Yesterday was Mazzy's first parent-free day of "insurance policy". (Alright, alright— I'll start calling it SCHOOL now.) She did great. At least I think she did great. There's no way to know for sure, of course, since I wasn't there. But when I dropped her off, the other kids were all screaming and swarming the door like angry bees and Mazzy just looked at the wall of unfamiliar toys, smiled, and gave me a kiss goodbye.

She's a tough kid, my Mazzy.

In addition to Mazzy starting school, these past two weeks have been a bit crazy. For starters, I launched and at the same time, somewhat accidentally started a full-on Evil Baby Glare-Off Tournament (the logistics of which are making my head spin).

Below is a breakdown of what's what.


Jamesdean I'm adding one or two lookalikes a day. If you'd like to submit someone, you can do so here. There's an actual online form and an upload button. Fancy, right?

Otherwise, I would love if you would check out the site and rate as many lookalikes as possible. There's a five star rating underneath each picture that looks kind of sad with only a few people (aka me) weighing in.

And tell your friends! Especially if their kid looks like Alec Baldwin. Or Jeff Bridges. Or Alice from the Brady Bunch. Or Booger from Revenge of the Nerds. Or— you get the idea.


The Baby Glare-Off

Glareoff2 There are over 120 submissions on the Mommy Shorts facebook fanpage. Which is kind of crazy considering I have yet to determne if there is a prize. Just so you know, the facebook "likes" underneath the pictures do not determine the winner. I'm just using them to help me decide who to include in the tournament.

I'm thinking I'll use 32 babies since a 32 bracketed tournament breaks down nicely into 5 rounds. (The pool narrows each time, just like how a tennis tournament works).

But that leaves a lot of kids out.

So now I'm trying to decide whether to do two tournaments and then have the two winners face-off in the end. Which could be cool but could also drive me crazy and make everyone super sick of the tournament by the time it's over.

Anyone want to weigh in on how I should handle the insane amount of evil babies staring me down on my fanpage? 32? 64? What do you all think?


Two-Week Recap

What else happened in the two weeks since I came home from my child-free South American escapade?

• I got accused of being a terrible parent

• Mazzy screamed "BEAR!" in a crowded theater

• Mike faced off with Mayor Bloomberg during Hurricane Irene

• Grandma and Grandpa challenged Spongebob to a cage match

• Mazzy held a grudge

• Friend hatched a plan to throw Minnie Mouse down the elevator shaft

• Cookie Monster covered Tom Waits

Mazzy's feet applied for their own zip code

• Landon shat on Jack Sparrow (click here for the winner of the caption contest)

• Mazzy became an Apple spokesperson

Access Hollywood paid my blog a visit

• Dr. B helped two readers talk to their children about death

• Ryan won an iPad 2— the biggest prize in Mommy Shorts history

Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopez and The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man each one an $100 Amazon gift card

John Candy and Alfalfa walked away with two Colossal Cupcakes from Crumbs Bakeshop.

• And someone is about to win a delux baby shower box from Citrus Lane (winner announced next Thursday, click here to enter)

And that's it.

Except one more thing.


That's Beary the Classroom Bear. He does not belong to Mazzy but all reports say she has clung to him for dear life both days of school. It's a good thing. I was worried for that bear's safety.

Have a good weekend!

—Mommy Shorts