Did you know that I am incredibly controversial? It's true! Apparently, some people don't find me funny in the slightest! SHOCKING, I know. I'm so glad this has been brought to my attention as I was busy living in a cave of nice and humorous people (like yourselves) and had no idea what lurked out there in the larger world of parents.
Yesterday, I had a guest post published on Baby Center. It was titled "7 Signs You Are Ready To Have A Second Child". In it, I talk about deciding "if" and "when" to have a second kid and list seven signs that let you know it's time to conceive.
#2: While chasing your overactive toddler around the house as he/she throws pasta sauce on the carpet and spaghetti on the ceiling, you think— this would be so much more fun if done in the company of a crying newborn!
#3: When you think back on your pregnancy, you remember the ability to eat whatever you wanted, the shininess of your hair and the strength of your fingernails— as opposed to the backaches, nausea and water retention.
WELL. Let me just say, some people did not find this funny AT ALL.
They thought I was employing "scare tactics" and were hoping to glean actual knowledge on "second child readiness signs". Like, maybe…. measure the width of your hips and if they are more than 28" wide, they are properly sized for birthing. Or… take your temperature and if it is normal than you will not get your husband sick by having sex with him.
In fairness, more than 3/4 of the people who commented were very much in on the joke, seemed to possess the sarcasm gene and rushed to my defense.
The other faction made comments like:
"Whoever wrote this obviously isn’t a parent or just plain sucks at life all together."
"Way to look at the struggles of parenting and not the joys. Wouldn’t expect much more though from this liberal minded site. Sigh."
"The negative tone makes me think the author should stop at one child and not consider any more since a baby seems such a bother."
"Terrible article, not impressed."
"How selfish can you be? Obviously you are not seeing the beauty that comes with being a parent, probably because you’re so consumed with your 'job-career'."
"I really expected some sound advice. FAIL."
Well, the joke's on them because apparently, I can win a prize if my post gets a ton of comments. And controversy breeds discussion— over 115 comments and counting! So, if you would all please click on the post and write something like…
"Mommy Shorts sucks! She wouldn't know comedy if Will Ferrell farted on her face!"
That would feed the flames and help me tremendously, thanks!
In all seriousness, I get that my humor is not for everyone and please don't think I am taking any of this personally. Baby Center loved my post and I thank them for posting it. (This is not about Baby Center in general, just a handful of commenters.) But the experience also made me so grateful that I have a group of readers that "get me", know how very much I love my daughter (despite the baby bashing) and won't think I'm a horrible person for bringing a second child (if and when that happens) into my playfully demented little world.
In fact, my favorite comment comes from someone named Vivian:
"Best post ever on this website."
Thank you, Vivian. Welcome to the dark side!
If you decided you are not a Mommy Shorts fan, that's too bad because I'm giving away a freakin' iPad 2 on Friday for a Vonage "Time to Call" promotion.