All that drama over at Baby Center? I started that all the way from Buenos Aires! If you think people find me unfunny in America, you can only imagine how unfunny I seem to a country where I do not speak the native language. I can't even order a cup of coffee correctly, let alone make a joke about it.

(Seriously, thank you all for defending my honor. I was truly blown away by your show of support. The Baby Center post now has 211 comments so you guys doubled the original response!)

Tomorrow will be my tenth day away for work in South America, which means I am getting to the part where I realize I didn't pack enough underwear. In two more days, I will be turning socks inside out and squeezing the dear life out of my mini-toothpaste for that last smidgen of Crest.

I miss Mazzy (and Mike) terribly but I find that it gets easier as the days pass. Instead of feeling farther and farther away, I feel closer to going home. The hardest part was the first two days when it felt like the trip would never end. Now I'm enjoying the malbec, the beautiful people and the massive amounts of beef. (And spending lots of time on Skype.)

I wish I could show you great pictures of the city but a) I haven't done a lot of sight-seeing because I'm working most of the time and b) I stupidly keep forgetting to use my good camera (even though it's hanging out at the bottom of my bag) in favor of taking sub-par photos with my iPhone 3.

If there is one thing I have learned since I have been in Buenos Aires, it's— I am a horrible travel blogger.

But I'll try my best.

For starters, my room is FANTASTIC. I'm staying in the pool house of this little boutique hotel. It's hard to explain but it feels like I am living in a glass box with a wall around it. I'm not gonna tell you the name of the hotel because I'm still here and guaranteed, I'd get a call from my mother saying I should expect to be murdered. (This has nothing to do with my mother thinking Argentina is a dangerous place— she would say the same for revealing my location anywhere on earth.)

Here is a picture:


That picture is taken from my living room and yes, that's my private little pool. Too bad it is the dead of winter. Here's the perspective from my bedroom:


The staircase goes up to a little kitchen and an outdoor deck. Amazing, right? Please know that these are not normal accomodations for me. I believe (and this might be because the people I am working with have booked almost the entire hotel) that this room is about $200 a night. Good luck finding a shoebox to piss in for that kind of money in Manhattan.

My co-worker's room is equally fantastic (although completely different) but the most important thing to note is that there is a Space Invader in her shower.


Below is the adorable hotel breakfast:


Those spreads are coffee butter, whipped cream cheese, pear puree and chocolate ganache. There is also a croissant included which is not pictured because I ate it. And someone is going to have to stop putting delicious bowls of homemade bread in front of my face before it ruins my trip entirely.

We had Sunday off and went to the fabulous San Telmo flea market. (I did not ask the woman below to sign a Mommy Shorts release, so if you know her— Shhhhhh!!!!)


At the flea market, I started a very important photo series called "REALLY CREEPY DOLLS". Expect to hear more about them at a later date. Here's a taste:


This photo is titled "If You Cross Me, I Will Attack You With Tweezers."

Also at the flea market was Tweety Bird being buried alive by phones from the seventies:


Someone doing a John Cusack from "Being John Malcovich" impression:


And Jack Sparrow:


The main thing I have been doing besides working (and forgetting to use my good camera) is eating at ungodly hours. Argentinians go out to dinner at 10pm. Then they want to tango afterwards. Tango is on tap for tomorrow night. I hope I learn how to order a gigantic cup of coffee by then.

One of the coolest things about Buenos Aires is that the architecture looks kind of downscale from the street but you'll open an unmarked door to find the most beautifully designed venue hidden inside.

Like Tegui— the restaurant we went to tonight. It's behind a black door amidst a bunch of graffitti on a cement slab wall. (I stole the below pictures from the website because my camera phone pics came out all black.)


Ring the bell and inside you find this:


Besides the amazing decor, the eclectic food was phenomenal. Ditto for the Scandinavian influenced Olsen— another restaurant with a similar "you have no idea what lurks behind this wall" vibe.





Again, above photos were also stolen due to horrible pictures taken on my camera phone.

Speaking of my camera phone, I used it to take a picture of my real camera biding it's time in South America at the bottom of my bag:


Maybe I will remember to take it out tomorrow.

In conclusion: I can't really complain. But I'm still really excited to go home. (Only four more days left!)

Anybody want to take bets on how many inches Mazzy has grown since I've been gone?


Today is the last day to enter the Baby Celebrity Lookalikes Contest. Winners (including the three Colossal Crumbs Cupcake winners) will be announced on Monday.

Tomorrow I am giving away an iPad 2. I seriously considered keeping the thing for myself, but I'll do the honorable thing and give it to one of you guys. Then I will make whoever that person is feel guilty about it for the next 3-4 years.