It would have seemed that a poop joke for this week's caption contest would be a shoo-in, what with 95% of the captions involving some form of defecation, but Poppy from Funny or Snot, our judge and current Caption Contest Queen, chose something with a bit more class.

Poppy chose the lovely Julie Gardner who must have been shitting a mix of lavender and vanilla bean when she wrote…

"See, Jack. Just like Mommy in those pictures from Spring Break. Now maybe she'll remember: NO HORIZONTAL STRIPES!"

Or to put it more simply, there was also a caption from Emily which read:

"Be honest Jack… do I look fat in these track pants?"

Congratulations, Julie! You win bragging rights, a virtual crown and the supreme honor of judging the next caption contest. Did you ever think you'd feel so proud?

HONORABLE MENTIONS

"Best Poop Captions" go to Cheryl S:

"I wouldn't do that kid, they're going to rub your nose in it!"

Nixon's Mom:

"Hey Jack, Mom won't buy wet wipes anymore. Can you help a brotha out?"

and Sue Turpin:

"Humans are so dense. It only took me two weeks to get house-trained."

The "Couldn't Be Closer to the Truth" poop joke goes to Kelly who wrote:

"This is MY house now!"

The "Most Sophisticated" poop joke goes to Whiskey L'Amour who wrote:

"Snifffff… I detect hints of mum, a subtle undertone of vanilla and strong notes of blackberry. I'm guessing a blend from the 2009 Grand Reserved collection."

And the "Farthest From a Poop Joke" goes to Lori who said:

"Now if you'd just worn the saddle like I ASKED you, I could be a proper cowboy and wouldn't have to look like a lame-ass on my 'air-horse.' I tell ya, we are NOT gonna get any chicks this way."

But the "Beautifully Brief" poop joke has to go to New Mom On the Blog who so eloquently put:

"Ruh roh."

Congratulations to all the mentions, thank you to Brandy from MannlyMama for letting me host a caption contest that will surely get you into big trouble with Landon at some point in his life, and most of all, thank you to Julie— our newest Caption Contest Queen.

This is your crown:

Wear it proudly.