Above is a modified chart from last year (click to enlarge), created using reader comments of what you all wished you were getting for Mother's Day. I hope the person who said a "pantless Bradley Cooper" doesn't mind that I changed it to a "pantless Ryan Gosling"— Ryan seems so much more 2012.

Although, really, either one will do.

I also want to thank everyone who came to last night's Mother's Day themed twitter party sponsored by Britely. Congrats to all the winners especially Marian— the lucky recipient of a $250 gift certificate.

Marian— I hope you get everything you requested for Mother's Day. Here's a shortened version of her winning Brite, entitled "I'm a Simple Woman. All I Want for Mother's Day Is…"

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To see the full Brite, which is AWESOME, click here. And if you'd like to read Marian's blog, you can find her at Just Keep Swimming.

These past couple of weeks have been a bit crazy for me— what with my vacation, the Mom 2.0 conference, and performing in Listen to Your Mother. I'm not complaining, but I kind of wish they hadn't all fallen right on top of eachother, so I would have been able to appreciate each on it's own.

I am also incredibly happy to be home with no upcoming travel plans or big events in the near future.

It's like my Mother's Day gift to myself.

But before I bask in the hopefully uneventful months ahead, I'm gonna leave the past behind with an old school Mommy Shorts recap.

What else happened these last few weeks besides Jessica Simpson giving birth to a son?

Mazzy broke me at an outlet strip mall

Park Slope children refused to eat mac 'n cheese unless it was locally sourced

• Daisy Duck fell over again and everybody LOST THEIR SHIT

• I started sleeping with a diaper bag

• We all hid in the bathroom together

• Mazzy was diagnosed with ANTS IN THE PANTS

• I saved Maxwell Drew from crucial parenting mistakes

• We thanked our lucky stars we don't work as prostitutes on "Take Your Kids To Work Day"

Mazzy welcomed me home with open arms, for once

• We found out Tide is out to get us

• Grover established "soft limits" with Christain Grey (or something like that)

Mazzy mocked me

• We learned ponytails are the first step to letting go

I stalked Chace Crawford

• Dr. B taught us how to get our kids to stop hitting

• And finally, I wrote a very special ode to my mom

I hope everyone has a super fantastic mother's day— I for one will be shocked SHOCKED if my husband has gotten me a gift since, with all the craziness, I forgot to put in a specific request. 

If all else fails, please make sure you get to pee in peace this Sunday.

You deserve it!

xo, Mommy Shorts