You want to know what irony is? Irony is writing a post about how 2013 sounds like it's going to be unlucky and then suddenly your computer screen does this weird thing and the whole post is gone before you got a chance to save it.

Actually, I don't think that's what irony is. It's more like the Alanis Morissette version of irony.

Whatever. You win 2013. I will do whatever you say. You want me to quit the chit-chat and post a "Best of 2012" list? SO BE IT.

Here are my top posts of 2012 (give or take a few) in images, charts, and videos…

1. 21 Words Totally Butchered by Toddlers


Juice is douche, balloons are baboons and trucks are, well… you know. These are all real reader-submitted mispronunciations. Continue reading…

2. Porn for Moms of Toddlers


Ryan Gosling steps out for extra absorbant diapers, Joshua Jackson feeds you potty training M&M's, John Hamm massages your foot after you step on a Lego, etc. etc. Continue reading…

3. Shit Toddlers Say

Even if this meme is tired as hell, this is still the best representation I could possibly have of Mazzy when she was two.


4. What Do Snooki, Gisele and I Have in Common?


The post in which I announce my BIG NEWS. Continue reading…

5. What Kids' TV Shows are You Destined to Watch?

My finest flow chart to date…


6. Naming a Baby Would Be Easy Without My Husband


A post in which my husband thinks every baby name I suggest is either a stripper or a cat. Continue reading…

7. My Marriage: Before and After Parenthood


A post about two people who like to travel, go to the gym before work and have never been subjected to the vocal stylings of the Fresh Beat Band. Continue reading…

8. What People Say to a Pregnant Woman Vs. What a Pregnant Woman Hears


Two months away from giving birth and feelin' freakin' HUGE. Continue reading… 

9. Baby Shaming: Reader Edition


Many people think baby shaming is anything but funny. My readers respectfully disagree. Continue reading…

10. Evil Baby Glare-Off: Round One


The contest that became global. Seriously, it was on a television show in Japan. Continue reading…

11. Husband Shaming: Blogger Edition


Shaming husbands is even more fun than babies. Plus, everyone is doing it. Continue reading…

12. The Day Harlow was Born


The biggest thing to happen on my blog this year was Harlow. This is Part One of Harlow's birth story, the part when Mike once again proves coffee is more important than his wife in labor. Continue reading…

13. A Handy Guide to Lying to Your Kids


Lies including "it's against the law to go to school in your pajamas", "the playground closes for naptime" and "mommy is allergic to all pets, even reptiles". Continue reading…

14. 10 Differences Between 1st Time Moms and Second Time Moms


The most popular post on my blog to date and I didn't even write it. BLERG. Continue reading…

15. Newborns are a Piece of Cake (Knock on Wood)


A post in which I describe how incredibly relaxing it is to take care of a baby as opposed to a toddler. Continue reading…

Of course, that last post has since proven to be total horseshit. I guess I should have knocked on that wood harder. More on that in 2013. The luckiest year EVER!

Happy New Year, my friends. May it be filled with joy, sleep, and tons of alone time in the bathroom.


And since this is the NEW YEAR, wouldn't it be the perfect time to follow me on facebook? Pinterest? And instagram???