I have been interviewed twice in my life. The first was for Gothamist about seven years ago. I was going to link up to the exact page, but I just reread the interview and it's totally embarrassing. It's naive. It's optimistic. It's so… so… childless.

The second interview is today over at Modern Bird. Modern Bird Studios (in addition to doing kickass blogger interviews) creates awesome works of art from your personal photographs, plus a series called Modtots which includes my racoon friend pictured left. If you check out the interview, you can read my answers to questions like "Who do you think would win a streetfight between NYC stroller moms and NYC baby sling moms?" (Baby sling moms, DUH) and "Who do you think you ARE, anyway?" (that wasn't really a question).

If you are visiting from Modern Bird— WELCOME! Take a look around. That's my kid up top. Isn't she cute? And there's free coffee over by my left sidebar. Just take a right at Popular Posts and you'll find it between Fatherhood 101 and Breaking Up With Myself on Craig's List. If you need a bathroom, you'll have to go back to Modern Bird. My bathroom is open to regular readers only. I'm kidding! Shit all over the place!

If you're here for the $100 Diapers.com giveaway, you can find it here. The winner will be announced on Monday along with research and analysis of The Great Diaper Jeans Debate. Spoiler alert: Diaper Jeans are losing so badly that I am thinking of renaming them… Sarah Palin? Chantel from The Bachelor? The NY Knicks? (That sports reference was for my male readers. Hi, Craig!)

Besides all that, I'm gonna do my usual quickie recap. What else happened these past two weeks besides realizing I embarrassed myself seven years ago?

• I bribed a flight attendant for extra snacks

• I found the next viral video baby (now at over 10,000,000 hits, thank you very much)

• I chose practicality over a minature grand piano

• Mazzy made The Harvard Debate Team

• We learned the wrong preschool leads to a life in prison

• We told poor little Parker he was adopted

• Dr. B moved your kids to Texas

• Ellie told us to "FUCK IT"

• Craig killed The Hideous Doll Sisters

• And finally, I got robbed by Bradley Cooper

Next week, I'm posting the Mommy Shorts End of Winter album, so if you'd like to contribute a picture of your kid bundled up for the snow, please send it to myshort@mommyshorts.com.

And lastly, I know funny people aren't supposed to say that they are funny because then they are deemed automatically unfunny, but I am willing to take that risk. Can everyone please take .5 seconds to vote for me for Top 25 Funniest Moms? The link will take you directly to me so it's super easy. You can vote once a day if you so desire up until March 28th when they will announce the winners. THANK YOU!!!!

That's it. Have a good weekend!

—Mommy Shorts