Picture 1 If you missed it, this headline appeared in New York Magazine last week: “Mom Sues Upper East Side Preschool for Ruining Her Daughter’s Chances at the Ivy League”. You can read the whole article by clicking here. But the gist of it is that a woman is claiming that “getting a child into the Ivy League starts in nursery school” and York Avenue Preschool was not spending enough time preparing her daughter for “the ERB, an admissions exam required by almost all elite private elementary schools”. Instead, the children were using the class as (*GASP*) “one big playroom”.

I know what you’re thinking— “That was so last week!” Well. You should know that I didn’t want to just relay the news. I wanted to add to the conversation. So I took the past few days to do a very involved research study in order to get a better understanding of what exactly can happen to two children starting their educational careers on opposing paths.

I have quantified and qualified and in the end, I have boiled it down to one super specific chart. I must say, the results are far more disparate than anybody imagined. BEHOLD.


Scary stuff, y’all. Even scarier now that I’m a New Yorker saying “y’all”. The truth is, I am two months away from being told I should have started my preschool search two months ago. Mazzy is in trouble. Impressing the elite is NOT MY THING.