Wit Archives - Page 9 of 64

07/15/16

42 Things Kids Do That Adults Should Do, Too

1) Paint your toenails ten different colors. 2) Mix three different kinds of cereal together in one bowl at breakfast. 3) Scream “THIS IS BOOOORING!” while waiting on the line at Starbucks…

06/30/16

The Ultimate July 4th Drinking Game for Parents

Take one sip if your child begs for a sparkler but then becomes completely paralyzed with terror the moment you light it.

06/27/16

Sharing a Hotel Room with your Kids is Not for the Weak

The only way to get the girls to fall asleep in our hotel room is to split them up, which means Mazzy sleeps with Mike and I sleep with Harlow. And Harlow DOES NOT SLEEP.

06/23/16

How Many Inflight Injuries can One Family Sustain?

Ever since I started traveling with a first aid kit, I have become the most useful person around. Probably because my family is NOTORIOUS for travel injuries.

06/20/16

41 Common Mistakes Moms Make in the Morning

Even if you start your day off on the right foot, chances are, you’ll immediately plant that foot on a pile of Legos embedded in Silly Putty that someone left on the stairs.

06/03/16

Summer and the Return of the Faux Boo-Boo

Does anyone use as many Band-Aids as my kids over the summer? I think it’s because they are more likely to get bruises and because more exposed skin means more room to wear their favorite characters.

06/02/16

26 Reasons Moms are Stressed Out at the End of the School Year

#1) Every morning it becomes more likely that someone will notice the holes in your kid’s gym shoes, but you sure as hell aren’t buying new ones at this point.

05/25/16

Incessant Potty Breaks and 20 More Problems Dining Out with Kids

Why do toddlers always request a bathroom break at the precise moment your meal arrives at the table? Guess you’ll be eating that dish cold. If at all.

05/24/16

45 Excuses My Three-year-old has for Not Being Asleep Right Now

It’s 9pm. Do you know where your child is? I do. She’s up complaining about one of numerous things that is wrong with her current bedtime situation.

05/11/16

15 Ways Playing Sorry! Is Just Like Motherhood

Game night usually starts off with someone saying, “You know what would be fun?” and ends with people crying for reasons that no one understands.

05/10/16

12 Problems Dining Out with Kids

My kids are not acting in this video. This is what they do EVERY TIME WE GO OUT TO EAT.

05/09/16

19 Hilariously Honest Portraits of Mom Drawn by their Kids

There’s nothing more heartwarming than your kid drawing a portrait of you that makes you realize it’s time to pluck your eyebrows.

05/03/16

Private Jets are Kim K’s Greatest Mommy Hack!

You know how it sucks to take a baby on a plane because all the surrounding passengers wish they could switch their seats? Kim Kardashian has the perfect hack for that— Get your own damn plane!

04/27/16

20 Things that Will Totally Happen if You Bring Your Kid to Work

Unless your job is “zookeeper” or “running back,” taking your kid to work involves sticking them in front of an iPad while you attempt to get 1/8 of the work done you would on a normal day.

04/26/16

Yelp Reviews of Meals Made in My Toddler’s “Restaurant”

No matter how much hype you’ve heaped on the pretend food coming out of your little chef’s play kitchen, I’m guessing you would never recommend your toddler’s “restaurant” to others.