Last week, I posted a few portraits of me drawn by Mazzy and Harlow. They emphasized my zombie-like eyes and my larger than life nose. Thanks, kids! Then I asked you guys to submit #refreshinglyhonest portraits your kids have drawn of you for the chance to win prizes from Honest Tea.
The facebook thread of submissions is wonderful, if you want to check it out.
There’s really nothing more heartwarming than your kid’s pride as he hands you over his artistic interpretation of mom, which includes a gut and really aggressive eyebrows. Gee, it has been a long time since I plucked those bad boys, you think sadly to yourself.
Here are 19 hilariously honest portraits of mom drawn by their kids. I took the liberty of titling them.
1. The Direct Effects of Aging
“My daughter Hazel drew herself full of energy on the left and then captured my fatigue and eye twitch on the right.” – @endwood8
2. Where’s My Caffeine????
“We had run out of coffee that morning, if I remember correctly. Obviously, it looks nothing like me. My circles are UNDER my eyes, not OVER them.” – Susan M
3. Chunk’s Best Friend
“Apparently, my son thinks I’m Sloth from the Goonies.” – Laura R
4. Massive Head wound
“My son told me this was ‘Mommy with an owie on your head.’ I did not currently have an owie on my head, but I sure did watch my back the rest of the day, just in case.” – Jamie W.
5. Mommy Monster
“Pretty sure I took away his tablet that day…” – Wendy S.
6. Get YOur Mind out of the Gutter
“My daughter drew this picture when she was three. It’s supposed to be my husband and I ice skating. Obviously. Is it just me or do we look a little ‘stiff’?!” – Stephanie S.
7. Sour Grapes
“My 2.5 year-old apparently thinks I’m the world’s angriest California Raisin.” – Elizabeth F.
8. bathroom dictator
“This is supposedly me holding the toilet plunger screaming about who put so much toilet paper in the toilet. I’m particularly fond of the teeth.” – Kerri G.
9. The ghost of the Poo Emoji
“The colored inside is my ‘blood and guts and stuff.’ Not quite sure if I’m a ghost or the poo emoji.” – Cindy N.
“My 8-year-old asked me to pose for a portrait. I can’t decide if I like the sharp teeth or the ‘Derp’ written in the corner the best.” – Janel M.
11. Side Boob
“My daughter drew this picture of me a couple years ago. I assure you my nose is much nicer and smaller than pictured, and that my boobs are NOT in my armpits.” – Charlotte S.
12. Go the F*ck to Sleep
“This portrait is courtesy of my 7 year-old and proudly displayed outside her classroom. Clearly this is right before bedtime and I was about to lose my sh*t!” – Amber L.
13. boobs with legs
“This is a portrait of me by my 3 year-old son, from when I used to wear glasses. Anyone care to guess what those other circles are supposed to be?” – Je Y.
“This was a page in my kindergartener’s autobiography… about all the times I didn’t WAIT FOR HER to finish whatever she was messing around with in her room and I went downstairs AHEAD OF HER.” – Amy A.
15. that means your lap is very comfortable
“When she handed this to me, she said ‘Mom, you are the fattest one in our family!'” – Esther L.
16. time to get anti-aging cream
“When I saw this picture, I asked my 3.5 year-old if he thought I had whiskers. ‘Nope, those are the lines when you smile.'” – Andrea S.
17. Big green belly
“My three year-old daughter drew this. As you can tell I have a giant smile, however, my aggressive beard seems to keep that smile hidden. You may be impressed by my boobs or it could be the gigantic belly, colored in for emphasis. I feel so pretty when I look at this picture!” – Kelley N.
18. parenting is easier with alcohol
“My daughter (6 at time) was very proud that she spelled beer correctly. I do not have blue hair but maybe I drink too much beer???” – Lindsey M.
19. The Two-headed Supermom
“My son drew this picture when he was 5 years-old. I was just divorced and he drew me as a two-headed person watching over him. He said it was because I was mommy and daddy in one body being two people.” – @zanderbear
There are still 6 more days to enter the contest! Winners are being notified daily beneath their Facebook posts or Instagrams, depending on where they entered. There will be fourteen winners total. Each one receiving a month supply of Honest Tea.
You can read the full rules here.
All Honest Tea bottles and juice pouches use only organic certified ingredients. As a company, they are committed to being completely transparent in the making of their products. Their Refreshingly Honest Project encourages people to live more honest lives. Not by divulging big dark secrets but by admitting genuinely amusing truths that are often thought but rarely said out loud.
Like that your five-year-old kinda nailed your angry face.
And the winners are…
Cindy Nielsen, Janel Mills, Stephanie Ayres Stefanoni, Wendy J Sellers, Laura Meri Russin, Ellen Caywood, Susan Bristow-Mclean, Janice Bureta, Teresa Zetwick, Heidi Burns, Kara Miller, Natasha McCreary, DiGi Graham, Charlotte Steenbergen
CONGRATS! Please contact firstname.lastname@example.org to claim your prize
This post was sponsored by Honest Tea, but all drawings were done by your kids.