A few weeks ago, I showed off my new Oh Joy! First Aid Kit which is stocked with Band-Aid brand bandages, Neosporin and adhesive gauze pads. The funny thing is that ever since I started traveling with this thing, I have become the most useful person around.
I mean, I always carried around Band-Aid bandages, but they were far from organized in a kit. More like a couple loose bandages hanging out in a purse side pocket picking up crumbs and powdered blush residue. Not exactly anything you’d want near an open wound.
Now, not only can I answer Mazzy and Harlow’s multiple Band-Aid requests, I’ve been fielding requests from other people’s children as well. I’ve also helped out co-workers, friends and my very own husband on our way home from Chicago. Imagine his shock after gashing the back of his hand on the luggage compartment latch, when I not only pulled out a crumb-free Finding Dory Band-Aid, I whipped out antibiotic ointment too!
By the time I post this, my family will be in Copenhagen, but as of right now, I can only imagine the number of injuries my family will sustain on our full day of travel. They are NOTORIOUS for travel injuries. Remember Mike and the sea urchin in Turks & Caicos?
HERE IS SERIOUSLY HOW THE FLIGHT COULD GO DOWN:
Harlow wakes up the morning of our trip, demanding a Band-Aid for a huge blister on her big toe. (I guess I should have fought that sockless battle a little harder.)
While packing, Mazzy gets her finger caught in the zipper of her suitcase. (Now we know this is an imaginary story because Mazzy has never attempted to actually pack for herself, let alone close her own suitcase.)
Once at the airport, Mazzy rolls her suitcase over Harlow’s foot. Harlow screams that she needs a new Band-Aid on her big toe. “Harlow, you are wearing closed-toed shoes. Your Band-Aid is fine.” “No, it’s not. It hurts! I NEED ANOTHER ONE!!!” (This part of the story is based on actual events.)
Mazzy insists on holding both her and Harlow’s boarding passes, which Harlow pulls from her hand, giving Mazzy a legit paper cut on her finger.
Harlow suddenly needs a Band-Aid on her finger as well. Have I mentioned that Harlow has this new thing where she must pretend she has the same injuries as everybody else?
Mazzy gets mad that Harlow is trying to steal her injury thunder and runs off to sulk in a corner. Unfortunately, the top half of Mazzy’s body has more momentum than the bottom half, resulting in a skid on the floor, effectively skinning her entire knee. “OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!”
I rush to Mazzy with Neosporin and a Band-Aid, when I hear a tiny voice from behind me, “Mommy, I hurt my knee too.”
I give Mazzy a Dory Band-Aid and Harlow gets a Nemo. A fight ensues. “I wanted the Dory!” screams Harlow. “Your cut isn’t even real!” screams Mazzy. I give them each two Band-Aid bandages.
Once on the plane, Mike reopens his same latch injury while once again trying to shove our carry-ons in the overhead bin. GOD FORBID WE ACTUALLY STORE A BAG UNDERNEATH THE PLANE WHERE THEY BELONG!
While climbing into her seat, Harlow knocks the Dory Band-Aid off her knee (which is covering the pretend sympathy injury.) I give her a Nemo. She demands that I give her exactly the same Dory Band-Aid, of which we are all out.
After take-off, Mazzy takes an iPad break to check out her snack options in the inflight-magazine. All is going swimmingly until she sustains THE SECOND PAPER CUT OF THE DAY.
There is actual blood so I take her to the bathroom to wash it off. On the way back to her seat, she nearly takes out the flight attendant so I throw a Band-Aid in her direction for good measure. I also begin to wonder if I can use the adhesive gauze pads to cover my eyes and make my children disappear.
Just as I am about to doze off myself, Harlow informs me that her Band-Aid fell off her finger and she needs another. “Your Band-Aid is still on your finger, Harlow. It’s perfectly fine.” I then watch as Harlow rips off the Band-Aid right in front of me and says, “No, it’s not.”
I check my kit and panic because I am now running low on Band-Aid bandages. Maybe the family behind us has some if we run out? Will they call my kids’ cuts out for being imaginary? Will I need to find some ketchup packets and stage something?
The flight finally ends and my family disembarks from the plane. When it’s our turn at immigration, the officer eyes us all suspiciously. I realize we are all covered in Band-Aid bandages.
“Don’t mind us, sir. More than half of these wounds are imaginary.”
The officer understands. “Any chance you have another Band-Aid? I got a paper cut stamping a passport earlier today,” he says.
“Sure, no problem.” I hand him one.
“This is Dory. Any chance you have a Nemo instead?”
I’m giving away another Oh Joy! First Aid kit with a supply of BAND-AID® Brand WATER BLOCK® Adhesive Bandages, BAND-AID® Brand Adhesive Bandages by Oh Joy!, BAND-AID® Brand Adhesive Bandages featuring Finding Dory and NEOSPORIN® + Pain Itch Scar.
Just describe an injury you could see one of your kids getting on a plane in the comments below.
Congrats to Cassi P, who predicts a portable DVD player injury. Please contact firstname.lastname@example.org to claim your prize!
This post is sponsored by Johnson & Johnson Consumer Inc. but my kids’ obsessions with Band-Aid bandages has been well-documented before this post!