1. That your little hellions sleep at least an hour later than usual.
2. That when they get up, they decide to go to the kitchen and make themselves their own breakfast. How hard is pouring cereal in a bowl?
3. That one kid figures out how to use the Apple TV remote to access Netflix while the other kid climbs the kitchen counter to find the iPad so she can watch “How to Build a Snowman” to her heart’s content.
4. That when one of the adults finally finds the strength to roll out of bed and check on the kids, that adult is your husband/boyfriend/partner/spouse/etc.
5. That your husband/boyfriend/partner/spouse/etc. decides to bathe the kids (hair washing included!) while you sleep at least another hour. Bonus if the inevitable crying (“the water went in my eyes!!!!”) isn’t loud enough to wake you up.
6. That when you do wake up, you find a steaming hot cup of coffee and a plate of pancakes with more than enough syrup on a tray next to your bed. On the tray, there’s a note that says, “This was made without any help from the kids. Therefore, it is safe to eat.”
7. That you follow up your breakfast in bed by walking straight into your bathroom to take a shower, without any detours into the living room/kitchen/play area to make sure the kids are still alive.
8. That you spend twenty luxurious minutes in that shower before you even pick up a bar of soap.
9. That when you finally emerge from the bedroom after getting ready at a pace previously reserved for childless people (and turtles), your children are not only alive— they stop what they are doing, look up, and all shout in unison “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!”
10. That when you wake up from your ridiculous Mother’s Day dream at 6am because your baby started crying and your newly potty-trained toddler wet the bed and realize Mother’s Day isn’t all that different from a normal day…
You still feel kinda blessed to be a mom.
I’m hoping this post isn’t too similar to “What I Really Want for Mother’s Day” by Baby Sideburns. It’s definitely cleaner than her post, I’ll give it that. You can also see her post in video form (fancy!) by clicking here.
The pictures at the top of this post were all submitted to the #rewardyourselfie hashtag on Instagram. I’ve partnered with Olympus to give away one TG-850 camera a day, every day up through May 15th. Follow @mommyshorts on Instagram to participate. You can find the full rules here.
Next week, I am starting the process of selecting the 12 mothers who will be featured in my Monday Mornings series. Thanks to a sponsorship from Allstate, I’ll be featuring three moms in four different cities across the country. If you’d like to be considered or learn more about Monday Mornings, click here.
A big congratulations to Riara, the randomly selected winner of the Mother’s Day Gift Guide Giveaway! She’s taking home a prize package worth over $1000, including gifts from Keurig, Olympus, Xyron, Little Miss Party, the Bouqs Company, Lilly Jade, XShot and Aqua Spa. Riara’s best gift ever (up until now, of course) was “a trip to England to stay with my grandma, from my parents, in the third grade”.
Happy Mother’s Day to her!
And a very Happy Mother’s Day to all of you too.
May you have a wonderful day with as much sleep and as little poop as possible.
XO, Mommy Shorts