We spent three days in Hawaii so far and it's just gorgeous. It's that kind of weather where you can wear pants and a long sleeve shirt or a bathing suit, and in both scenarios, be totally comfortable. I call it non-weather and it's my favorite kind.

The view from our room is insane and the fresh ahi I had last night with vanilla infused jasmine rice was one of the most delicious meals I've had in a long time. Mike had lamb chops which he deemed equally delicious. Several times today, Mike and I have turned to eachother over pink vodka lemonades and said…

"I am still thinking about that ahi from last night".

"I am still thinking about that lamb". 

Did I mention we are lounging poolside while we have these exchanges?

I know, I wasn't supposed to make you guys jealous, but I can't help myself. Check out the view from our room:


I am one lucky mama.

You know who doesn't care about our view?

Our children.

Mike and I attempted to show them our ocean view over facetime and Mazzy could care less.

"No! Show me the inside of your room!"

"Um… okay. This is the bed. This is the dresser. This is the mini refrigerator."


"Okay…. this is the bathroom."

"Where's the toilet?"

"Here's the toilet."



We also facetimed with Harlow and Mazzy during lunch today and FYI, you do not want to be sitting next to two parents facetiming with their kids at a restaurant. It's incredibly rude and we should have been thrown out of the place, but we realized a few minutes too late that 12pm noon was 6pm at home and this was our last opportunity of the day to call them.

"HI HARLOW!!!!!!!! HI MAZZY!!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING??????? I MISS YOU!!!!!! MWAH!!!! MWAH!!!!! MWAH!!!!!"

If I wasn't on vacation, I'd make a chart to properly illustrate the decibel level at which a parent talks to two children over facetime in a public place, but let's just say, if they turned off the phone, it's possible they still could have heard us back in New York. 

It was bad. I apologize to the other patrons around us.

Right now we are back in the room showering before we go to Evening Event #2. Mike is trying to pretend the sunburn blotches on his chest are not that bad, but they are THAT BAD. Here's a direct quote from one of Mike's co-workers:

"Did you see your husband? I bet your four-year-old can apply sunscreen better! You should put that one in your blog!!!"

If you don't understand why Mike's co-workers are on our Hawaiian vacation, I explain it here. Did I mention Mike's co-worker's know I have a blog? Some of them even read it. Makes blogging about them awkward.

Special Note to Mike's Co-workers: Hi! If you have any blog topics, feel free to shoot them my way. If you want to take pictures of me sleeping on a lounge chair with my mouth open and threaten to post them on twitter, go for it. NOBODY IS FOLLOWING YOU!!!!

This happened at the cocktail party last night:

"How are the kids?"

"Great! They're staying with my mother. They like Grammy better than us so they'll be fine."

"Oh, yeah. I read that on your blog."

Uh-oh. I am in trouble. If everyone has heard all my stories already, I am going to suck at small talk.

Before I forget— here are the winners of the "I Want to Be Alone" giveaway

Natasha and the #2 Bunga-LOO

Tanya and the Secret Engagement

Melanie and the Worst Wedding Toast Ever

Congrats! You are all the proud owners of a $50 Amazon gift card! I suggest you put $10 towards a copy of "I Just Want to Be Alone". Then you can subtly leave your book in places your husband can see it and then maybe one night he'll retreat into the bedroom and leave you to watch back-to-back Scandal episodes in peace.

I hope everyone has a great weekend! Of course, it won't be as good as mine…

Photo copy

Photo copy 2

Photo copy

But give it your best shot.


– Mommy Shorts

PS: If you'd like to see my vacation photos in real time, follow @mommyshorts on Instagram.