That's me yesterday at exactly 33 weeks pregnant. That's just seven weeks left; five weeks if this one comes two weeks early like Mazzy. (Eep!)

After all the talk of feeling HUGE, my OB informed me that I am carrying "small" and wants me to come in for an ultrasound on Monday. Probably the only time in my life where looking "small" is potentially a bad thing. Mazzy was small too so I am trying not to worry too much.

Last week, my "You look HUGE" preggo chart exploded on Facebook and you all responded with over 400 offensive comments people made while you were pregnant. Of course, I had no choice but to pick my favorites (favorites meaning the comments that would make me lock myself in my bedroom until my due date) and list them on Babble. Check out "The 16 Worst Comments Actually Said to Pregnant Women".

What else happened this month besides Lyndsay's husband calling her "Shamu"?

• Mazzy thought my belly button was her new little sister

• I found out Preschool University doesn't include room and board

• We all confessed to never washing our jeans

• My unborn child signed up for therapy 

• Mazzy's art was professionally critiqued

• We played with our childen while half asleep

• I packed candles, a motivational soundtrack and a birthing protocol document in my hospital bag (hahahahahahahaha)

• Mazzy KICKED ASS in her first potato sack race

and most importantly…


Also, yesterday I asked everyone to tell me their kid's messiest moment for a chance to win an Oreck VersaVac. Even though the winner will be selected randomly, your responses were so awesome (styrofoam, olive oil, kitty litter, OH MY!) that I'm also going to use them for a comment competition. You've got until October 12th to enter.

Next week, I will be announcing the prizes for the Evil Baby Glare-Off set to begin on October 15th. (Everyone as excited as I am???) You can still enter by posting a photo of your kid's evilest glare on the wall of the Mommy Shorts Facebook Fanpage. I've even got ten of my favorite contenders on Babble today.

I want to sign off with something witty but I'm feeling spent. Would you believe Mazzy didn't fall asleep until 11:30pm last night? And woke up at the ungodly hour of 3am? You try and convince a two-year-old that the television doesn't work in the middle of the night.

Plus, Mike is going away this weekend so I am on my own. Anyone want to trade places for the next 3 days? I've got lots of wine, Haagen Dazs ice cream in the fridge and a great big pregnancy pillow to keep you company at night…

That is all. I'm tired.

— Mommy Shorts