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Mazzy finally started preschool yesterday. I tried to tell the administration that having school start so late was bad for my blogging schedule ("But everyone will have already published their back-to-school posts and I'll be behind the curve!") but they didn't seem to care. 

What does Mazzy get for a preschool education that costs more than my first year of college? (Granted it was a state school, BUT STILL.)

Let's just say, I'm expecting her to rock polictical science, master complex calculus and teach me all about the theory of relativity by the end of this year. 

I bet Psych 101 is right after circle time and Art Theory will begin as soon as the children master keeping their crayons from rolling off the table.

Mazzy was excited the minute we pulled up in our collapsable stroller and began mingling (read: shrieking with glee and running around in circles) with the other students. I dutifully took my plastic bin full of diapers, wipes and extra clothes, all clearly marked with Mazzy's name, and put it in her designated cubby.

Then, I asked the teacher where the dorm rooms are, who Mazzy's room mate would be and where I should set up her hot plate, but the teacher didn't seem to know what I was talking about.

"What do you mean she's only here from 9am-12pm? The price doesn't include room and board?! And what's your keg policy because I heard that kids smuggle them in through the windows and I want to make sure that's not going to interfere with Mazzy's studies. Those finals aren't going to pass themselves!"

The teacher still looked really confused so I left in search of the main quad and the food court.

Oddly, I found myself back on the street inbetween a subway stop and a hotdog stand. Wait. THIS IS NOT WHAT THE BROCHURE LOOKED LIKE!

In seriousness (no seriously, Mazzy's preschool costs more per year than where I went to college), I am very excited for Mazzy to start school. She loves being social, school tires her out and the teachers get her to behave way better than I ever can.

For instance, when she came home, she wanted to throw a picnic on the floor with her tea set. I said fine, sat on the ground and pretended to eat a plastic tomato. Five minutes later, she shouts, "Picnic is over! Time to clean-up!" I said, "Ok, I'll help you" and she responded, "No, I will do it by myself."

Did she just ask to clean up proactively? And then tell me I didn't have to participate? Interesting…

Then we went to the playground. Mazzy rode there on her tricycle (the tricycle has a bar for me to push her) with her Boo (that's her blankie) tucked safely into the back compartment. Once at the playground, she ran over to the big girl swings but then saw a little boy beelining for her bike. She quickly raced back to beat the boy to the punch while I held my breath wondering what she was going to do— push him away? scream "MINE!" at the top her lungs? Nothing good, I was sure.

But when she reached her bike, she said to the boy calmly, "I am just going to get my Boo. Then you can ride my bicycle." Then she took her blankie out of the back of the bike and let the boy have his turn.

"I'm sharing with him, Mommy."

WHOA. One morning of preschool and the price is already worth it.


If you'd really like to know what your child is going to get out of their highfalutin preschool education, check out "10 Things Your Child Should Learn in Preschool" written by our resident expert, Dr. B.

Otherwise, this week has been interesting, what with over 170 kids giving me the evil eye on the Mommy Shorts Facebook Fanpage (keep those Evil Baby Glare-Off pics coming!), and the little bruhaha over my Baby Shaming post from yesterday.

I get that it wasn't everyone's cup of tea but I also believe that no babies were actually shamed in the making of that post. Thanks for the feedback, both the positive and negative. I know we all have a sense of humor around here, whether you liked it or not.

Have a great weekend, even though your kids *deep breath* will be home from school.

— Mommy Shorts