We went out to my dad's house in the Hamptons for the weekend. (My dad will be referred to as Poppy from this point forward to avoid confusion with Mike.) It was a full house— Poppy, my stepmother (aka Nonna), Mike, Mazzy, my sister, my brohter-in-law, their dog Roxy, and me.
You might remember Poppy's summer house from one of my first posts (still a favorite)— Grandpa's Baby Deathtrap in the Hamptons.
You see, Poppy's house is probably the least baby proofed place on the planet, short of maybe a nuclear power plant or a knife throwing school.
Mazzy cannot be trusted to be alone for a second, without fear of a large marble statue tumbling onto her head off a rickety pedestal or slamming into the sharp edged asymmetrical coffee table (something that I, a grown adult, has done more than once).
Seriously, I urge you to check out the photo evidence for yourself.
Anyway, Poppy's taste in "the anti-baby abstract" ended up being the least of my problems.
The main problem was the unfenced backyard pool temptingly situated mere baby steps from the back sliding door.
Even worse, was the fact that it was unseasonably cold this weekend and there was NO WAY IN HELL anybody was taking Mazzy in an unheated pool, no matter how much she begged and pleaded.
Going in pools being Mazzy's number one activity of choice.
Adding insult to injury, on Saturday, we went on the South Hampton Garden Tour (our annual family tradition) in which we visited numerous amazing houses, all of which had amazing pools, none of which Mazzy was allowed to swim in.
"No, sweetie, I'm sorry. We can just look at this pool."
Next house.
"Nope. This isn't our pool. Nobody can go in this pool."
Next house.
"No, babe. I'm sorry. We can just look at it."
The next house was a beach front property. Surely, nobody could deny her the ocean, right?
"We can go in HERE?"
"Ummm…. We're not wearing our bathing suits."
"WE CAN GO HOME AND GET OUR BATHING SUITS???"
"Uhhhhh… (Sigh) Yeah. We can go home and get our bathing suits."
Which is how Mike ended up freezing his ass off in an unfenced unheated pool on Father's Day.
And I banged my shin on the coffee table while trying to fetch them both a towel.
Sometimes, the kid is really hard to say "no" to, alright?
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Dang Hamptons! 🙂
If you’re out there on the 4th of July, you can wave accross the bay to us! (We’ll be on the North Fork, in Wine Country)
The South Hampton Garden Tour is a way to torture yourself by viewing how the other half lives in the name of charity.
Since it falls on a Wednesday, I’m confused as to whether July 4th weekend is the weekend before or after the 4th. After, we will be in the Hamptons. Before, we will be visiting friends in Rhode Island.
“WE CAN GO HOME AND GET OUR BATHING SUITS???”
Yep. That’s what you get for having a smart kid who is also extremely cute and who knows how to talk.
Strike three.
You freeze your ass off.
(Or you get your husband to…if you’re really smart and also extremely cute and know how to talk. Good job, Ilana.)
Too cute!
Very nice pools though! I’m insanely jealous. 🙂
We’re gonna be out there Wed-Friday (or maybe Saturday if we feel like it). I’ll send you a wave!
One of our favorite things to do 4th of July is walk down to the beach and watch the various fireworks up and down the coast as designated for the wealthy people in the Hamptons, while we attempt to light sparklers from the 1973… 🙂
Do not ever take that little one past a nudist beach … besides the (probably) less than desireable scenery, you will have lost the “we don’t have our bathing suits” argument forever … 😉
The key to surviving toddlerhood, I’ve discovered, is knowing which battles to fight and which battles to surrender.
There was no way you were winning this one. 😉
(P.S. Don’t you just love their “question” voice? When did they suddenly become little two-way conversationalists???)
Please understand that none of them were mine. I’m just as jealous.
Doomed is what I am. The girl can rationalize and talk her way into anything.
The questions do kill me. They are more like statements that go up at the end. “Then we go in the pool?” “Now we have a cookie?” Her technique is very effective, actually. Like mind control.
She may refuse to put on clothes ever again! Better keep her away.
Is there a pool on the Ipad? That might do the trick.
Poor Mazzy and all the pools! I’m sure you were worn out by the all nos so just had to say yes to the unheated pool. At least dad took the bullet on that one. Guess that makes him good cop though :(. She’s such a cutie!