Dear Gisele,
Hiya, friend! Remember me? Your old pregnancy buddy!
We were pregnant at the same time a couple of years ago (both due with our first in December 2009) and now, here we are— together again in 2012!
So exciting, isn’t it?
I have such fond memories of the two of us easily maintaining perfect little baby bumps and laughing at all the other moms-to-be who let their cravings get the best of them.
What did you call those women again?
Oh, that’s right! “Garbage disposals”! Ha! That was HILARIOUS!
I mean, of course, your weight was kept off due to sheer supermodel-strength will power and mine was kept off due to the inability to keep anything down, but that’s neither here nor there— two peas in a pod, we were!
Anyway, I’m sure this time around will be no different. I mean, you started showing in week three too, right?
Second pregnancies are a BITCH, even for Brazilian supermodels, yes???
And yesterday, when I broke down crying to my husband that my pregnancy wasn’t going to be nearly as pretty this time— that in month four, I had already gained more weight than I had gained in the entire nine months COMBINED last pregnancy, that daily prenatal workouts were not an option when you already have a toddler running around the house, that my boobs looked like the size of giant torpedos and NOT IN A GOOD WAY, that my so-called “pregnancy glow” more closely resembled a teenager who had yet to discover Clearasil— the only thing that made me feel better, was knowing that YOU, Gisele Bundchen, my preggo pal, was most likely having the very same conversation with Tom!
You were, weren’t you?
WEREN’T YOU???????
Whaddayasay, Gisele— let’s get together over hot fudge sundaes and curly fries and way too much salad dressing and talk about how we hate going to the gym!
Let’s put on the maternity wear we wore in month eight, TODAY!
Let’s stop messing around with stretch mark creams and just give in to the fact that— NO AMOUNT OF LOTION is going to save us!!!
Honestly, I can’t think of anyone who I would rather share this special time in my life.
Let me know when you are free!
Your pal,
— Mommy Shorts
Love it! I was very sick during my pregnancy for almost the entire 9months! The first 4months were “yeah, I’m not gaining too much weight, this should be easy to take off”, then I was placed on modified bed rest… 22months after delivery I’m still struggling to take off the last 10+ pounds off my once 115lb frame! Ugh!
My second pregnancy – I was sick on average every month for the first 7 months, including two ugly bouts of stomach virus/ food poisoning. So although I didn’t gain as much weight this time round, I was feeling crap. And I had to run after a toddler, who was ALSO sick along with me the first few months.
SECOND PREGNANCIES SUCK! Well, aside from the miracle of life, it being a blessing etc. Because yes, it is. But hell, it was hard.
no amount of lotion saved me in my 1st pregnancy, I was fated to have stretch marks. I only gained 40lbs. My Mom has them so does my sis and I got a couple in puberty. Well now I have MORE than a couple. Do celebrities even get stretch marks??? They never talk about it. that’s one thing I would like to see on them!
I love seeing supermodels pregnant at the time time as me. It’s like looking in a mirror. A really, really rich funhouse mirror with freakish genes and a boatload of hired help to keep that shit in line.
Sweet.
I take smug pleasure in knowing that I gained less weight than Gisele (27lbs) when we were pregnant together the first time around.
Speaking of which, I’m feeling a little left out of your clique this time around.
Although not enough to get pregnant again.
I will admit to not being sick, but I gained weight like nobody’s business. I wasn’t a pretty, glowing prego, I was like Jaba the Hut, only meaner. I ate so many m&m’s and so much Indian food than I thought I was going to alter his DNA. I did have such bad swelling in my legs that if I was upright for more than 10 minutes I looked like I was baking bread out of my shoes. That was only my first! My second wasn’t much better, with horrific acid reflux, bile duct spasms, and a run of contractions at week 31 that thankfully were able to be stopped. People keep asking me if I’d like more now that the youngest is nearly 3. Hells to the no. I’m so lucky that I have 2 healthy beautiful boys with minimal issues, I sank that ship (tubal) and am about to blow it up with a hysterectomy in Sept.
Yeah, but Gisele has to be married to Tom Brady.
Which probably totally sucks.
Right?
RIGHT?!?
Gisele’s the one that wants to make it against the law to not breastfeed, right? Screw her 😛
OMG. Yes, Gisele is RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. How could it be otherwise?
Hugs and hamburgers, babe. Baby’s hungry, time for a snack.
My second pregnancy sucked ass. I was not aglow with radiance. I was probably dirty and unshowered for about 9 months.
For me, the best part about being pregnant at the same time as Gisele (again!) is that six weeks post partum I’ll get to read about her svelte bikini body when I’m still living it up in my maternity yoga pants. Awesome.
My new doctors gave me a different nausea medication this time around, which, while totally makes it so I can keep food down, also means I am actually eating, thus gaining a LOT more weight. You can’t win, can you?
Ahh, maybe you are just dyslexic this time around and have gotten all of that pesky weight gain over with in the begining instead of the end. Hang in there and remember that however it goes, you guys make great babies. I’m sure the misery is only temporary.
PS. Did I ever send you a copy of “Searching for My Wand”? The character in that didn’t have such a great time the second time around either.
I was sick my entire pregnancy with Mazzy (literally I couldn’t keep anything down and totally lost my appetite) and thus gained very little weight. This time is totally different. I was very sick my first trimester but I seem to have turned a corner. A very pound-inducing corner…
Food poisoning while pregnant must feel godawful. So sorry you went through that! I mean, congratulations on your child!
I didn’t get them the first time around which I think is more due to the fact that my stomach wasn’t that flat to begin with. I am afraid for what is going to happen this time around…
Why oh why couldn’t I be preggo pals with Jessica Simpson?
I gained less as well. I won’t say how much because people tend to hate me— but trust me— nobody wants what I went through. There are longer stories I could tell about how sick I was while pregnant with Mazzy but I’ll let them go.
Suffice to say, this time around will be very different. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that I had already gained more weight than I had my entire first pregnancy.
I told Mike pre-second pregnancy that I could see having a third. NO MORE. I’ve done a complete 180 on that one.
Also, I have a whole post about how I am not cute pregnant. I will not be posting daily photos of my baby bump, that’s for sure.
Yes, totally. Who wants to wake up next to THAT every morning?
Yep. I forget whether it was a for a year or six months. I think she wants to make prenatal kung fu mandatory too.
Licorice or peanut M&M’s? Or perhaps Jimmy Kimmel’s new chocolate covered potato chip ice cream? Not that I pay attention to such things…
Showering! That’s what I forgot to do today!
Everybody told me to take anti-nausea medication my first trimester. I refused. I can’t imagine what I would have looked like now if I’d digested everything successfully!
Yeah- your my preggo pal too!
I’d love to read your book! Send it over! And I like your thinking. I’m gonna spend the next five months status quo!
Can I be a preggo pal too? I’m 14 weeks along with my second!
With my son, I lost about 7 pounds in the first tri, and it took until 20 weeks to get back up to my pre-pregnancy weight. Made up for it in the 3rd trimester and gained 31 total, although getting the flu the week before he was born took off 5, so net was 26 pounds.
This one, I was a size smaller when I got pregnant (although the same weight, thanks to lots of marathon-training muscle) and I’ve lost 10 pounds – the nausea has been relentless and I can’t even be in the same room as a piece of meat. Weird.
People keep asking me what diet I’m on and what workouts I’m doing. It feels kind of weird. I am getting a belly though, and I bought some maternity jeans last week. “Skinny” maternity jeans. I think it is messed up that I couldn’t buy “skinny” jeans until I got pregnant and puked a lot.
It’s all good – I’m one of those people who can’t take off the last 10 lbs of baby weight until they stop breastfeeding, so I should be puffed up something fierce by this time next year!
you know I think you’re beautiful and amazing no matter what right? I threw up the whole time of my pregnancy too, not gaining a pound…and I am sure lots of women hated me, I hated me. But supermodels who don’t gain weight during pregnancy…BITCHES!
xoxo
You are hilarious!!! I’m sure Gisele is going through the same thing!!!! If it’s any consolation, I’m sure her kids aren’t as cute as Mazzy and as cute as your 2nd one’s going to be!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about anal.
Regards
Gisele’s the one that wants to make it against the law to not breastfeed, right? Screw her