Sunday will be my second Mother's Day and it still remains unclear exactly who we are celebrating. I'm under the impression that my husband should be planning something special for me. My mother is under the impression that I should be planning something special for her. And Mazzy isn't old enough to make macaroni necklaces or heart-shaped pancakes or whatever else kids are supposed to do for their mothers once they learn that mommy is a lot nicer when fed and adorned with jewelry.

At the moment it seems like my mother, my sister and I will be taking Mazzy to a children's concert in the East Village. Then we will be meeting the boys for brunch. With so much planned, I'm not sure at what point the doting and adorning and spontaneous foot massages happen, but I'm willing to wait and see.

Did I mention that when Mike heard about the girls-only concert plan, he asked if he could take the day to play golf?

What else happened in the week I stopped speaking to my husband?

• Idiots everywhere got Tinkerbell tramp stamps

• Elmo schooled me in anger management

• The murder of my iPhone made front page news

• Mazzy caught Bieber Fever

• Dr. B dealt with thumb sucking and horrific hair styling

* A bunch of Jews crashed an Easter Egg Hunt

• Mike made the newest member of the Corleone Family an offer he couldn't refuse

• We witnessed the onset of deep dark doggie depression

• Ella gained a Guncle in the first caption contest for charity


• I learned the power of five big ass cupcakes in "The Mother of All Cupcakes" giveaway— you've got till Thursday, May 12th to enter

I'm gonna end with a heartfelt Mother's Day shout-out to every mom reading. Including one Tammy Gielniak from Toddlers & Tiaras— who happens to be the mother of the little girl who's picture I used in my "Hair of the Dog" post. She wrote me to say that her friend had seen the post and forwarded it to her (uh-oh) and that she liked my site and was now a reader(!) Can you honestly get any cooler than that?

Happy Mother's Day, Tammy!

— Mommy Shorts