Above is a picture of Hazy. Or as she prefers to be called, "Madame Hazy of Massachusetts". You might remember her from the time she filed for parental emancipation after a rather unfortunate Christmas present. Clearly, Hazy deserves better. How much better? You decide in the comment section below.
Captions will by judged by the current Caption Contest Queen— JLK of Pieces of Me. JLK was crowned after winning the last caption contest. This week's winner will judge the next one and so on and so forth. May the best caption win!
UPDATE: Queen JLK has spoken and she has declared Emily the winner. Emily's winning caption is everybody's favorite MOMMY DEAREST quote: "I said— NO! WIRE! HANGERS!!!"(I took some liberty with the punctuation just for effect).
In case that scene didn't give you enough nightmares as a kid, here's the clip just so you can relive the horror all over again…
There were a lot of great captions though so JLK & I thought it only fair to give a few more shout-outs. We'll call you all "The Royal Cabinet" if that's ok.
Best Zsa Zsa Reference goes to…
Lori: "Don''t mess with me. I've smacked a cop you know".
Best Anna Wintour Reference goes to…
Kate: "Just to be clear, I didn't steal Anna Wintour's sunglasses and let five leopards die for this coat simply to be served chicken nuggets AGAIN."
Although I also really liked the simple yet deceptively brilliant…
Heather: "Please have Ms. Wintour take all my calls, thank you!"
Best Politically Charged Caption goes to…
Rob: "Yes, it's real cheetah. What am I? A Democrat?"
Most Offensively Awesome Caption goes to:
Clemensa: "Oooh, Leopard fur is sooo soft… not as soft as Panda fur of course."
The Truer Words Were Never Spoken Award Goes To:
Lauren: Fashion Week's runway models are getting younger and younger!
And lastly, Best Surprise Caption from a Celebrity Child goes to:
Apple Paltrow-Martin: "Please consult Contract Clause 351C. I believe it states specifically— NO EYE CONTACT."
But the real congratulations goes to Emily who is currently being crowned the new Caption Contest Queen in a very special ceremony that exists solely in my head.
It doesn't look like Emily has a blog, but if she did, she'd be able to adorn it with the Caption Contest Queen Crown pictured below. Guess she'll just have to settle for the pure unadulterated POWER of being our next judge. Thanks for playing!
“I *am* big, it’s the *pictures* that got small.”
“Do not address me directly. Address my handlers, please.”
“Where is my limo cat?”
I don’t do housework!
“you ain’t got nothing on me baby” said B.O.B. ( then she turns around with sass and walls off with major supermodel swagger!)
Oops should say B.O.B.style…
You go to your closet and you select… I don’t know… that lumpy blue sweater, for instance because you’re trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don’t know is that that sweater is not just blue, it’s not turquoise. It’s not lapis. It’s actually cerulean. And you’re also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent… wasn’t it who showed cerulean military jackets? I think we need a jacket here. Also, Mama, I pooped.
What part of “Get me my fucking Graduates, now!” don’t you understand?
Where are my toddler heels?… What? My feet? You must suffer for beauty!
Darling, run and fetch my keys, I’m off to lunch with Suri.
Yes, it’s real cheetah. What am I? A Democrat?
No, Dah-ling, of course it isn’t real fur….even I can spell PETA!
Excuse me. Where is my red carpet? This is unacceptable.
The Devil Wears Diapers
Look at my ring finger, Charlie. See anything shiny? Me neither. Now out of my way. I have a date.
I am fabulous. I will own you. Bow to me.
Just to be clear, I didn’t steal Anna Wintour’s sunglasses and let five leopards die for this coat simply to be served chicken nuggets AGAIN.
Oh, great story about this coat… I was on safari in Africa back when I was one. We were out in the bush on a hunt with our guide Mchumba and I shot my first wild cat! We skinned it, cut it up and ate Cheetah burgers under the stars that night… it was exhilarating!
Coco Chanel ain’t got nothin’ on my bitches!
I pledge allegiance to the flag, of the United States of America… wait, which side is my heart on? Left or right? Screw it, I’ll shoot the middle… And to the republic for which it stands…
Perhaps you didn’t hear me the first time: MOVE. NOW, before I back hand bitch slap you!
Oooh, Leopard fur is sooo soft… not as soft as Panda fur of course.
I said NO WIRE HANGERS!
“Benjamin, do you find me undesirable? Perhaps it’s my soiled diaper?”
If you think I’m sexy now you should see what I’ve got on under the coat. Can you say “Meeee-yow!?”
Fashion Week’s runway models are getting younger and younger!!
There’s an expression in French: “Elle pete plus haut que son cul.” While it literally translates to, “She farts higher than her butt,” it generally means she’s the snobby, pretentious, nose in the air type. In this case, however, I’m thinking the nose in the air probably is butt-stench-related.
oh. hell. no.
You bore me with your holier than thou attitude. I will wear leopard when I feel like it, eat red meat when I want, buy designer sunglasses if it suits me, and no, I will not start a compost!
I’m ready for my close-up, Mommy DeMille.
Yeah, that’s right. I’m flashing my gang sign. What did you think I was doing during all those naps? Sleeping? No, I was fraternizing.
Don’t mess with me.
I’ve smacked a cop, you know.
“Please consult Contract Clause 351C. I believe it states specifically— NO EYE CONTACT.”
Jeeves, please bring the car around. I’m ready for my 1:30 playdate at Gymboree.
“Please have Ms. Wintour take all my calls, Thank you!”
“Please have Ms. Wintour take my calls. Thank you!”
LOL sorry about the double-post, I didn’t see it and I figured I didn’t hit reply *sheepish smile*