Above is a picture of Hazy. Or as she prefers to be called, "Madame Hazy of Massachusetts". You might remember her from the time she filed for parental emancipation after a rather unfortunate Christmas present. Clearly, Hazy deserves better. How much better? You decide in the comment section below.

Captions will by judged by the current Caption Contest Queen— JLK of Pieces of Me. JLK was crowned after winning the last caption contest. This week's winner will judge the next one and so on and so forth. May the best caption win!

UPDATE: Queen JLK has spoken and she has declared Emily the winner. Emily's winning caption is everybody's favorite MOMMY DEAREST quote: "I said— NO! WIRE! HANGERS!!!"(I took some liberty with the punctuation just for effect).

In case that scene didn't give you enough nightmares as a kid, here's the clip just so you can relive the horror all over again…


There were a lot of great captions though so JLK & I thought it only fair to give a few more shout-outs. We'll call you all "The Royal Cabinet" if that's ok. 

Best Zsa Zsa Reference goes to…

Lori: "Don''t mess with me. I've smacked a cop you know".

Best Anna Wintour Reference goes to…

Kate: "Just to be clear, I didn't steal Anna Wintour's sunglasses and let five leopards die for this coat simply to be served chicken nuggets AGAIN."

Although I also really liked the simple yet deceptively brilliant…

Heather: "Please have Ms. Wintour take all my calls, thank you!"

Best Politically Charged Caption goes to…

Rob: "Yes, it's real cheetah. What am I? A Democrat?"

Most Offensively Awesome Caption goes to:

Clemensa: "Oooh, Leopard fur is sooo soft… not as soft as Panda fur of course."

The Truer Words Were Never Spoken Award Goes To:

Lauren: Fashion Week's runway models are getting younger and younger!

And lastly, Best Surprise Caption from a Celebrity Child goes to:

Apple Paltrow-Martin: "Please consult Contract Clause 351C. I believe it states specifically— NO EYE CONTACT."

But the real congratulations goes to Emily who is currently being crowned the new Caption Contest Queen in a very special ceremony that exists solely in my head.

It doesn't look like Emily has a blog, but if she did, she'd be able to adorn it with the Caption Contest Queen Crown pictured below. Guess she'll just have to settle for the pure unadulterated POWER of being our next judge. Thanks for playing!


If you would like to submit a picture for a caption contest, please send it to myshort@mommyshorts.com.