I thought Mazzy saw Frozen on the late side. I thought that as her fondness for the characters grew, the other kids would have moved on. But, it seems like there is no end to how obsessed a child can be with the newest Disney movie. No one is getting sick of the soundtrack and apparently, a kid can watch the same movie 4000X without getting bored.

Mazzy is four years old and this is her first experience with a Disney princess movie. She doesn't just like Frozen. She has fallen in love with Frozen. And it's not just about her. Frozen has escalated into a life-encompassing entity that consumes not just her, but everybody she knows.

Here are the Seven Stages of a Frozen Obsession (based on my observation only):


Your child sees the Frozen poster around town. Maybe catches the trailer on TV. Calls Frozen the movie with "the funny snowman". Asks to see it.


You take your child to see the movie. She learns it is not a movie about a funny snowman at all. It is a movie about life, love, betrayal, death, magic, royalty, fashion, troll people and most importantly, the two most beautiful sisters who ever lived. 


While playing on her iPad, she stumbles on Frozen videos on YouTube. She starts to watch them repeatedly. One day you come home from work and she suddenly knows all the words to "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" and "Let It Go". You film her singing because it's amazing. This is the first time she's memorized the words to a song that doesn't involve farm animals. In the morning, she asks you to make a braid down the back of her hair like Elsa. When you're finished, she gets mad and says, "NO! IT'S SUPPOSED TO COME DOWN OVER ONE SHOULDER!" You pull the braid over to one side but "IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" You end up starting over and making a diagonal braid from top left to bottom right. She is satisfied. THANK GOD.

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She claims Anna is now her favorite Frozen sister. She asks you to call her "Anna" instead of her real name and gets mad every time you forget. In the morning, she asks you to make two braids on either side of her head "like Anna". She repeats "like Anna" ten times until you say, "I KNOW! LIKE ANNA!!!" On the plus side, she sits still while you do her hair for the first time in her entire life. She comes home from preschool talking about a fight she had with her friend over who was Anna and who was Elsa. "I'M ANNA, RIGHT MOM???" "Yes, dear." She now has the words to "Life is an Open Door" and "Summertime" memorized. You take her to a toy store and tell her she can buy one thing. She selects the Anna and Elsa dolls from when they were kids. She plays with them incessantly, making you take off and put back on their outfits 1000X a day. In the free time you have left, you spend it searching for Elsa's crown. Why couldn't they have nailed to her head???

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You enter a book store and before you even blink, she spots the Frozen books in the kid's section and runs to them at full speed. She wants to buy all the books and you try to explain that it is the same story told at different reading levels. She doesn't care. You end up sitting with her on the floor of the store reading each one in all it's easy-reading abbreviated idiocy. "Elsa and Anna are sisters. Elsa has ice powers. Anna meets Hans. Elsa runs away…" Your daughter is captivated by every word. She asks to read them again. After begging for the adult Elsa and Anna dolls, you end up buying her a set of Frozen miniature figurines. She proceeds to set up the entire city of Arendelle in your living room. Her Sesame Street, Hello Kitty and Olivia figurines all become plebians in Elsa and Anna's kingdom. She arranges them with more care than you have ever put into anything. Your younger daughter runs into the room and grabs Elsa from the middle of the scene. There is screaming and crying. Your oldest tries to offer Hans as a consolation prize. Your youngest isn't stupid. There is more screaming and crying. You must take away all the Frozen figurines until after the little one goes to bed. Your daughter reacts like you just abandoned her in a parking lot and she must eat garbage for survival.



Elsa's doll hair now looks like a rat's nest that might have insects living inside. Your daughter insists you take the hair out of the braid and redo it. Against your better judgement, you comply. You then spend the next five hours brushing the knots out of Elsa's hair while your daughter cries that Elsa is bald. You curse Disney for thinking no child would remove the braid to reveal Elsa doesn't actually have a full head of hair. After six attempts, you finally braid the hair back to your daughter's satisfaction with all bald spots covered. You silently thank Disney for making Anna's hair molded plastic. Your daughter now has the words to "For the First Time in Forever" memorized. Only it's not just the regular "First Time in Forever", it's also the reprise that happens in the ice castle which is half spoken dialogue and she says every word of every character verbatim like it's just part of the song. She makes you tell Frozen-themed stories every night before bed. When you try to get creative and veer off the storyline, she tells you are doing it wrong and makes you stick to the script. You go to a birthday party with Frozen themed cups and all the parents freak out like they are in the presence of rare never-before-seen diamonds. The cake has a picture of Anna and Elsa on it. There is a full-out brawl between the girls over who gets to eat Elsa's head.  


Your husband brings home an illegal copy of Frozen he got from someone at his office. Your daughter reacts like you bought her a pony. She ceases to watch anything but Frozen. She starts taking her Frozen figurines everywhere. To bed, to play dates, to school. She refuses to let them go even when it means she will not be allowed in the bouncy castle at her friend's birthday party. She asks for her hair to be braided to the side and then into a bun like Elsa's on coronation day. You listen to nothing but Frozen Radio in the car. Not only does she know the words to every song including "Fixer Upper", your 16 month old sings and dances to every song as well. When "Let It Go" comes on, your baby prances around with her arms held out like she is Elsa in her ice castle.

Your older daughter gives out character names to everyone she encounters. She has decided that she will be both Anna and Elsa at all times. Everyone else is allowed to be Christoph, Sven or Olaf. At a lunch meeting in Times Square, you are told the Disney Store has just restocked their Anna and Elsa costumes after being sold out for weeks. You walk in because you are right there, having no intention of buying anything. You see Anna's costume but no Elsa. You assume they are sold out. You decide to get Anna's costume even though it is the ugliest princess costume ever. Your daughter will love it. Before paying, the cashier informs you they have Elsa costumes in the back. They keep them there because parents were fighting over them. She asks if you want one. You ask to see it. IT IS BEAUTIFUL. You find yourself grinning ear-to-ear and shouting, "I'LL TAKE IT!" You walk out of the Disney Store, humming "Love is an Open Door" with over $100 of Frozen costumes in a bag without any special occasion on which to give them. You aren't even with your daughter and she didn't even ask for them.

You have bought into it. Your daughter's obsession has become your own.

You are Frozen. Frozen is you. Don't fight it.