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In a million years, I never would have guessed one day I would welcome Jerry Springer into my home to make crafts with my daughter at my dining room table.

But there we were.

Surreal, doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Jerry Springer started out by apologizing for his show which was nice because then I didn’t have to ask.


I also didn’t ask for a refund for “Jerry Springer: The Musical”, something I actually paid to see in London about ten years ago. Even as a parody, it was HORRIBLE (and not in the “so bad, it’s good” way)— but I don’t believe Jerry actually had anything to do with it.

(I say “actually” a lot, I’m realizing. Hmmmm. Need to come up with an alternative word choice…)


Originally, I wanted to do a whole “Who’s Your Daddy?” segment where I test Mazzy and Harlow’s DNA to make sure they are really Mike’s kids.

Then when Mike found out Harlow’s dad is really my brother-in-law’s second cousin’s dry celaner, he’d throw a chair at me and Jerry would have to call security to break it up.

But no, Jerry informed me that paternity tests were really more of a Montel/Maury thing.

(BTW, “really” is the new “actually”.)


Instead Jerry makes toilet paper roll snakes, tries to set up Mazzy with his grandson and plays a game called “Nursery Rhyme Origin or Jerry Springer Episode?” (which will hopefully make sense when you see it).

I wanted to make Jerry fold my dirty laundry, because— HELLO! Jerry Springer airs my dirty laundry!! HOW CLEVER!!! But alas, we did not have time.


Overall, Jerry was way more awesome than I was expecting. I thought he would be awesome just for the sheer ridiculousness of it all, but turns out, he is really lovely and a devoted Grandpa. At one point, Mazzy and him were standing in the hallway waiting for the filming to start and he was singing her songs to entertain her. It was really sweet.

Check out the episode below and please come back to tell me what you think.

One more thing: Whoever told me that her dad was best friends with Jerry growing up (I can’t remember your name now), I told him about your comment (I remembered your name then) and he got a huge kick out of it.