Dear Mazzy and Harlow,
One day, you will read this blog from start to finish, I am sure. You'll read through potty training trials and travel nightmares and exhausted mommy moments and then, at some point, you will arrive here.
On Valentine's Day 2014.
I don't know what your opinion is of what you've read so far. Whether you think it's great to have so much of your childhood documented or you're beyond pissed that I shared so much.
So maybe now would be a good time to explain myself.
When I started this blog, I did not know what it would become. I wanted a place to write about being a mom and brag about my babies, in a way that wouldn't annoy my friends on facebook.
That's the truth.
I say "babies" because when you first have a child, you never imagine your tiny newborn being a walking talking toddler, much less whatever age you both are now. The first year of your first baby passes like molasses. I remember receiving clothes for nine months old and putting them in storage, as if we wouldn't use them for years.
Back then, I was writing for a very small audience. Your dad, Grammy, a handful of friends. I never thought about you caring about what I post here. Or that one day, you would both read it and weigh in.
Now, I think about your future opinions of my blog all the time.
My friends tell me that my love for my children is evident in every word, whether I am writing about a good day or a bad.
More than anything, I hope you guys see that too.
I hope you read my stories and imagine yourselves clearly in each one. Because they really happened. And I tried to paint as close a picture to who you both were at every stage.
I hope you understand that every time I bothered you for a picture or a video, I did it because I saw something in that moment that I wanted to remember. And by recording it, I knew you would get to see it too.
I hope you realize that writing about our life has helped me be a better mom. It makes me see the harder parts of parenting with humor. And having an audience helps me realize my hardships aren't mine alone.
I hope in fifteen years, you watch the Mommy Show and think how wonderful it is to have these videos of that time in our lives. How ridiculous that all these random people came to our apartment to participate. How fun that you got to sit on a couch with Julianne Moore, have a staring contest with Idina Menzel and do an arts & crafts project with Taye Diggs.
I joke around about using you both for blog fodder. But in truth, you two are my world, so it seems fitting that my career and my family should be entertwined. Even when I'm working, I can spend most of my time thinking about the two of you. Posting pictures from our morning, remembering funny quotes you said the day before. What mother wouldn't consider themselves lucky to have that luxury?
In the end, I hope I don't embarrass you. I hope the blog is never used against you. I hope it brings you only opportunities and good things.
If I'm really lucky, maybe you'll love what I've created. Maybe you won't just see the blog as mine, you'll see it as yours too.
But even if you don't appreciate what I've shared, please know I love you both more than you can possibly imagine. Until you have your own kids and want to brag about them to the world too.
My Dear Mazzy and My Darling Harlow. You are my valentines.
Now and forever.