I remember the first time someone called their kids assholes in my comment section. It was funny in context but it also made me cringe a bit.
Of course, back then I had an innocent little baby.
It's a lot easier to associate the hole in my ass with a two or three-year-old, especially when I am still wiping hers on a regular basis. While she is screaming for snacks, mind you.
I still never use the word when writing about my girls, but I do appreciate that some parents do. They help me feel like I'm not alone in those moments when I want to lock my kids in the closet so I can reclaim free reign of my house.
We all have those moments, right? Even the moms who teach their kids how to macrame their own Halloween costumes while simultaneously planning their next bento box lunch?
Those moms must REALLY go off the deep end when their kids piss them off…
WHAT??!!! YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT YOUR DINNER??? BUT I JUST SPENT FIVE HOURS ARRANGING YOUR KALE COMPOTE INTO THE SHAPE OF A DINOSAUR!!! AND THE ALMOND ENCRUSTED CHICKEN IS SITTING ON THE SEATS OF A MINIATURE FERRIS WHEEL WITH ACTUAL MECHICANICAL MOVING PARTS!!!!! YOU UNGRATEFUL, LITTLE FUCKER!!!!!!
Love her or loathe her, Baby Sideburns is a mom who tells it like it is. I'm also pretty positive she has never baked "I love you" notes into a batch of cupcakes or fashioned a vegetable into the shape of a bicycle. But she'll be the first to tell you, that doesn't mean she loves her kids any less.
If you don't know Baby Sideburns, she's the outrageously funny Karen Alpert and she's got the most hardcore bunch of facebook fans who will defend her sense of humor to the death.
In her new book, "I Heart My Little A-Holes
It's true. One time I took Harlow on a plane and she was great and it was super easy and I was like— well, what the hell am I gonna blog about NOW???
Karen talks about tons of taboo topics, none of which I ever touch upon in my blog. She opens with a chapter about her vagina, for godsakes.
SPOILER ALERT: She closes with one too.
In the middle, Karen doesn't sugarcoat parenthood. If anything, she strips parenthood of every bit of sweetness so that you expect the absolute worst and then are pleasantly surprised when your kids bring you a tiny bit of happiness.
Did I say "tiny bit of happiness"? I meant "mountain of joy", obviously.
I remember when I was pregnant with Harlow and we went out to dinner with a couple that had their second kid a few months prior.
"Be honest," I said. "How hard is it going from one to two?"
"It's fucking hell," she said.
Her husband nodded vigorously while my husband looked like he was about to pass out.
That was a scary moment. But we needed to hear it and it prepared us for what we were about to go through.
It WAS fucking hell. But it was also amazing. And blah blah blah I wouldn't have it any other way.
Everybody needs a Baby Sideburns in their life. A fellow mother who won't just be honest, but will make you laugh your ass off while you weep with relief that someone just shared a truth that nobody else dared to acknowledge. She'll probably also make you feel like a pretty decent mom in comparison.
But that's the beauty of Karen Alpert. I bet she's an awesome mom.
When she met Harlow, she looked like she might run away with her so she could have the amazingly awesome opportunity of raising…
ONE MORE LITTLE A-HOLE.
————————————-
"I Heart My Little A-Holes
You just have to do two things to enter.
1) Be a Mommy Shorts fan on facebook.
2) Complete this sentence: My kids is a little a-hole because…
FYI- If you can't answer the question, you should probably stay away from the book.
Winner will be announced on Friday, October 25th.
UPDATE: Congratulations to Kerry! FYI- Kerry's kid is an a-hole because she doesn't flush her poops. "One day there was a poop in every toilet. I don't even know how she was able to create that much! When I find one I'll ask if it's hers and she tells me 'no, Daddy left it' haha!"
A-hole, indeed. Please email me at ilana@mommyshorts.com to claim your prize!
My kid is an a-hole because, well, as much as I don’t want to admit it, sometimes he outsmarts me with his creative ways of getting around/out of things. He’s 2. I made you! I taught you these evil tricks, and you outdo me? Well done kiddo, well done 🙂
My kids are little aholes because my 5 year old is convinced I know nothing (suspected I had a few more years before she came to that conclusion), and my 20 month old doesn’t like any sweets! I mean, hello, there must have been a baby switch at the hospital!
I love my little a-hole because life would just be way too easy and boring without him. (And Baby Sideburns)
hahahah yes! my 7 year old insists on carrying his 7 month old sister around. then continues to tell me he’s “got this”.
My 7 year old is a little a-hole because when I tell him to pick up his toys he says”why? Isn’t that what you do?” No… you have functioning legs you do it.
My kid is a little asshole because at 7 yrs old, she just threw a tranobal size meltdown, emptied half her room down the stairs and told me how much she hates me- because the stuffies fell out of the stuffy holder when she was putting them away. I mean seriously- that’s my fault- and wtf, why did it have to last 6 hours?
My two year old is a little a-hole because absolutely everything I ask her I get a loud NO! With finger point and all… Except when I ask her do you know any other words then she’s like uh yes! Like I’m being dumb?!
My kid is a little a-hole because he’ll get up once a night, come sniffling into our room, and when I get up to attend to him (even though I probably was already up an hour ago attending to the baby), he’ll scream (waking the baby) “I don’t want you!!!!” “GO away!!!” Fine, whatever, I didn’t want to help you anyway.
My kid is a little a-hole bc she took 3 hours to finally take a nap today. Seriously. WTF
My son is a little a-hole because he likes to choke his sister if he doesn’t get his way or just shoves her to say “good morning”. He’s 20 months, she’s 3 yrs old. He’s a fucking jerk.
Grrr…. My son does this same damn thing! And the little a-hole will smile at me while he is doing it!!!
…he’s got a twin and they always outnumber me.
My (then) 3 year old is an ahole because she completely stripped down naked in line waiting to get on an airplane because her daddy wouldn’t give her her boarding pass to give to the lady to scan. No wonder the seat next to me was the last one to be taken on the sold out flight.
I’m still scanning You Tube to ensure no one video taped it. It would be a good view for her future husband.
My 3 year old daughter is an a-hole. After arguing with her to get dressed for bed, she will come running into the living room yelling “NAKED GENEVIEVE!”, of course, stark naked, for everyone in the house to see.
My kid’s an a-hole because when she plays kitchen and offers you baked goods, there usually is a chocolate flavor, vanilla flavor and poison. I have to sleep with one eye open now!
My kids are aholes because… because they’ve taken away my privacy, my social life, my perky butt and boobs in exchange for snuggles and kisses and a love I’ve never experienced before. Manipulative little shits.
my potty-trained 2 1/2 year old is a little a-hole because while she was in the playroom at the gym (while I was busy trying to lose the fat ass that I acquired bringing her into this world), she decided to poop in her pants. And not the kind you can dump out…the kind that she smooshed into her underwear, tights and skirt, causing not only a GOD AWFUL smell, but also causing me to have to give her a bathroom soap/paper towel whore bath in the bathroom stall, then steal the bag from the garbage can to get the poopy pants out the door. She’s an a-hole, not because it was an accident…oh no. She didn’t want the kid playing with her to “steal her Dora toy while she went to the bathroom.” That’s the queen of a-hole-ism right there.
My kids a little a-hole because he refuses to keep a diaper on and insist of putting his man goods on my face every chance he gets!
My kids are little a-holes because they are boys and are 12 & 14… can you say Attitudes with a side helping of A-holiness??
My kids are a-holes because they have no inside voices and insist on SCREAMING all the time…except when telling me something important. Then they whisper, especially if it’s somewhere loud or we’re in the car so the seat blocks the sound.
My kids a little A-Hole because I don’t have time for pedicures anymore.
My kid is a little a-hole because she comes into our room at 2am with her creepy red hair and her creepy silent kid stare and scares the shit out of me and my husband!
My daughter is a little a-hole because while pregnant with #2 I was put on bed rest and home alone with her one day while dad was at work. She was quiet and I thought coloring me a pretty picture. Wrong. She was coloring her ENTIRE BODY to look like a clown. Because she knows I hate clowns and wanted to try to scare the baby out. She was 6.5 years old.
My kids is a little a-hole because he falls asleep for 5 minutes in the car, thinks he slept for hours and won’t take a nap and give me a break!
Loves throwing her food all over the floor to ” share” with the dogs
My 4-year old is an a-hole because she starts every sentence with “mama, I have to tell you something…” then usually finishes it with telling me how I have done something wrong! “Mama, I have to tell you something. I don’t think you know where you’re going.” No? I have only driven you to preschool every day for the past 2 years! I think I am going the right way!!!
My kid is an A-hole because instead of walking the 5 feet to the bathroom, she would rather pee on the carpet. In my living room. Daily. And she laughs like a maniac while doing so.. Put a diaper on her instead? She will rip it off and pee on my carpet and laugh like a maniac…..
My kids are little a-holes because they inherited my impatientience, my stubborness, my perfectionism, my quick temper, my delight in the hilarity of bodily functions and my penchant for dirty words at the wrong times. All of which are often utilized in combination.
However, they luckily inherited kindness, caring, compassion, empathy, friendly and outgoing natures — which sometimes makes up for the above. And somehow they ended up so f-ing cute that the above are often forgiven 🙂
My kid is a little a-hole because he traced every single grout line in my kitchen floor with a green crayon.
Love Baby Sideburns! Laugh out loud funny!
My kids are little a-holes because, no matter what we do, they WILL NOT stay in bed until 6 AM. Is that really too much to ask?
My kid is a Little A-Hole because: He will throw a raging shit-fit to watch Wreck it Ralph like 1000x a day! When I finally cave and turn it on his attention is anywhere But on the movie! God forbid I should try to turn it off…he somehow transforms from my sweet 4yr old boy into a raging lunatic!!
My kids are little a-holes because they happily demolish second helpings of food at daycare (like vegetables) that at home when we make them they either won’t put anywhere near their mouths or dramatically spit them out while expressing their disgust!
My toddler is a little a-hole because he likes to hold his drinks in his mouth (cheeks puffed out) and dribble it into MY food or cup (repeatedly), even when his food is right there for him to be-foul. Punk.
My kids are little a-holes because they never listen I tell them the same things over and over and they still continue to do everything I have told them not to do. Some examples are: let the bath water out when your done taking a bath, brush your teeth, stop touching every wall, door, window, or piece a furniture you see, throw your trash away, put your seat belt on, take your shoes off at the door, hang your coat and back pack up, stay in the kitchen with food, put stuff back where you got it. I am like a broken record and say the same things every single day. Also the whining is enough to drive you nuts. I forgot to mention they are always I mean ALWAYS hungry or thirsty! I have two 6 yr olds and a 8 yr old.
My kid is a little a-hole because… she’s 15. It’s basically her job. But she is AWESOME!
My kid is an a-hole when he won’t decide what to wear but is unhappy with what I choose for him. Seriously glaciers pass us while we sit in front of his dresser picking out a shirt. Now whether or not he will put it on or allow me to put it on is another story. Then we do it all over again with the pants, socks, shoes, jacket, brushing teeth. Ugh!
My kids are little A-holes because….well they just are! Lol
My 4 year old is an a-hole because she just put on her new sparkly holiday dress and proceeded to wipe her nose snot all over the sleeve – while then eating the kleenex she should have used to wipe her nose; my 6 year old is an a-hole because we spent all day in the ER scared to death he had a seizure (actually I’m the a-hole for calling him an a-hole today). The heart ache that comes with loving these two so much is killing me.
My daughter is a little a-hole because she was 10 lbs 10 oz at birth and my vagina hasn’t been the same ever since. What’s worse is I thought she was going to be a chubby kid but it seems that the older she’s getting, the skinnier she’s getting while I still can’t lose the baby weight. BTW she’s 2. So I’m the chubby one and I pee every time I laugh, sneeze or even walk all because of my little a-hole 😉
My kid is a little a-hole because no matter how much he likes his meal it ends up with him smirking while throwing it on the floor, my husband wiggling out and putting him in time out and me, as always, cleaning it all up. But, honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂
…because they have yet to figure out that they really aren’t the center of the universe and sometimes what they want will have to wait! I LOVE BS on FB! 🙂
My kid is a little a-hole because my 3.5 year old will poop and not flush it. One day there was a poop in every toilet. I don’t even know how she was able to create that much! When I find one I’ll ask if it’s hers and she tells me “no, Daddy left it” haha!
My kids are little a-holes because… one is slower than molasses in January only when I’m in a hurry and the other is a spasmodic nutjob that jumps off sofas and screams a devil shriek every time the slightest thing displeases him – and he’s 3, so EVERYTHING displeases him.
My kid is a little a-hole because he is EXACTLY like me. raising a kid who acts just like me and punishing him for it is the hardest thing I have ever done.
My kids are Aholes becase the minute I dit down they are yelling “mom” for something.
*sit
My middle child is a little A-hole because she refuses to wear socks and shoes, despite the fact that it is 40 degrees and there may or may not be frost on the ground here in Wisconsin. She also refuses to wear jeans, undershirts, long sleeve shirts, boots, jackets, mittens, hats or anything that will cover more than 38.5 % of her body at once. She makes other moms look at me and say, “I can’t believe her mother let her leave the house that way…it’s 40 degrees out here.” She is only 3.5 and I am already dreading the teen years with my little middle A-hole!
My kid is a little a-hole because s/he keeps getting me hot, cold, hungry, peeing, etc. and can’t friggin’ make up it’s mind. (I’m pregnant).
My kids are little a-holes because, I will spend a large amount of time preparing their dinner and they will either smear it on the counters or throw it at the dogs. My youngest also likes to have the largest attitude I have ever seen a child have.
My kid is a little a-hole because he has discovered sarcasm and is using it like a pro to act like a little a-hole! Ugh!
Well, since I’m pregnant with my first, I’d have to say the only thing I can pin on this little a-hole so far is making me fat, tired, and uncomfortable on a daily basis. But I’m sure I’m in for it, as my husband is a huge a-hole. 😀
my child is an A-hole because. ..oh lord, where to start, who to start with. 7 yr old who used to poop in bath, takes a week of fights to clean her room, 5 min after we have to leave house for work is still looking for perfect outfit:3 yr old who screams so loud when I drop her off at day care, won’t stop sleeping in my bed and takes whole damn thing over, who will lay on bathtub floor and not move while screaming during shower time and has major meltdown at busy amusement park to the one year old, pulling me by shirt and bra in front of people and learned how to scream NO at simplest things.
my kids are A-holes because they suck out all remains of sanity I have left.
My children are a-holes at 15 and 19 YEARS old because I am (still) never, ever, never right. About anything. In fact, if they were to read this right now, they would tell me that I’m wrong because just this morning I was right when I said it would snow….and you can be sure at the exact moment I announced it this morning they said I heard that wrong. Sigh. When do they out grow that?
My kid is a little a-hole because… she is 12 weeks old, she sleeps 12 hours every night uninterrupted, she always has a sunny disposition, I can take her places… So, WHY do you ask, is she a little a-hole? Because she is going to make us delusion enough to rope us into having a second. And THAT one, I know, will be the antichrist.
PS – the 25th is my 5 year anniversary with my husband, so wouldn’t that free copy be a nice gift 😉
My kids is a little a-hole because…she likes to wake me up at 6am to let me know she is up and then proceeds to go back to sleep while I can not. She is then late and not ready to go to school making me late. She then smiles like an angel and says “I love you, Mama!”
My kid is an a-hole because he throws such high-pitched, screaming, loud, violent tantrums that we LITERALLY were kicked out of Japan. Then we got back to the states, at a specially chosen Navy base that has excellent medical care and guess what? Not. One. Tantrum. Since. Love him lots though.
My kids are little a – holes because nobody prepared me that two are three times harder than one. That getting both children out of the car at the mart was going to be mission impossible and that breast feeding would honestly be the worse , most painful thing I ever did and that me and husband would have to rush. “Alone time ” until these little a-holes move out. Here’s to the next 18+ years!
My kid is an ahole because she thinks by hiding her piss soaked underwear under the bed, couch, dresser, etc. that I won’t find them months later!!!!! (and YES IT SMELLS) filled with the lovely cat liter amonia like scent for me to discover…and when I say discover I mean I put that shit right up to my nose and take a big wif to see if they are clean or not (don’t judge! every mom does it)….
My kid is a little a-hole because even STILL at 9 months, she always seems to shit RIGHT as I’m wiping her butt… All over my hand… In the crevices of my wedding rings… Underneath my fingernails… ALL. OVER. I know she does it on purpose, but that’s okay, wait til I’m old and she has to wipe my ass… Oh just you wait little one.
Lol, I’d have to say because he always slaps you or pulls your hair after he hugs or kisses you. I have fond dreams about the day he stops doing that.
My 4 year old is an a-hole because she is exactly like her mama, I should know better than to expect anything else 🙂 . My 3 year old is an a-hole because she knows exactly everything to push her big sister’s buttons, and can’t resist doing it several times a day. The 1 year old is an a-hole because I can put food in front of him and he refuses it, but if I am eating the EXACT same thing he needs to devour it. I love them all to pieces.
My kid is a little a-hole because every time we get in the car he has to pee, and it’s always an “emergency.” And yesterday when he was attempting to pee in one of the many bottles we keep in the car for said “emergencies” he managed to piss all over his clothes, booster seat, and the back seat of my car. Now my SUV smells like an interstate truck stop even though I sprayed and scrubbed as much as I could.
My kid is a little a-hole because she knows she is so cute she can get away with bloody murder…. and she is THREE. THREE for god-sake….. oh damn i’m doomed.. i NEED this book so i can lock myself in the bathroom and heart my lil a-hole from a distance.. but only for a short period of time of course.. oh i mean.. shes perfect and never does ANY wrong. hahahahaha i couldn’t even typed straight faced!!!!
oh my god i about died laughing!! oh the times i’ve damn near passed out for very similar reasons!!!
My kid is an a-hole because at 17 he is 6’3″ tall and still growing and while teen boys grow all of their energy goes into the growing and their brains turn off. Its like a 2 yo all over again can’t give them a two-part task and expect it to get done.
My kid’s a little a hole because she is just like me. God knows we don’t need another one of me trying to figure shit out while just screwing up.
My kid is a little a-hole because he will look at me, knowing he is not supposed to do it, and throw food off of his high chair onto the floor.
My kids are little a-holes because they are constantly telling me ‘it’s not fair!’ So and so got this treat, and I didn’t! He gets to play on the computer whenever he wants! Ugh! I really want to respond: “You’re right! LIFE is not fair, little a-hole!” But I don’t, because I love them
Because my 5 year old has all the energy in the world until its time to brush her teeth (or pick up her toys) before bed…..so she starts whining loudly about how tired she is while I am trying to get her 5 month old sister to sleep.
…she looks and acts a hell of a lot like her Daddy. I did all the work with the whole growing and birthing her thing and she takes after him? Pppfft. Whatever.
My son is a little a hole because he holds his poop in and then when he finally does drop a deuce it is right before bed and it clogs up the toilet so the next time I go to the bathroom (around 3 am) the toilet overflows.
My son is a little a-hole because he thinks slamming the gate in my poor husbands junk is the cats ass!!!
My kid is a little a-hole because about the time I start getting dinner ready she insists on being held non-stop, then she gets cranky and whiny because she’s hungry and dinner isn’t ready.
My kid is a little a-hole because my first was an angelic little boy who made me think parenthood would be sunshine and rainbow unicorn poop, then my second little a-hole accidentally appeared and became the holy terror that makes me wish I hadn’t ever had sex again–she’s the kind of 17-month-old who poops, then immediately and deliberately takes her diaper off to stomp in it with a grin on her face–because she demands so much of my time that I don’t get to enjoy my good child. Ain’t that irony.
My kids a little A-hole for several reasons…one being that she finds it oddly enjoyable to smear her poop ALL OVER her crib and proclaim with delight “I halla <--(had a) party mommy!" The second reason is because of the multiple incident reports in which SHE is always the "incident". "Penny Bit a kid, pushed a kid, took a toy brick away from a kid to hit another kid with, etc..." I think you get the picture, it's fair to call her an A-hole 😉
My kids are a-holes because nothing is ever good enough. I swear if I hear “is that all?!” One more time, I. Ah write a book too!! Aaahhhh!!!!
My kids is a little a-hole because, well to be honest I’m sure it’s because I am their mother and I’ve been known to be a pretty big asshole from time to time. Love them though, even when I lock myself in the bathroom to cry from pure exhaustion and frustration.
I think we have the same a-hole children!
My 10 and 12 year olds are a-holes because they will walk past their shit 15 thousand times without picking it up and then act like they are Cinder-F-in-Ella if I tell them to pick it up. Can I get an AMEN if your child has ever uttered, “I have to do EVERYTHING around here!”
My kid is a little a hole because as soon as I get out of the shower and trying to dry off he likes to run is freddy crouger (don’t think I spelled that right) nails down my legs and proceeds to laugh about it ouch!! At least his smile is adorable 🙂
My daughter is a little a-hole because she threw away a new pair of shoes and I didn’t realize it until a whole days worth of garbage had piled on them. When I couldn’t find them anywhere I asked her if she put them in the trash. She lied, right to my face. My husband checked anyway and there they were. Thankfully they’re washable!!
My kid is a little a-hole because when she doesn’t like what I packed her for lunch she conveniently “loses” her lunch box. Then I am called by the school to inform me that my child has no lunch and no money in her lunch account (because I send her with lunch every day…..) and I need to do something about it in the next 10 min. when lunch will be over. Luckily I only live 5 mins away but it isn’t like her lunch time is in the middle of her little brother’s nap time or anything…..Oh, wait. This has happened twice.
My kids an A-hole because…every night he gets up from the dinner table, after eating NOTHING and asks for his snack. Then does he go to bed? Hell no because he won’t do that until e’s had TWO MORE snacks, and been tucked in, TWICE because he’s gone to the bathroom in between. Oh, then you have to move the chair from in front of the nightlight, and close the curtains, and kiss him etc.
I love my little a hole because he uses my words against me “DON”T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!!”
My kid is a little A-hole because at 6 he thinks I should wipe his ass so he doesn’t get poop on his hand and because “it’s my job”. Apparently my hands, that prepare his dinner, aren’t as important as his.
My kid is an a-hole because she likes to pants me every night while I make her a healthy dinner. She’s only one … but still.
My kid is a little a-hole b/c she wakes up every morning in her crib and *SHRIEKS* at the top of her lungs until someone comes and gets her. The other is a little a-hole b/c she follows me around all day going “Mommy…mommy…mommmy…mom-my…mommy…”.
My kids are little a-holes because they flooded the whole basement while I was away at a conference.
My kids a little a-hole because he calls me out when I say bad words like “stupid” or “butt”. Thanks school system for teaching my kids that those words are “bad”….grrrr!
My kid is a little a-hole because…she uses the potty perfectly at preschool but refuses to use the potty at home.
My little a-hole will wake up her baby brother @ 3am when we won’t get up with her to play.
My kid is a little asshole because after refusing to eat his dinner, he then climbs on the table, eats off of MY effing plate, then sticks his finger down his throat, regurgitates his meal and spits it in my face. Several times a week.
My kid is a little a hole because he waits for my Husband and myself to have our hands full (literally) with his newborn twin brothers to try and open doors and run outside thus making one of us run after him baby in hand.
My 21 month old is a little a-hole because he loves to throw things… At faces! Last week I sported a knot from a wooden Thomas, this week my 5 year old has one from a hot wheels car!
Oh God, am I the only person who actually called their kid an asshole over an a-hole?! Now I feel like the real a-hole.
My youngest was 10lbs 10oz and I had him natural as well! I literally had no bladder control for the first month and was convinced I’d be wearing depends for the rest of my life!!! (I was 28!) lol
My kids a little a-hole because he colored my carpet a Barney shade of purple!!!
my kid is an a-hole…. the 3 yr old, an hour after we put her in bed and were downstairs watching tv, just took a bunch of toys in bathroom and dumped a whole thing of baby powder all over bathroom and everything. I took a picture but can’t figure out how to put in this post
Oh my goodness, this will be longer than my Channulah list!
My kid is a little A-hole because…
When I took away her crayons for coloring on the walls and put them on top of the fridge, they fell off and hit me HARD on the head. My little darling said, “I’ll help you clean them up, Mommy” and proceeded to color the kitchen floor with her other hand behind her back while I thought she was putting them away! THEN, as “revenge” (are two year olds really that spiteful?! Mine is!!!) she painted herself, my bed, my cell phone, and my flat screen television with waterproof mascara not once, Not Twice, but THREE TIMES in the middle of the night!
Next, when I locked up the mascara, she did the same (on seperate occasions mind you) with vapor cream, butt paste, anti-bacterial soap, shampoo, toothpaste—honestly the list goes on and on.
Now you probably think I am a horrible mom, but she can do this at 2AM in complete darkness without making a SOUND!!! She is like a toddler ninja or something!
I thought everything goopy was now secure thanks to my industrial-strength locking straps and high-up hiding spots….
…Until she realized that she could just carry a chair anywhere in the house!!! I will leave the rest to your imagination, but it includes three canisters of un-used baby formula, the dirt from a cactus plant, etc.
my three lovely ladies are a-holes because the 3yr old poops in movies cases and hides them in her toy box, the 7 yr old eats everything i mean everything , thanks cows for giving her that idea, the 8 yrs old because she shoves her food under the table cloth , table , sink you name it. But i love them soo much 🙂