If you are Jewish, live in NYC and don't have a tree, Christmas is something to be experienced outdoors. The first thing we did this holiday weekend was take Mazzy to see the Christmas windows at Macy's, Lord & Taylor's and Sak's Fifth Avenue.

Now. I am all for "abstract". But when it comes to getting a Jewish two-year-old to understand and appreciate Christmas, Macy's and Sak's did me no favors.

Macy's Christmas windows depicted weird white marionette fairies playing white instruments amongst various wheels and gears. 


And Sak's Christmas windows featured— get this— weird white people playing white instruments amongst various wheels and gears.


If it wasn't for the lovely windows at Lord & Taylor's (see below) which depicted toddler-friendly digestible holiday scenes like present wrapping, reindeer flying and snowman building, Mazzy's interpretation of Christmas would have been the celebration of couture-laden albinos working in musical factories.


Also not helping Mazzy's understanding of Christmas was the fact that I didn't take her to sit on Santa's lap this year. You see, Mike was chauffeuring us around by car and sitting illegally parked while he waited for our prompt return at each department store. Something about exorbitant parking prices in midtown Manhattan around the holidays. So standing on line at Macy's for several hours, fielding "What's taking you so long?" texts, was most decidedly out.

Mazzy doesn't know Santa is something to be missed anyway— she currently refers to him as "the man" whenever she sees his picture. We correct her but "the man" seems to have stuck. (Kinda gives a whole new appreciation for sayings like "stick it to the man" and "the man is keeping me down". I hope Mazzy doesn't get confused when she's older and think that Santa is some sort of oppressive figure responsible for big government and corporate America.)

Mazzy didn't go home completely photo-less though because there was someone else that made a special Christmas appearance right outside of Macy's with no line whatsoever.


Yep. That's illegal Elmo with his fake furry paws around my baby. (All licensed characters in the streets of NYC are unsanctioned and subject to imprisionment or fines if the NYPD decides to crack down— I found this out when innocently trying to procure an Elmo costume for Mazzy's 2nd birthday.)

Mazzy running into her beloved lifelong friend could have been a beautiful holiday moment, but I totally ruined it by giving her a dollar to put in his stocking (he's there for the money, after all).

Now every time someone mentions Elmo, Mazzy says, "Put a dollar in the bag".

It's a little like a Christian kid finding out Santa isn't real, right?


Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a happy holiday weekend!