You know how Presidents go grey during their first year in office? That was me during the Evil Baby Glare-Off. I aged about ten years last week. My complexion is duller, my hair looks lifeless and on Sunday I could not keep my eyes open for more than ten minutes at a time.
THIS WAS DRAINING EXHAUSTING WORK.
Anyway, it is officially over. THANK GOD. It came down to Chelsea, an 18 month old with a sticker on her cheek and a 7 day old infant named Lucie. They both bested 30 other contestants and THE FINALS were nail-bitingly close. The winner won 53% to 47%.
Ready to find out which kid won the Evil Baby Glare-Off? Check out the results in the video below.
Now. What were the mothers of the evil babies competing for? What could possibly persuade them to harass all of their family and friends for votes every day for an entire week? Was it ONE MILLION DOLLARS??? Nope. Even better.
The winner will receive a framed poster of the completed tournament bracket:
Their choice of Evil Baby Glare-Off Onesie:
And a customized Superhero cape and crown from Babypop:
Third and fourth place get their choice of Mommy Shorts mug and a signed masterpiece from my husband Mike. (Please let me know what you would like him to draw. I suggest something complicated like a circle.)
PRIZE: Personalized Stroller Blanket from Butterscotch Blankees
QUESTION: Who do you predict will make it into the final four?
WINNER: Nobody guessed the final four but I decided to give it to Tracy A. because she was the closest. The only evil baby she underestimated was little Lotte.
PRIZE: Box 4 Blox Lego Storage
QUESTION: Help me come up with more 'evil baby questions'. Favorite answer wins.
WINNER: I'm giving it to "Which baby's first words were 'F**K OFF?" from Sara. Mainly because that was the only question one of the mothers had me remove.
PRIZE: Any item from North American Bear Co. worth $30 or less, three winners
QUESTION: What song should I use for the Evil Baby Glare-Off closing video?
WINNER: The first winner is Kevin for his suggestion: Battle of Honor or Humanity from Kill Bill. That is the song I actually ended up using in the video above. The other two winners were selected at random and they are Cheryl S (who suggested Barney's "I Love You, You Love Me" for ultimate juxtaposition) and Kelly K (who suggested "Am I Evil?" by Metallica).
PRIZE: $200 Family Photo Session with NYC photographer Jenny Sherouse
QUESTION: Who are you most surprised didn't make it this far?
WINNER: This one goes to Leanne (one of the NYC entrants chosen at random) who was really surprised that both Mikey and Miles didn't make it to the end.
PRIZE: Colossal Cupcake from Crumbs Bakeshop
QUESTION: What contest should I do next?
WINNER: I'm giving this to Beth L who suggested a Birthday Cake Smash Photo Contest. If you watched the video above, you know that one is already in the works. In fact, Crumbs has already agreed to sponsor the contest and I will be holding it in honor of Mazzy's 2nd birthday on December 9th.
Everybody ready for the CRUMBS COLOSSAL CAKESMASH SMACKDOWN? Start uploading pics on the wall of the Mommy Shorts Facebook Fanpage.
Speaking of which, if you have any funny pictures of your kid, no matter what the theme, please upload them on the fanpage wall. I am going to start categorizing them in albums for use in future posts.
For instance, Lucie's mom sent me a picture last night to prove her evil little hellion deserved the win.
Check out our Glare-Off Champion fooling her mom into thinking they were having a nice moment while simultaneously giving her the finger.
I'll be adding that to my new "Babies Flipping the Bird" album. Obviously.
Thank you to everyone for participating in the Glare-Off. I hope it was fun for everybody, even if you didn't have a kid in the contest.
Tune in tomorrow when I will be back to my regularly scheduled program of posting adorable pictures of my daughter, trying to keep my apartment as Elmo-free as possible and accusing my husband of stealing my keys. (Has anybody seen them?)
Alright. I am going to sleep.
All winners, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with your address and gift selection if that is required. Congratulations!