If you think it's sad that Jews don't celebrate Christmas, did you know we are also not supposed to have baby showers? I think it's a "don't count your chickens before they hatch" thing. Literally. And although I have never been a very religious person, I did not want to mess with anybody upstairs when it came to giving birth.
So I didn't have a baby shower. I asked for gifts to arrive after I announced Mazzy was born.
No fun, I know.
Now all this seemed reasonable until about nine months into my pregnancy when it occurred to me that I would be bringing a baby home any second and I didn't have a single onesie or a diaper stashed in a drawer. I remember having a minor meltdown where I screamed that Judaism screwed me and my unborn child and then briefly considered storming Buy Buy Baby and purchasing everything in sight.
A good friend calmed me down by making a list of the only things I would absolutely need on Day One. I gave the list to my mom and she assured me that all those purchases would be waiting for me by the time I came home from the hospital.
You know what? Turns out newborn babies don't need all that much. No matter what that fear-inducing overly-prepared crazy lady from Pregnant In Heels told you. (Are they renewing that show? God I hope not.)
Below is a breakdown of practical tips and bare essentials for first time Jewish parents, laid back or lazy pregnant women, fellow Rosie Pope haters, people who have a sneaking suspicion that Wipes Warmers
NURSERY: The baby sleeps in your room for the first few months. You don't need a fully-decorated nursery immediately. Mine was empty. I decorated the entire thing from start to finish by shopping online while I was on maternity leave. The only thing I did before the baby was born was have it painted. Wild Aster from Benjamin Moore, if you must know. (Click here for pictures of Mazzy's room.)
CLOTHES: Do not buy a lot of clothes. Especially newborn clothes. All they will be wearing for the first few months are onesies and pajamas and they ruin EVERYTHING. Also, for the majority of babies, the newborn clothes fit for a very small period of time. Plus most people will get you clothing as gifts— in all different sizes. I didn't need to buy Mazzy any clothes myself until she was almost ten months. (Then I went to town.)
GROOMING: Hospitals supply you with a crapload of stuff, all of which you are allowed to take home with you. Pacifiers, receiving blankets, nasal aspirators, baby combs, etc. We were even advised to take the plastic bin that all the stuff came in because it is the perfect size to wash the baby for the first few weeks. Which you should do without soap or shampoo until week three.
SAFETY: A baby has to be able to move before they are in any real danger of pulling a piece of China out of a cabinet and smashing it over their head. You have at least five months to baby proof. And I don't care how many times Pregnant in Heels cut to the knife block on the kitchen counter to illustrate how unsuitable a home is for a child— you can keep it. Children can't reach the back wall of a countertop until they are around 18.
Finally, below is a list of the only things you absolutely need to have on Day One. No paid endorsements. Just the things I owned and used.
THE BARE ESSENTIALS BABY REGISTRY
Boppy
Humidifier
Hat
Fan
Pack of Onesies
Graco Snugride Infant Car Seat
Pack of Burp Clothes
Bassinet or Co-Sleeper
Snap-up Pajamas
Changing Pad
Graco Snap & Go Stroller Attachment
Diapers
Aden + Anais Muslin Swaddles
Diaper Genie
Hooded Infant Towel and Washcloth
Nursing bras (i
f you are in Manhattan— The Upper Breast Side is the place to go)
Soothies Pacifiers
Baby Grooming Kit
4 Ounce Bottles
Medela Pump in Style
Baby Sling
Lanolin Nipple Cream
Here's a link to this registry in the Mommy Shorts Shop. Did I miss anything?
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You have until the end of today to enter the Citrus Lane Baby Shower Box Giveaway.
Awesome list! To this, I would only add a sling or baby wrap of some kind. I carried my kids around in a sling all the time from Day 1, (ok maybe day 5), yes even in the house. It was the easiest way to keep them happy while I got stuff done. And no, they aren’t going to suffocate in there- geez. Just get someone (a doula or a crunchy friend whose already had kids) to teach you how to use it so they can breathe for goddsakes.
I would add a pack and play for the people not wanting to cosleep. I tried the cosleeper in the bed and I couldn’t sleep a wink. We just kept the pack and play at the end of the bed. It has a bassinet in it…so best of both worlds. We still use it for traveling and he is 2. I am dreading the day we can’t use it anymore.
A white noise machine(though if the fan is loud enough…that works). You could even use an old ipod with free tracks on the interwebz if you have the luxury. I wouldn’t have survived without that. Once agan, we still use it every night and that kid slept through a freakin hurricane.
Ya know what..i did this on maternity leave. A lot of the same things…maybe just a slightly different take (snap shirts vs onesies) – http://www.mannlymama.com/2009/11/mannly-mamas-survival-guide-for-the-first-3-months-and-beyond/
I’d like to suggest the 8 oz bottles instead of 4 oz ones. My eating machine was up to about 6 oz at like 3 months and having to use two bottles to feed her every time got old fast. you can still use the big ones with the brand new babies because they have the same markings. My 4 oz bottles were useless and I was mad.
Buy swaddle blankets, at least 2 for when they are puked, peed or otherwise rendered gross in the middle of the night. Trust me you will want a back up. I prefered the cotton one for summer so if you’re on the season bubble, go cotton not fleece. you can always layer under it with a onesie.
And take EVERYTHING from the hospital. Those nose sucky things you buy are crap, so stock up. Also side snap shirts are awesome and I couldn’t find them anywhere so grab some of those day one then ask for more (then pack them away and ask again)! They are great for under the swaddles! Especially if you have a baby that hates things going over her head…
The fan and humidifer are great for making noise in the room too so that baby can’t hear what’s going on outside. I love our sound machine for that reason alone!
I never co-slept because we had the angel care monitor. Heard good and bad things but once you get the setting right on it, I loved it because I actually got some sleep.
I would also like to add that I had the Bobby vibrating chair and it was a freaking LIFESAVER because I could move it all around the house with baby in one hand and chair in the other. it’s the ONLY way I got a shower because its small enough to fit in my miniature bathroom. and it plays music. If you will be home alone on Maternity leave I would consider this right under the line of Necessity but top of the list of things you will want BAD! 🙂
With my first pregnancy I registered for ALL the things as soon as I found out the sex of my baby at 20 weeks. My mom was already planning my shower. Then at 24 weeks my son was stillborn and I had a ton of things lying around my house to remind me that he died. And trips to the stores to return baby clothes when your baby died? Not fun, let me tell you.
When I was pregnant with Caitlyn I was utterly terrified of the proverbial counting of my chicken before she’d hatched. My mom still insisted on throwing me a baby shower but I made her wait till I was 36 weeks and I was still freaked out that Caitlyn would die because I was presumptious enough to think I might actually need onesies and diapers. In the end though, it was so nice to celebrate after everything I had been through and my shower was the highlight of my pregnancy.
As for your list, I think you should add NIPPLE CREAM. Because OMG my nipples hurt so much when I first started breastfeeding. I wanted to cry every time I had to feed her in the hospital. So yeah, add nipple cream and those pads that Lansinoh makes that you put in the freezer and stick to your boobs. They were my saving grace!
Agreed! The creme was a savior! Both when attempting to breastfeed or when pumping!!
I honestly wish I had this list when I was pregnant. I had no clue what I should or should not need, and ended up with things that were utterly useless. I agree with the ladies above – a baby sling/ carrier of some kind (I got THREE, ridiculous), nipple cream and I loved my huge variety of burp cloths.
I wrote a post back in January with a “new mom essentials” list of my own. I’d say yours is pretty spot-on. The only items I’d add are Lanolin for chapped nipples and breast milk storage bags. In terms of immediacy, however, the Lanolin trumps the storage bags (I also didn’t start pumping until 3 weeks in, but my nips started chafing almost immediately).
Oh, and I also added wine to my list. A small glass every night between feedings. And yes, I did consider it to be an “essential.” 😉
Great list! I think I would agree with everything here as being must buy. Shortly after baby comes, I’d also recommend a simple baby carrier so you can do dishes while holding baby 🙂
Great list! I was in a similar situation (although not by choice or religion) as my water broke the morning of my shower – 6 weeks early! The little one had respiratory issues and was transported to a level 3 NICU where he spent 4 weeks. The weird part is that I had a dream (or nightmare depending on how you look at it) about a month before my water broke about the baby coming early and the hospital not letting us discharge because we didn’t have any clothes or a car seat… So I did buy a few onzies, diapers and a car seat the next day. The rest of the nursey was taken care of while the little one was in the NICU.
As per the first commenter, I would add a body wrap to the list.
As for a swaddle blanket, check out the MIRACLE BLANKET – really is a miracle in keeping the little ones wrapped!
miracle blanket was my FAVORITE swaddle! Money back guarentee on houdini babies!
Baby showers aren’t tradition pretty much anywhere outside of the US, it’s such a strange concept to me! So no I didn’t have one with my first who was born overseas, and I’ll tell you that having to buy it all yourself is a good incentive to stick to the essentials!
I agree that a baby carrier is a great addition to your list, especially since babies aren’t supposed to be in carseats for more than 45 minutes at a time. You may also reconsider the Snap and Go, since almost all strollers are travel system adaptable these days. And I think bassinets are overrated too – the baby can go right in the crib from birth so long as you keep them at one end (rather than placing them right in the center). Also, you don’t need anything other than a fitted sheet for the crib, since it should be kept ‘naked’ until they are at least 1. That means no bumpers, quilts, flat sheets or toys. If you are going to go to the effort of getting a humidifier to prevent SIDS it doesn’t make sense to fill the crib with known (and banned in several countries) suffocation hazards.
I also like to recommend people get a pack and play that includes a changing table rather than buying both separately. It’s much easier to change the baby right where you are, and at waist height if you end up having a c-section.
Nose Frida!!!!!!!!!!!!
My in-laws made me feel horrible for not using a wipe warmer. We were ‘gifted’ one and you know what? By the time the wipe gets from the warmer to the bum, it’s cold again.
Great list, and for some reason, I’d never seen Mazzy’s room before. So cute.
I agree with CK and Brianne that Miracle Blankets are essential (and superior to Swaddle Me). They’re the only ones Hazy couldn’t wrestle her way out of.
I also agree with having a bassinet or something for the baby to sleep in for people who don’t want to cosleep.
A white noise maker or air purifier is a godsend. And also, for winter babies, a safe portable heater, since you can’t really use blankets on your baby and a swaddle can only provide so much warmth.
Someone convinced me I needed to register for one. When my sanity returned, the wipe warmer got returned. And I bought more burp cloths. Because THOSE are necessary.
YES- Nosefrida Snotsucker. I wish I had it with my first.
Instead of burp clothes, I use Gerber cloth diapers. A little cheaper, just as absorbent and I can use them as dust rags if they get too gross.
Also, instead of bassinet or Pack and Play- which lay flat- my son sleeps in a Rock and Play because he has bad reflux and gets better sleep when at an angle. Plus at $50 it is a cheaper option.. plus it rocks like a bassinet would.
Great list! I would have LOVED this list when I had my first little boy. You know what other list I would have loved?? A “what do you absolutely need to pack in your hospital bag”. Even with my second I had no clue. (i know everyone has lists online, but the things I actually needed at the hospital turned out to be a boppy and my own “nursing appropriate” night gown. I was so scared I would need more since they tell you to pack so early and I brought too much!
I must sing the praises of the Snap and Go – yes, lots of strollers can accommodate car seats, but can you fold it, lift it, and slide it into a small trunk, all with one hand while still recovering from your c-section/ perineal laceration? There’s the criteria for your in-store test drive. The Snap and Go was awesome – we went straight to an umbrella stroller after we outgrew it.
My Brest Friend nursing pillow was the best thing EVER! I don’t think I even would have been successful at breastfeeding my kids without it. I recommend it to everyone 🙂
Great list. Couldn’t get thru all of the comments (sorry, lame I know) I would add those t-shirts that snap up the side to avoid the belly button before it falls off. I also had a very handy pile of thin cloth diapers that protected adult shoulders during burb time, and were used bib-like during nursing, and mopped up all of the variety of fluids involved in newborns.
yes, I love the the Nose Frida! so much better than the bulb aspirator you take from the hospital.
I’m so sorry about your son.
I could NOT psych myself up to use that thing, no matter how effective it is! I agree, though, that all the non-hospital issued bulb aspirators are terrible.
I know, and what are we, trying to raise the next Mariah Carey? What kind of baby diva needs their wipe warmed!?
Life. Saver. Without the Rock n Play, we would have never slept.
Duct tape. You’ll need it for all kinds of things. I’m not joking.
Nice list! The SwaddleMe is definitely a must. Screw trying to wrestle them into blankets. They seem to figure out how to get out of it by the time they get home.
Diaper Genie though? nah. I still don’t have a diaper pail. And mine’s two years now. Yes, I may have to take out the trash slightly more often but I don’t have to pay for those expensive refills.
I still vote for the Diaper Genie. Ease of use and quick diaper disposal and smell trapping outweigh the small price.
I added it. I left it off originally because they say they aren’t recommended before 3 months. But I didn’t know that and used it religiously from day one. I don’t know what I would have done without it. And will probably use it from day one for the next one too.
A pack n’ play with a bassinet is a great idea. We disassembled our bassinet after 3 months and put it in storage. If we had used a pack n’ play from the beginning, it would have come in handy for travel. We ended up getting one anyway.
The Boppy vibrating chair! I’m going to add that. Mazzy LOVED that thing and took half of her naps in it for the first few months.
I also looked EVERYWHERE for the side-snap shirts that we got at the hospital. Why don’t they sell those?
We also had the sleep sheep as a noise machine. I don’t actually know if it worked (how could you really know?) but I used it religiously regardless.
I’m so sorry you went through that- must have been horrible. I had a miscarriage myself and a very high risk pregnancy so I totally understand what you are saying about being scared to let yourself buy anything. I often wonder if I would have been so strict about not getting anything before Mazzy was born, if I wasn’t so terrified of something going wrong.
thank you
Yeah, it’s pretty fucking terrible when you can’t enjoy it at all, you can’t look forward to having your baby. Because if you do they will probably die and it will be all your fault. I can’t even say I fully relaxed and stop worrying she would die until she was almost a year old. I was very lucky during my pregnancy though because I found the best doctor ever and he and his staff were amazing and accomodating even when I was being crazy. Which was pretty much all the time.
What did you use it for? I’m confused.
THANK YOU!!! As a first time mom, trying to make this list has been hard, but I knew if I searched your blog, I’d find something awesome like this!
This list really does sums up everything you need for your baby!! Does it matter if one invest in a well performed humidifier to help with the baby’s skin? I saw this buying guide for baby humidifiers ( https://tophumidifierreview.com/humidifier-buying-guide-for-baby ) and it kinda convinced me to have a better humidifier..