Above is my baby. Sitting with Santa. No joy, no tears, nothing. Unaffected. If this picture had accompanying dialogue it would be: "Mom? Aren't we Jewish?" Yep, babe, it's true. And as a result, I'm afraid all this holiday hoopla is not really meant for you.
Sadly, I've felt indifferent towards the holidays ever since I realized that Hanukah traditions were mainly something put into place to make the Jewish kids not feel totally screwed come Christmas time. Sure, when I was little, we took Hanukah very seriously. Choosing which of our eight gifts to open each night was a momumental thing. And for every digital clock pen or faceless wooden puppet (most disappointing gift receiving moment EVER), there was something awesome like an 1000-piece unicorn puzzle or a pair of Freezy Freakies.
But sometime in junior high school, the novelty of eight small separate gifts wore off and all I wanted was one big one. And then after college, the Hanukah family gatherings took on more of a grab bag approach. Until eventually the gifts and gatherings receded altogether (we're really more of a Thanksgiving family) and the holiday season was all about vacation days off from work.
But I live in New York City and am surrounded by other Jews who tend to celebrate the holidays the same way that I do (by staying the hell away from Macy's), so I've never really felt like I was missing out on anything.
Until this year.
This year, I don't just live in NYC, I have also built a second home in a town called Bloggerville. And in Bloggerville, not only do the large majority of people celebrate Christmas, but they do it with such genuine joy and motivation that I'm relegated to the sidewalks of their holiday bedecked houses, blinking my eyes and careening my neck, trying to get a look in.
Sure, I have made some attempts to be festive on Mommy Shorts with my gingerbread crack houses and my free holiday gifts found around the house. But summoning up a bunch of images on a computer and calling it "Christmas" can't compete with people actually decorating trees (with homemade ornaments!) and baking (multi-layered!) cakes and singing video Christmas carols and hanging heirlooom stockings and mailing wishlists to Santa in REAL LIFE.
To make matters worse, all this in-your-face online holiday cheer has made me notice just how much more absent the holidays have been for me than usual this year.
For starters, Hanukah came extra early. It began right before Mazzy's first birthday party and it came to a close just as we all got hit with a horrible stomach bug. And I worked late nights throughout. So we never lit the candles. Not even once. This year, my Hanukah made one big "pfffft" before landing in a heap on the floor and then getting swept underneath the carpet entirely.
Traditionally, at the very least, I would be subjected to work related holiday festivities. In addition to the vacation days, there's the Christmas tree in the office lobby, the department organized "Secret Santa", the annual office holiday party, and the fact that you'll find the majority of NYC Christmas decorations in Midtown Manhattan, where my office has always been located. But this year, for the first time since I got out of college, I dont have a full-time job and I'm not working over the holidays.
If it wasn't for the Santa photo-op at the Bowery Babes holiday party (where the above picture was taken), I might have bypassed the holidays altogether.
Which, as a Jew from New York, would have been just fine.
But then again, there's this damn house I've built for myself in Bloggerville where everyone hands out candy canes and shouts "Merry Christmas!" when you pass them on the street. For the first time in my life, the fact that I don't have a strand of multi-colored lights along my rain gutter or a glowing reindeer on the roof or a doorbell that chimes "Oh Holy Night" is making me feel a little left out.
So, what's a Jew to do?
Amanda Peet was on Letterman last night and she said that for Christmas, her family will be celebrating a belated Hanukah. That sounds like an awesome idea. Who says we can't dig out the menorah and light the whole damn thing at once on Christmas Eve? If we add that to Chinese food on Christmas Day, as is the Jewish custom, I might feel some genuine holiday spirit. And maybe we can pepper next week with a drive into the suburbs to see some extreme holiday decorations and take a subway up to the New York Botanical Gardens to check out the holiday train show. We can even take a detour to the Second Ave Deli to stuff our faces with latkes. And then brave the bitter cold while standing on line for the Christmas windows at Lord & Taylor's. We'll cap off the week with a little Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer (Netfilx!) while we sip hot chocolate by the— crap, we don't have a fireplace.
My point is, maybe just because we missed Hanukah and we don't celebrate Christmas, doesn't mean we have to skip the holidays entirely. I know I'm never gonna have a tree or go caroling or lose an arm in a battle for the latest and greatest holiday toy, BUT— having a baby means the opportunity to set new family traditions.
I'm thinking we haven't totally blown the holidays just yet.
And a big thanks to my neighbors in Bloggerville for spreading the holiday spirit over to the new house without a Christmas tree in the window.
Much love and peace to you this holiday season, whether you want to celebrate any of them or not. You help make Twitter a place worth spending lots of my time. And for that, I have lots of <3
Oh and I forgot to mention that Christmas isn’t even a christian holiday. Jesus wasn’t born in December and pretty sure it has it’s origins in paganism. And of course Santa, reindeer, and lit indoor trees have nothing to do with Jesus too!
So don’t feel you’re betraying Judaism if you want to not be out in the cold all alone.
My family is Jewish!! We have always celebrated Hanukkah growing up (not huge, but we did). Not that I married a Christian man, we do the Christmas tree, lights, and presents. NONE of it is because of the religion.
LOVED your post…It is hard being a jew this time of year though!
Amanda Peet is Jewish?
“Yes Virginia, there is a holiday season.” I love love love this post! It seconds all the things I’ve been thinking and feeling. It is strange, and moving, and a bit of a bummer to see thru the eyes of the blogosphere just how the other half lives when it comes to Xmas. It is also an honor to be exposed in a small way to the many traditions of people around the social media-sphere. You wanna know what I’m doing today? Baking cranberry chocolate chunk biscotti (gluten free & awesome thank you very much) to take to my Jewish family’s chinese food Hannukah/Xmas festivities tomorrow. So you wanna re-adjust your traditions honey, go for it.
And while I’m getting all holiday spirit-ish and shit, have I mentioned just how glad I am to call you my friend? Oh, I have? Well F*ck it then, I don’t wanna be redundant. Happy Hannukah Ilana, to you, Mike, and the always adorable Mazzy. xo
Well that is very unexpected and sweet:) Happy Holidays to you too- whatever it is you do (or do not) celebrate!
I know it’s true. But I’m still not comfortable with making the leap to have a Christmas tree in my home. I will however, crash other people’s Christmas(es?) which is what I am doing tonight!
Apparently.
Unfortunately, I married someone who is also Jewish so my opportunity to take on all the Christmas traditions guilt-free has passed. Why I would feel guilty about two Jews having a Christmas tree, I have no idea.
Gluten-free Chinese Hanukkah X-mas sounds grand! Mike, Mazzy & I will be attending our Filipino friend’s Christmas Eve gathering tonight where I am told there will be much eating of pork.
And we just got home from brunch with friends at Clinton Street Bakery where we all ordered our own entrees plus every variation on pancakes available TO SHARE. What could feel more festive than that???
I feel very lucky to count you as my friend too, Miss Paradox. And I wish you the happiest of holidays:)
This post is something I can relate to somewhat. My family is Roman Catholic…buuuut…we didn’t go to church today. And on Good Friday we eat meat. And I live out of wedlock with my fiance and our two children. I also use birth control. And to be honest, on Christmas I look more forward to seeing the people I love light up as they open their gifts from myself and enjoy the great big meal we share together. With all that said, I do feel a little guilty that we spend so little time celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. And then I figure to myself I can have both as long as I say a prayer to thank the Lord for Jesus Christ each day. Instead of putting major emphasis on it one day a year I just try to have an equal amount of thanks each day.
Wow, after reading that over it kinda makes me sound way more religious than I actually am.
Just my two cents.
I’m the same way on Passover and Yom kippur. Two holidays I really should be seeing the inside of a temple but I haven’t in years. I still observe both holidays though with family and by fasting and what not. It’s the family traditions that make me feel in touch with my religion, not the temple.
Look I am a ferret. Not just any ferret, but the Sexiest Ferret Alive, and will probably get invited onto Oprah. So I can empathize if not sympathize with your plight. I have tolerated the whole Christmas thing….. for years now. My pet human has danced and sang songs and given me gifts, until finally, I have learned to cave in. It’s infectious, it’s everywhere, it’s well, it’s Universal. I have even posted a few tidbits about Santa’s sliegh on my blog. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Just yesterday I was on @DirtyGarnet ‘s Blog commenting on the Crown Prince of England cashing in on the Christmas bargains at the liquor store…
So this whole thing shouldn’t disturb you. I try to temper my conversion to SantaAnity by NOT wearing any hat on my avi on Twitter, not getting too carried away with the “Merry Christmas” wishes, meanwhile giving out gratuitous meaningless shopping tips, IE: While Shopping, carry two flasks…
This is how I have stayed sane, and how I understand ferrets all over the world tolerate Christmas…
As for sitting on Santa’s lap?? Well, I think all those Santas are all pervs…..
I tweet at http://twitter.com/Samuel_Clemons
Thanks for posting
Wow. My first comment from a ferret. A seemingly British ferret. And if the British thing wasn’t intimidating enough, you appear to also be a knighted ferret who goes liquor shopping with royalty… how do I respond???
Merry Christmas?
Also, tell your human that although December is reserved for people holidays, all other days are Special Ferret Days. And if your human doesn’t believe you, he can ask the Queen, herself.
Not a Brit, actually, but @DirtyGarnet s Blog Entry was about the Prince.
Sir Samuel Zues Clemons was the name they gave me, cause everyone in my family is named Uncle Freddie. Even my aunts are named uncle freddie. During parties, or family get togethers, you yell out, “hey Freddie!!” and you 46 people turn around…
But how I got the name is another story, isn’t it?
You are welcome, Ilana to check out my blog at http://SamuelClemons.BlogSpot.com and see the story about the Prince at http://www.dirtygarnet.com/?p=983
called “The Captain” to put my original post in it’s proper contrast, and so you don’t think I might be well, Canadian or even worse, a mouse.
As usual, I love the way this is written! Also, the picture of Mazzy with Santa is hilarious. I love that she’s like, “What?” LOVE!
I have a good friend that is Jewish – they celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas so the kids don’t feel left out. The kids are always so excited because they get the eight day gifts and the Christmas gifts, LOL. They don’t do the stockings or Santa, though, and they put Jewish decorations like the star of David and the Menorah on their tree. The kids call it a Hanukkah tree ; )
Great blog!
I was raised Catholic, but my children were raised non-denominational, closer to Evangelical, gasp! However, at Christmas, I’m always looking for a good Christmas Eve service, where we get the story, the songs – and the meaning of Christmas. This Christmas Eve found us in a Catholic mass. My oldest son, 24 and a philospher, poo-pooed the service. I loved it – and pointed out that the only difference between the Catholic mass and a Jewish service is the gospel and communion. I never realized it until we attended a Bat-Mitvah (sp) years ago. To me, it makes the service even more meaningful now, to think of the historic significance of where our faith came from – which is so closely linked to yours!
I can also imgine the challenge, to stand firm on your faith and not give in – that is to be commended!
I pray that your New Year is filled with blessings and joy!
I like the idea of a Hanukkah tree. You are welcome to make a case with my husband— he has a harder line on these things than I do:)
Thanks Kate— Happy Holidays to you!
I will make it my business to properly research your lineage for future comments. Thanks for the visit:)
I grew up going to a reform temple where there was an organ and a choir, so we are even closer than you think.
Thank you for commending my choice. I often wonder why I haven’t given in to Christmas. I think it has something to do with my grandparents. They may have all passed but Jewish guilt is alive and well.
Celebrating Christmas always competes with ghosts of Christmas past–nothing is more intense than Christmas as a kid, when waiting for presents causes hyperventilation, and the Christmas candlelight service is so beautiful. My father left when I was 15 and Christmas went way flat. I enjoy it now as an adult–but only after a lot of therapy. Finally, I am glad to see a santa photo where the child is not terrified, which seems to happen a lot with the Christian children I know!
Now you know how I feel come passover when I start cozying up to all my Jewish friends trying to get an invitation!
Because I am the only person in the world who actually likes gefilte fish.
Swap you for some Christmas cheer? 😉
My parents got divorced when I was ten and though I never really thought about it, I’m pretty sure my holidays suffered as a result too. My mother got the holidays in the divorce settlement so my father hasn’t celebrated them since. No joke. Even as adults, old habits die hard.
You’re on. You can even come to my Passover sedar where you are free to eat all the gefilte fish you want. You can even take mine right off my plate. It is the only way it will get eaten.
Hi Ilana, I know it’s kinda a late reply lol, but it’s actually the first time I saw this post I just had to comment. I think it’s very commendable to stand firm on what you believe, especially in a world where your belief is a minority. I don’t celebrate Christmas either, haven’t all my life. As a previous poster mentioned, Christmas isn’t even the Savior’s birthday, (however it is the birthday of the sun god Mithra, interestingly) and it originates from pagan customs. I see it as a very commendable thing to be different, to not be swayed by the masses (no pun intended, lol) and to stand firm on your beliefs. There’s many including myself who don’t celebrate Christmas along with you. So don’t feel left out! 🙂
Also I have to say I love your blog. You have such a great sense of humor and you make me laugh so hard. It’s nice to see a mom who goes through the same tests and trials as every mom and be able to get a laugh out of it 🙂
[…] are Jewish, in case you are not already aware, and although we have pictures of Mazzy destroying a piece of matzah, grimacing at charoset and […]