Above (and below) is Mazzy in the dress that was featured in my interview with Jenny Cooper from crewcuts. The dress is freakin' adorable, but it's too big which is why Mazzy ended up wearing something else to the wedding. (If you missed my wedding post yesterday, prehaps the promise of both a chart and a video can act as incentive to check it out now.)
I'll have to save the crewcuts dress for Mazzy's star-studded red-carpet-laden World Tour— currently in the works for 2012.
It should fit perfectly by then.
Moving on to this week's winners and losers. It's been a contest heavy couple of weeks.
The first winner I am announcing is from the "Unsolicited Parenting Advice" comment competition. It was a tight race between "Kristin's Lambie Beatdown" and "Sarah's Family Planning Lesson".
Ultimately, someone suggesting that Kristin "disrespect" her daughter's beloved Lambie (pictured left) as a means of discipline took the win over young Sarah's neighbor assuming she was putting her baby up for adoption. Third place went to Elizabeth and the old man who told her to lubricate her nipples before breastfeeding.
Next up is the winner of the "Clean Up Your Hot Mess" giveaway sponsored by NewDayNewDeals. I asked everyone to tell me their "hot mess moment" for a chance to win a Petunia Pickle Bottom Weekender Bag. The lucky winner (picked at random) is…
Sky's "hot mess moment" was the time she bought maternity PJ's without realizing there were slits in the top for breastfeeding. Then she wore them while answering her front door, giving the Schwan's man an accidental show. I hear Mr. Schwan is still talking about it amongst his delivery friends.
As for everyone else, about 90% of your "hot mess moments" involved leaky boobs. Leaky boobs in the office, leaky boobs in the grocery store, leaky boobs all over the place. It appears that if we all carried around a bucket to catch the excess lactation, we could collectively feed the children of a small third world nation. Something to think about.
For variety's sake, here are my four favorite non-leaky boob "hot mess moments":
I went to the cinema with my husband a few months after my daughter was born. We had planned to go to a nice restaurant afterward so during the movie, I searched my bag for concealer stick and then blindly applied it to the sides of my nose in the dark. It wasn't until the lights came on that my husband noticed I had mistakenly applied red lipstick all over my face. Even worse, the lipstick was the long-lasting kind so I couldn't quite get it off. I ended up sitting in a very fancy restaurant looking like a clown with a bad cold.
Once I left the double stroller in the library parking lot after I got the kids in the van. Then I hit the stroller with the back of my van causing it to fly across the parking lot while shocked and horrified library patrons assumed it had kids in it.
When I returned to campus after my maternity leave (I work for a University), I was borrowing a coworker's office for pumping sessions. There I was, dress unbuttoned, totally exposed, double pumping away when the Assistant Dean walked in on me. He just STOOD there, uncomfortably in the door. Then he said he was bringing some cables for her computer, and proceeded to walk over to her desk and leave them while muttering about networking issues. It was obvious he didn't know what to do, but it was horrible how he proceeded to go about his business while I was sitting there pumping!
I was flying sans husband with my two-year old toddler and newborn to L.A., sitting next to someone in the aisle seat who obviously had no interest in children. I was discretely breastfeeding the baby underneath a blanket when my toddler reached into his diaper, pulled out some poop and then proceeded to smear it on himself, the seat, and me. In my panic to grab his hand, my blanket fell off exposing my bare chest and startling the baby who began to cry. The person in the aisle seat didn't move, just stared at me frozen with horror. I had to wait for a flight attendant to come over so I could hand her the baby in order to put my shirt back on and take my toddler to the bathroom.
There were 261 entries, so even though Angelika, Donna, Amber and Carole didn't win anything, they should be VERY PROUD. Hopefully, this well deserved recognition will restore at least a small part of their lost dignity.
Thanks for sharing!
Lastly, I had big plans to start my first ever facebook fanpage contest today but I got so many early submissions, that I am going to take the weekend to get everything together and officially announce it on Monday.
If you haven't already heard, I am looking for kids who look like celebrities. Nothing ridiculous. Stuff like the Mazzy/Justin Bieber side-by-side I posted earlier this week or the Mazzy/George Costanza side-by-side pictured above. Basically, you can balance a Kermit the Frog on top of your daughter's head and call her Lady Gaga. It's that simple.
If you want to submit a picture, just post it on the wall of the Mommy Shorts Facebook Fanpage with your child's name and the celebrity you think he/she looks like and I'll take it from there.
More details to come Monday!
— Mommy Shorts