On Tuesday, I told an innocent story about a goat and broken dreams. And what did everyone do? They went straight to ass jokes.
This is why I love you people.
After much deliberation, Natasha has found someone worthy of her crown. The new Caption Contest Queen is…
Lori!
She said:
After a successful test strip from the flank, the aesthetician-in-training prepared herself for the hardest goddamned Brazilian wax ever in the history of hair.
Well deserved, Lori. WELL DESERVED.
When Lori is not waxing goats or blogging at In Pursuit of it All, you can find her helping kids with language development at Your Child Talking.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
"The Great Minds Think Alike Award" goes to New Mom On The Blog and Julie Gardner who both said:
She didn't even buy me dinner.
"The Most Random Celebrity Reference Award" goes to Kim at Let Me Start By Saying who said:
Is it just me, or is Michelle Williams trying to get me to turn and cough in broad daylight? Cuz if so, I gotta say bitch is WAY shorter in real life.
"The Bacteria Is Your Friend Award" goes to MommaKiss who said:
Mommy, I lost my pacifier!
"The Someone Watched Neverending Story Too Many Times As A Kid Award" goes to Ari who said:
Falcor's early 80's success was sadly cut short by a cocaine habit. He now resides at a petting zoo where he makes money to support his habit.
And finally, "The Nathan Lane Award" goes to Mary Mary who said:
I could have been on Broadway.
You can read all 45 entries here.
Thank you to Lisa from The Unglamorous Mommy for allowing us all to imagine her adorable daughter's arm up a goat's ass. If you have a funny baby picture that you think is worthy of captioning, please email it to myshort@mommyshorts.com.
As for Queen Lori? Wear your crown with pride. Use it to garner respect in all aspects of life. And get ready. Because you, my friend, have the supreme honor of judging the next caption contest.
Well played, Lori. Well played.
That was my pick as the winner too!! Freaking hilarious!! Great job Lori!
But, but! I had one! And I thought I had until tonight, with winner announced tomorrow! WHY ARE ALL THE RULES CHANGING.
(Mine wasn’t nearly as good as those listed, though. So, probably for the best.)
(Not really. It was kickass, otherwise known as YOUR LOSS.)
I was thinking something similar to Lori’s, but I couldn’t get the words together right. Well done.
Come on. You have to share with the class, now.
I totally suck at captions, sigh.
The Neverending Story!!!! I used to be obsessed with that movie as a kid. I used to pretend to be the whiny empress, with a necklace hanging on my forehead. And the scene with his horse dying is still one of the upsetting things I have ever seen on film.
Oh, and props to my father for letting me drag him to see the Neverending Story 2 in theaters. Yes, the one with Jonathan Brandeis. I’m sorry dad. I made it up to you by seeing all the Star Trek: The Next Generation movies with you when nobody else would… 🙂
Thanks for the HM! I never know if other people find my randomness amusing, or just give me the “is she mad?” look from their laptop.
I’m going with “amusing”. Although someone called me “demented” the other day so take my endorsement with a grain of salt.
Glad you happy with the result! I always fear parental backlash.
Finding the sweet spot between funny and totally offensive is a learned skill. You’ll get there!
My father took me to see Star Trek: The Wrath of Kahn when I was still terrified of The Purple Pie Man of Porcupine Peak (the bad guy from Strawberry Shortcake). The bugs in the ears scene? That ate their brains? I still have nightmares.
I can never play this game, since it brings out the best of the best from around the blogosphere….and Lori just proved it with that win! Cracking up over all of them!
I’d just like to say that the animal-husbandry-personal-grooming industry is oft overlooked and misunderstood.
So I accept this award on behalf of all of them. Us. Them. Those people over there.
Great job Lori. Really.
I’ve never been happier with an honorable mention.