Mike and I took Mazzy to my uncle's wedding over the weekend. Previously, I had thought taking a baby on a plane was a challenging activity but now I know that NOTHING rivals the stamina required to get a 19 month-old through the seven hour roller coaster of a sleepless celebration (see chart below).
In order to properly prepare you for the extreme exhaustion that comes along with dragging your child to an otherwise happy occasion, I have devised… "THE SEVEN PHASES OF TAKING A TODDLER TO A WEDDING".
PHASE 1: Family Photo "Fun"
The first phase of every wedding involves taking pictures of every family member combination imaginable. This requires patience and the ability to feign happiness (which is hard enough for my husband, let alone a toddler). If there is one picture where Mazzy is not bending over backwards to get out of my arms or burying her nose while weeping into my shoulder, then I'm sure it's because she's happily tugging on my earing while I'm screaming out in agony.
PHASE 2: The Ceremony (AKA "Those Aren't Tears of Happiness")
In this phase, your toddler is expected to sit silently in a pew with her hands and feet to herself as someone's very important life event slowly unfolds in front of them. Unless you are witnessing the nuptials of Elmo and Abby Cadabby, this is probably not enough to hold a toddler's rapt attention. Seconds before the bride FINALLY walks down the aisle, telltale signs of imminent unraveling will occur and you and your spouse will have a hushed debate about whether one of you should just sit the ceremony out and take the kid outside. DO IT.
PHASE 3: Cocktail Free-For-All
Balancing your purse, a drink and a plate of crudite while hungrily descending upon anything that moves with a tray is a challenging task. Add a toddler into the mix and you can kiss your chance at a cocktail weiner goodbye. Ditto to that much needed glass of wine. Even if you are able to wait out the line at the bar and emerge with a drink in hand, good luck keeping it in the glass as you chase your kid from one potential disaster to another. She's got people to harass, food to eat off the floor and energy to burn from being quarantined in Phases 1 & 2. (See photo above for visual of extreme happiness unleashed.) It's best if you and your spouse divide and conquer. And keep the interesting conversation to a minimum. It's impossible to process anything while you're watching your kid use your new silk dress as a napkin.
PHASE 4: The Reception (AKA "Dance For Your Life")
Just when you think the energy level can't get any higher, along comes a dance floor and a DJ. This was actually my favorite phase because not only did Mazzy dance like her life depended on it, she happened to be AWESOME at the Horah. She held hands, walked in a circle, and clapped at exactly the right times. By far, the least stressful part of the evening. (If you are somebody that is worried about your child being trampled, then this phase will probably be much less pleasant.)
PHASE 5: Mealtime Exhaustion
By the time dinner arrives, the energy exerted in Phases 3 & 4 begins to take it's toll. If you're smart and you brought your stroller, you can attempt to get your child down for a nap. If you are not smart, like myself, your child may use this time as an invitation to demonstrate the true definition of "over-tired". In Mazzy's case, this meant tangling herself in the floor to ceiling window treatments, crawling under the table to rescue abandoned dinner rolls and starting a "rolling trend" amongst the other toddlers in attendance. This is also a good time to change a dirty diaper in the ladies room. Everybody loves to get up close and personal with a pile of poop while they are wearing formal attire.
PHASE 6: The Second Wind
After dinner is usually the time when the highest energy music is played. The kids take over the dance floor, dresses fly up over the heads, and inhibition is lost. If you're lucky like me, your toddler might take this opportunity to start a new dance craze called "Fetch My Sippy Cup, Boy"…
PHASE 7: The Drunken Ride Home
We had thought that as soon as we started the hour drive home, Mazzy would be out like a light. Sadly, it was not in the cards. Once fastened in her carseat, Mazzy went through something I call "The Broken Robot". This is where she takes her "greatest hits" (words, songs, people's names etc.) and turns them into utter nonsense. The main crux of her performance was based around the song "Old MacDonald". It went something like this: "Everybody here, everybody there E-I-E-I-O, Mommy here, Mommy there E-I-E-I-O…" There was also an impressive mash-up of Oh Susanna and the theme song from Elmo's World. The show continued till the ride was over. No intermission.
You know who passed out immediately when we got home?
ME.
For all I know, Mazzy left and went to an after-party.
Ilana, this is possibly one of my favoritest posts from you….okay, I love them all, but this had me on the floor. From the first word to the last. The video is priceless. I imagine that she has the ’round her little finger’ thing down pat with the male gender.
I am not taking the Monkey to a wedding anytime soon! *fingers crossed*
Oh too funny! I have never taken a toddler to a wedding – I took my 3 year old once and that was bad enough!
I had my dad watch JDaniel when I had to go to a wedding this spring. You were so brave!
I couldn’t see the video on my phone, but this was great. Dinner with Robin Williams indeed. The hairy knuckles alone.
Can I just tell you how much I totally relate to this. All 4 of our kids were in a wedding this past weekend and on Sunday after all the events were finished, I totally suffered from an exhaustion hangover.
It was not pretty.
The kids….. they were fine and wanted to go swimming.
So funny and so, so true! Me, my husband, my 4 year old and my 16 month old were in my sister-in-law’s wedding in May and Oh. My. Holy. Hell!!!! It was possibly one of the worst experiences of my entire life.
We have an upcoming family wedding in October and I’m hoping that being spectators will be a bit easier.
Laughing so hard right now! And good girl making the boy do all the work 🙂
Oh weddings. Pre kids they were drunken, fun filled nights now it’s guerilla warfare. My sister in law got married while my husband was deployed and begged me to bring all 3 kids. I resisted but after many phone calls about how great it would be, how everyone would help, I gave in. Big mistake. It was 20 minutes of ‘How cute! They’re so sweet!’ followed by three hours of death glares from everyone because they were too loud, kept getting in the way and wouldn’t stand still for pictures. Never again. How anyone thought me bringing a 3 year old, 21 month old and 5 month old, ALONE, would be a good idea is beyond me.
This is both hilarious and frightening, as we’re taking Hazy to a wedding this weekend. Fortunately, it’s super casual, they have a lot of kid stuff going on, and it’s at 3:00. Are those good things? Please say yes?
Oh. Oh wow. My tummy hurts from watching that video. Thanks for the laugh!
It gets me stressed just thinking about it. I like your recovery times, they seem pretty accurate
HAHAHA!
The boy would actually pick up the sippy cup and give it to an adult and then the adult would give it back to Mazzy so she could throw it at the boy again.
Parents are cruel when they’ve had a few drinks:)
I can’t even imagine attempting this with more than one. Do you just throw your hands up at some point and leave them to their own devices while you hide in the bathroom with a cocktail?
Mazzy wasn’t in the wedding but we did have to be there early for family pictures. I’m sure having the kid walk down the aisle adds a whole other level of stress.
Oh my god! That sounds horrendous!
Mazzy was far from the only kid at the wedding. There must have been at least twenty. I have NEVER been to a wedding with so many kids. Usually people draw the line with the wedding party.
So nobody thought Mazzy was too loud but nobody talked to anybody either. Our hands were all full.
Our wedding started at 2pm and there were lots of other kids. I think you might have your hands full. I suggest sweating it out on the dance floor for as long as possible. It’s an acceptable form of burning off energy not to mention— VERY FUN with a toddler.
this is the reason we didn’t have kids at our wedding….I don’t understand why parents want to bring their kids….It’s no fun to have to chase after your child all night especially when they should be in bed!
we have a wedding on Saturday that Eddie is coming to. I am terrified. and you did NOT help.
Worst wedding date ever? I think not. MOST ADORABLE WEDDING DATE EVER.
She gets a free pass for being so stinking cute. The rest of the post just read: blah blah I’m cute blah blah blah So cute.
I have not taken either child to a wedding. I don’t even have the cojones to go to church with them unless I walk straight to the cry room, and that’s an hour.
I hope it makes you feel better that I am crying from laughing so hard. Not that my laughter pays the drycleaning bill from your dress-turned-napkin.
Oh, she looks completely adorable in her poofy little dress. And that video is awesome. I could practically see her shouting, “Fetch my sippy cup, boy!” And LOL at Phase 7: The Drunken Ride Home. I’ve had a few rides home from weddings (and bars) like that too, broken robot speak and bizarre song mash-ups included.
All that said, this is exactly why we arranged for childcare at our wedding. Because while most of our friends recognized the event as a chance to leave the kids with a babysitter and have an adult night out, my in-laws insisted on every small child in the family being brought to show off… er, enjoy the fun, whether their poor parents were up for it or not. We gave in and allowed them at the reception, and it was fine. Cute even. But when my mistress of ceremonies/bouncer caught Hubs’ cousin trying to smuggle her toddler into the ceremony, she was forced to wrestle them both into the church nursery.
I need to find some plastic champagne glasses so I can do the “Fetch my Piper Sonoma, Bill” dance.
(also, I still think having dinner with Robin Williams might be more exhausting. just don’t ever take him to a wedding. or marry him.)
Loved this, Ilana.
Pure gold.
And also? Mazzy’s hair looked fabulicious!
So full confession: when we got married we said “no kids” which made us extremely unpopular with some cousins that had kids. But we were young (childless) and didn’t know better or about all the hassles that go into arranging for childcare AND traveling to a family wedding. I blame this on getting married w/o my mother around to tell me I was being unreasonable.
Then we went to another cousins wedding where our kids (ages 3 and 2) WERE invited and we were grateful to not have to worry about sitters etc. Our evening pretty much went as you described above, TO THE LETTER.
We felt a little guilty about not having kids at our wedding after that one.
THEN… this past summer we went to ANOTHER wedding where kids were invited. Now we ALL have kids. Basically ages 6,5,4,3 and 2. The kids were PUMPED! They OWNED the dancefloor. So much so that we had my son and nephews doing Tom Cruise impressions and sliding on their knees across the dance floor! They were having a ball, all sweaty and laughing.
We were dying, laughing thinking it was GREAT. Then we started to realize that NO ONE ELSE was dancing because our adorable kiddos were hogging the floor. Ooops… Then we smiled and thought.. THIS is why we didn’t have kids at OUR wedding, and we left shortly thereafter.
Apparently the grownups did reclaim the floor and the party went on until the wee hours.
That video of Mazzy is awesome BTW!
Imagine if all the weddings you ever took your child to also involved taking an airplane – my oldest has been to several weddings and we had to fly to every single one! Luckily she’s an old pro at both. The youngest one, who likes to “sing”, hasn’t been invited to any yet…
The video btw is awesome, as is Mazzy’s dress!
love it!
Hilarious! Reminds me of the bat mitzvah we went to in cleveland last april… I was expecting the worst, and the service was pretty bad for toddler containment (hopefully the wedding was at least in english!) But she loved dancing….even if she was the only one on the dance floor….
Of course I have to share the video again….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCzX-1YaaZA&feature=youtube_gdata_player
This makes me kick myself for not recording CP’s shanagians during the last wedding we went to. He sat for 10min. Total.
I looks like Mazzy had the entire party enchanted w her sippy cup dance. That girl really knows how to work a crowd!
Great post, as usual!!
Went to a wedding start of July; my (almost! eek!) two year old slept of her own accord the two hour ride there, noshed on snacks during the service, played with colour onder markers at start of reception, attracted every kid aged 8 and under when I set up the portable DVD pkayer … to Dora … apparently kids trapped at adult functions arent so picky about electronics … sat with rapt attention to the entertainment provided for reception, danced up a storm, fell aslepp dancing in my arms, transferred to her stroller where she slept til we left and resettled easily at hotel. And then … and only then … did I pull the collassal giant golden horseshoe out of my ass! Lemme know if you ever did to borrow it, just dont abuse its power …
You had me in stitches. She is not even 2 and has that boy wrapped around her pinky. Awesome post! And I rarely say awesome, cause I hate having to spell check…
It was a family wedding otherwise we are BIG FANS of keeping Mazzy at home.
Sorry. At least you are prepared for the worst now. And you know to bring a stroller…
Can someone be the worst and most adorable at the same time?
I actually have a picture of my dress napkin that I should have posted. Happened literally in the first five minutes of cocktail hour. Veggie dip on kelly green silk. Lovely.
The only kids allowed at our wedding were the ones in the wedding party. And we hired a sitter to watch them during the reception so the parents wouldn’t have to be bothered. Our gift for making their kids stand in 90 degree heat without cover during the ceremony.
I think you’re right. Even meeting Robin Williams on the street might be more exhausting than anything else listed. Marrying him would cause you to go immediately gray and shave thirty years off your life. Kind of like becoming president.
Ah… we (parents) can be a little self-involved sometimes, can’t we? Pretty much everyone had kids at this wedding so I don’t think anybody was getting in anyone’s way. But I think by not having kids at YOUR wedding, you were doing all your family members a BIG FAVOR.
Oh my, I don’t think I could handle both a plane and a wedding with a toddler in the span of one weekend. That’s when you respond: “regretfully declines”.
The video is very cute. Dance floors might be the new play pen. No cage, but why would they ever leave it?
There is nothing she loves more than being the center of attention. I have to check Mike’s phone to see if he got any of the “rolling trend” she started. It was really hilarious watching her rolling and then my sister pointing out that everyone else had followed suit. Rolling children everywhere! Mazzy is such a trendsetter.
I would like that golden horseshoe for my birthday, thank you. It’s in November so please boil it in water and then let it soak in bleach for the next five months before you give it to me.
OK, I kept thinking at each subhead > OMG. This has got to be the turn of the night. This is where it starts getting better right? Too funny? Did your daughter enjoy the after party????
We just returned from a wedding with our 5 yo last weekend. This post had me in hysterics (both for its humor and for the sad truth that there is little exaggeration in it).
My son was taking people out on the dance floor with his rendition of Saturday Night Fever, even though he’s never seen it. He also created a “cat” dance move that was part preschooler, part Austin Powers. Amazing.
ohhh my youngest is 20 and I had forgotten all of this lol And now I’m throwing myslelf into the same thing.my daughter is getting married in oct and her bridesmaid is now a single mum of 2 10 months apart, the elder just over 2. I will be looking after them during the ceremony and photos etc……argggggggggggg kill me now 🙂
No shit she was the worst wedding date ever, she is a child and children don’t belong at weddings. You must hate your uncle or someone in the wedding to have brought your kid. This isn’t just you, but everyone who breaks this cardinal rule.
Too funny! My favorite part has to be “using her silk dress as a napkin.”
She’s adorable
love the post, how you did the pictures was awesome.
thanks for visiting my blog
Actually, it was specifically requested by my uncle that I bring her. Her name was even on the invitation. I would never bring my child to someone’s wedding if they didn’t want kids there.
You are a brave, brave woman! Props for surviving a wedding with a kid!
Oh my word – that video is so adorable. You are so brave to bring a toddler to a wedding. So funny.
Okay haha this is funny.
Because I just got married last weekend.
Big church wedding, all that jazz.
I have a 2 year old son and a 10 month old daughter.
Make me a pie chart?! LOL
Oh, how I wish I could send you a picture of my 10 year old at last weekend’s Bar Mitzvah dressed as Jamiroquai. It was off the hizzook.
On the other hand, when we took the girl and her older sister to a wedding when they were 3 and 6 respectively, one of them, who shall remain unnamed, sighed and said, LOUDER THAN THE OFFICIANT, “Is this it? It is so BORING.”
I am planning payback at both kids’ weddings by saying “Sure, bring your toddlers!” on the invites.
New business idea: using the nursery at the church during the wedding. That video is too funny!
I literally laughed so hard at this that I started a coughing spell that sounded like I had bronchitis and then proceeded to pee my pants a little. Thanks a lot. 🙂
I came across your blog on pinterest and just read this and am laughing hysterically. We are flying with our 19 month old next month across country to attend a wedding and I know if the 5 hr flight doesn’t kill me the wedding will! She is even in the wedding which is going to add a whole other level of craziness. But hey you survived and I assume I will too? thanks for the laugh.
Julie
What a stressful date! We’re glad that Mazzy was not trampled by hora dancers and that she remained energetic for the entire wedding! We’re also glad to see that her dress remained in tact for the entire wedding – otherwise, we would definitely recommend a bib and just let her loose! For another formal affair, Mazzy can rock the terry velour bib that comes in our Trend Lab Deluxe gift set. She’d then be able to have her cake and eat it, too!
I have to say, the next time I am asked to be in a wedding, the answer is HELL NO! I was matron of honor, my husband was a groomsman, my two girls were flower girls & my boy was the ring bearer. Try that on for size! Oh & the bride expected me to help get her ready while getting everyone else (family, mother-in-law & the damn bridesmaids!), including myself, ready! Now, I just wish I would have seen this before I said yes! It’s easier to take them all to a funeral!
This past weekend, I took my two year old to a quinceañera. I’m a single parent, so I didn’t have a husband to help trade off baby watching duty. She had to empty her tiny bladder three times during the service (which was held outside, so she was already fidgety from the heat). During the reception, her energy was difficult to contain. When the main people weren’t doing their choreographed dances, I let her cut loose on the dance floor. She immediately had a following of all the other children in attendance between ages seven and one. I was a little surprised at how overall well behaved she was and at her ringleader abilities. But neither of us were wearing dry clean only clothes, so… Yeah, you win. 😉
[…] a sigh of relief. You might remember a post I wrote about Mazzy back when she was two, entitled "World's Worst Wedding Date." Since then, my kids have actually gotten much better at keeping it together at […]
Has anyone been to a wedding in the last twenty years or so and seen both tween and teen flowergirls dressed as 3 and 4 year olds? I have seen this twice,the first time was at a friends wedding in 2002.The three flower girls were 11 and 12 and all three were dressed in very short,white,poofy dresses with veils,lace anklets and white mary jane shoes!They each had a cloth diaper with ruffled rubberpants on under their dresses that stuck out part way! I couldnt believe what i was seeing!All three of them looked just like over grown toddlers!The second time was six years ago at a wedding in 2015 and the flowergirls were twin sisters,14 years old!They both were in white,midthigh length dresses with veils and had white tights on and cloth diapers and rubberpants under their tights that could be seen thru the tights! In the first wedding i actually asked the bride about the flowergirl outfits and she told me she wanted them to be like toddlers and they were fine with it!In the second wedding,the bride told me that her twin flowergirls had made their First Holy Communions 3 months earlier and had to wear the cloth diapers,rubberpants and the tights under their communion dresses,so she had both of them wear the diapers and rubberpants and tights under their flowergirl dresses also.