Ever wondered what your toddler's words would sound like if they came out of a grown man? "I want juice!" "I want to watch MY SHOWS!" "Hee hee hee, I just farted." Hmmm... could go either way, right?
But that isn't really the point of the new series from Matthew Clarke (video below) which uses a grown man to play his two-year-old daughter, supposedly using actual conversations the two of them have had.
This is only the first episode, so I look forward to many more which will no doubt include hilarity such as... grown men taking off their clothes and throwing them on the floor, grown men complaining about the meal you just made them and grown men forgetting to wipe themselves after they use the potty.
Wouldn't it be nice if your toddler told you to worry about yourself every once in awhile? Maybe suggested buying yourself an ice cream cone or taking a spa day while she fended for herself?
I mean, a two-year-old is perfectly capable of putting on clothes, making sure she eats enough vegetables and buckling herself into her own carseat, right?
I'm not really sure who Kelly Oxford is, but for some reason I follow her on instagram and twitter, along with several hundred thousand people.
On Instagram, she posts pictures of her kids along with gorgeous yet self-deprecating selfies, screen grabs of various magazine articles she appears in, ironic pop culture fodder like Stephanie Tanner in suspenders and the brilliant picture up top promoting her new book "Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar", which might have been designed specifically for this Gwyneth side-by-side.
It all feels like looking into a window of a party to which I have not been invited and I go back and forth between obsession and debating whether to unfollow.
Then she posts a tweet like the one below and I imagine we are best friends in an alternate universe where I am much much much cooler.
Two year-olds are usually skilled in areas like feeding themselves and stacking blocks, which makes little Kyle's newfound skill all the more impressive.
Kyle has mastered the art of 'LATE NIGHT BREAKING AND ENTERING'.
According to his parents, Kyle had a habit of sneaking into his sister's room to steal her stuff. When Big Sis complained, they told her to lock the door. Did that stop Kyle? Nope. He just grabbed his kid-friendly nail clipper and used it to pick the lock.
What is possibly worth the risk of Kyle's midnight escapade?
This is a LUVs commercial called "New Kid" from 2009 that I only saw for the first time today. It's over a minute long so I'm not sure if and where it ran, but I'm hoping it's the first time most of you see it too.
Then we can all forget that it's an advertisement and you can pretend I just gave you the gift of the funniest video you have ever seen.
Once upon a time, there was one book on parenting. It was called "Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care" and most of your mothers probably read it cover to cover.
Now there are so many parenting philosophies, it's mind-numbing. From tiger moms to helicopter parents to free-range to attachment to those croissant-wielding French, it seems like you have to pick a team before you can get to the nitty-gritty business of parenting.
As for me, I'm too busy trying to figure out what kind of mother has time to read a book, rather than subscribing to any specific school.
If you are like me and you're just trying to get as much sleep as possible without sending any of your children into early therapy, you'll appreciate the Portlandia video below.
Well, now famous children of the internet collide and the three of them have recorded an adorable song for Valentine's Day called "I Would Still Love You". The best part is their totally kid-friendly description of true love.
Now they just need the toddler ninja to hold them all at knife point and the circle of the internet will be complete.
Gangnam Style feels so 2012, but while everyone and their grandmother may have memorized the moves months ago (seriously, Grammy just did it in my kitchen claiming she learned it in her Zumba class), toddlers take a little longer to master choreography.
So please forgive the twins below for being a little behind the curve. They needed a few months of rehearsal before they were ready to show the world...
In the video below, Gavin McGinnes, self-defense expert, gives us all an important lesson in "How to Fight".
Some might think his attacker looks pretty harmless, but those people would not be parents. Parents know toddlers can be DEADLY. Especially when armed...
