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First of all, I want to thank everyone for your overwhelmingly positive response to “The Mommy Show”. With the exception of people outside the US (ulive says they are working on getting distribution internationally), either there were no negative reactions or people with negative reactions have kindly chosen to keep their opinions to themselves.

Or maybe everyone was so busy drooling over Taye Diggs, they forgot to pay attention to what I was doing.

Whatever. I’m going to pretend everyone loved it and continue to live in my little bubble of approval and positivity. It’s very pretty here and the food is fantastic.

In this week’s episode, Rachel Dratch comes over, watches my children while I go to the bathroom, makes clothespin cardboard animals and tries to collapse my double stroller. A good time is had by all.

Except Mazzy, who wanted Rachel to stop talking so she could “watch a show”.

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A few things I’d like to mention before I send you off to view the episode.

1) The flesh colored top of my maternity jeans makes a cameo appearance at :01 seconds.

2) The intro on the couch where I talk about the necklace Mazzy made me at school was re-shot and my hair looks like a crazy person. It is curled toward my face instead of away from my face, which apparently, makes a BIG DIFFERENCE. Two seconds later, when Rachel is on the couch, it is totally transformed and looks fine.

6a0133f30ae399970b017c38ae0666970b-800wi3) You might remember from my giveaway of Rachel’s book earlier this year, that our kids go to preschool together. This is why Rachel is wearing the same necklace as I am— because both our kids brought them home as gifts from school. However, that explanation didn’t make the final cut.

4) Buy Rachel’s book! It’s really funny and one of the only books I have made time to read since I had kids. Seriously, I have read three things. The Hunger Games Trilogy, Shades of Grey and Rachel Dratch’s book. Don’t laugh at my lack of reading! How do you think I make time to write for YOU GUYS every day???

5) I wasn’t lying. Mazzy really did insist I wear that necklace every morning for awhile. However, I would usually take it off before I got to work.

6) You might notice a big improvement in my comfort level on camera this episode. This is because a) I had the experience of seeing myself on camera after the Taye Diggs episode and b) Rachel Dratch is super easy to talk to. She’s really funny (obviously) but she also does the greatest thing a person can do while being interviewed by a novice on camera— she laughs at my jokes. I can’t even tell you how much easier that makes things.

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7) Remember last week when I talked about my lip pursing problem? This episode, I made a conscious effort to end it. Unfortunately, when I think to myself— Don’t do it! Don’t purse your lips!!!— I do something even worse. I LICK THE CORNER OF MY MOUTH WITH THE TIP OF MY TONGUE. This is why not everybody should be allowed on camera. Anyway, we cut most of them out but you can still catch a couple of weird mouth things if you look closely.

That being said, DON’T LOOK TOO CLOSELY!!!!

Then report back.