If you’ve been following me on Snapchat, you know I went to our summer house this weekend and due to some last minute scheduling changes, my husband had to pack for me. People loved seeing Mike’s selections so much, I thought it was a shame to let them disappear after 24 hours and should be commemorated for all eternity on the blog.
First, I should specify that the “scheduling changes” consisted of Mike deciding he wanted to leave early to avoid traffic. We usually come home from work, pack and then leave after dinner. But since we’ve started officially celebrating Shabbat on Friday nights (thanks to the Super Jews), that time has been pushed later and later. Mike thought it made more sense to eat dinner out at the house.
“Can you come home right now to pack and leave?”
“Ummm…not exactly. I’m meeting with my editor on Monday to discuss layout changes for the book and I’ve still got work left to do.”
“What if I got your stuff together and picked you up with the kids in an hour?”
“Uhhhh…sure. Do you think you can pack for me?”
“How hard could it be?”
SPOILER ALERT: Very hard.
Mike’s packing and pick-up went as planned. We got to the house early Friday, went grocery shopping and had Shabbat dinner just the four of us. It was actually the most relaxed family dinner we have had in a long time. I commend my husband for the decision to come out early. Then the kids went to bed and I put on a pair of pajamas I keep at the house.
The next morning we woke up, had pancakes, puttered around in our PJs and made plans for friends to come over at noon. That’s when I went through my bag for the first time looking for something to wear.
Uhhh… what the hell is this stuff…?
“Mike! Were you drunk when you picked out my clothes???”
“I just grabbed some stuff.”
“I CAN TELL.”
Not only was there no thought put into what clothing created actual outfits, even the individual items looked like a blind man had his dog pick them out.
For instance, I had to texted Mike to make sure he packed my white camisole because I usually wear it under a lot of my tops that are kind of see-through. I figured there would be less he could go wrong with, as long as he included this VERY IMPORTANT BASIC.
Well, apparently, Mike is not familiar with the word “camisole.” He thinks a camisole is something closer to a negligee and packed an item of clothing I haven’t worn since August 4th, 2007.
Did he question why I would ask for this? Nope! Maybe he thought I was planning something special. In any case, the robe was obviously not going to help me put together an outfit to welcome our lunch time guests.
What else did he pack?
A few days ago, I had taken two old dresses out of my closet and put them on the floor because I didn’t like them anymore and was intending to donate them to the salvation army.
Hmmm… wedding robe or dress meant for the garbage? This is a tough choice! I know what you are thinking— did he pack pants?
You bet he did! He packed a pair of my maternity pajama pants.
Completing the potential looks was a backless purple top. (I guess I could put my wedding robe underneath for modesty’s sake.)
And an equally revealing sweater.
Fyi, THIS IS WHY I ASKED FOR THE CAMISOLE.
I went through the bag again to see if I could unearth anything else and all I could come up with was a t-shirt that professed my undying love for root vegetables.
Ultimately, I put back on the same outfit I had worn in the car out to the house. Thank god the weekend is over and we are now home because after three days, I finally get to change my clothes.
MEN.
I mean, not all men, I suppose, but geez Mike. OPEN YOUR EYES NEXT TIME!
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I am sorry but I was laughing so hard I had to put my head on my desk. Excatly what my husband would pack too!
STOP! This made me LOL so hard! The wedding robe is the top! Sounds like my husband and I cannot wait to show him this- to which I’m sure he’ll reply “see?!” As if it’s normal for a husband to be clueless when it comes to women’s clothing!
This is the most hysterical thing I have read all week! Not a single pair of jeans, but two dresses and a backless shirt and a see through robe!!!! You have got to be kidding me. I pray you at least got some underwear!
This is the most random collection of clothes ever! You should definitely get Mazzy to pack for you next time.
Also, this makes me glad that my husband would grab several t-shirts and pair of jeans and call it good. Can’t go wrong with that.
This is so hilarious. It reminds me of when my husband had to pack for me when our baby came early! He brought his tshirts for me to wear and a bunch of other random things.
Tears in my eyes.
I love this post, it made me laugh so hard. I’m sorry that this is what he brought, but thank you for sharing it with the rest of us!
TEARS…I LOVE THIS AND HAVE TO SAY I DON’T THINK MY HUSBAND COULD DO ANY BETTER.
Hilarious!! I feel like this would be a fun challenge to issue your readers! Let your husband pack a bag for you and post a picture with the contents and a hashtag, like: #whenyourhusbandpacksforyou 🙂 I bet there would be some goodies!!
Great idea! But only if I get to pack a backup bag too, lol.
I’m dying of laughter! I need to breathe.
Thank you so much for the Monday afternoon laugh!!
This was hilarious, laugh-out-loud funny!
Official man comment here. I had to Google camisole myself and you should have called it a “tank top” because that’s what it looks like to me. I have learned that “capris” are what men would call “high waters” and pants to me mean jeans or khakis (thank you spell check for getting that one right).
And matching? Yeah. Until they make Garranimals for adults you can probably give up on that one. I consider it a win (for others) that I don’t leave the house naked at any given moment. For important occasions, I enlist my wife’s opinions on outfit choice.
Brian, *Like*!
Sent the link to my wife for a good laugh because this is exactly what would happen if she asked me to do the same thing. Women’s clothes are so confusing, I’m still not entirely sure what a cardigan is and they make those for men too!
And this is why my poor husband gets detailed lists, often with diagrams, of what I need him to do when he offers to help or to take one of my “to do” items. 😀
HAHA. I’m cackling at my desk reading this. So funny. I might have to get snapchat just to follow you.
I work for an airline and commute by plane for work. My husband had to meet me on my island for an urgent Doctor appointment same day. He had to bring our (then) 2 month old son. He had to pack for all of us for 2 nights. For me he packed a bunch of maternity clothes that were folded and packed in a bin labelled “Maternity”, no underwear of any kind, and my deodorant. Not the pre-packed toiletry bag I keep (I travel a lot for work) or any of the clean and hung up clothes in my closet. For the baby he brought 2 diapers, a bottle, and Several outfits from the 2T bin. Thank god there was a Ross and a drugstore downstairs from our hotel.
????. Mike does get “some” credit for offering to pack, as my husband would never venture down that dark path to hell! If mine did offer to pack, he would ask for a detailed list (of not only the clothing, but also where to find the various items of clothing)!!!
My husband once packed a weekend’s clothes for me because I had to meet him at the cottage from a work trip… Let’s just say he forgot the shoes, bras and pants… I had to pretty much go into the nearest town to old navy and buy stuff or I’d have been in heels and skirts…
Random side note- I had baby #2 less than 2 months ago and have found the open side shirts like your white stripe one is the BEST nursing shirt with a nursing tank under it. I’ve been scouring the Internet trying to find more!
You had clothes? Kudos to your husband. Mine? Took my suitcase out of the the truck and put it into the laundry room as we came home from one place and had to quickly leave for another.
Told him to grab the prepped food from the fridge and pack up the other stuff we needed to to bring for 4 days in a snow bound cabin while I drove his parents home.
Got back from dropping them off, jumped in the truck and off we went. Imagine my delight to find out my suitcase never made the trip. No underwear, no pants, no tops, no pajamas, no toiletries. Did I mention this was for 4 days in a snow bound cabin. Ya. Still married.
My husband packed a bag for me when I had emergency surgery. Keep in mind, I had a 5 week old baby. He packed the tiniest thong he could find and made sure it was on the very top when the nurse opened the bag to help me. Such a kidder.
Had that problem once…… he packed me a bunch of t-shirt and two pair of capris, and thankfully proper undergarments… not bad if we were going somewhere warm but we were going to Wisconsin in October… His explanation we usually share shirts anyway and the pants were folded up in a bucket in the corner (the summer clothes bucket I was getting ready to pack away for winter.) Thank goodness one of his cousins and I were about the same size. It has become a rule that if he is packing for me, I have to give him exact instructions on what I want him to grab for me.
I suggest packing your bag or repacking when you get back to the city. Or start keeping more clothes at the house. I usually over pack whenever we go anywhere. My husband on the other hand under packs. Case in point, our honeymoon to Newport, RI. Last week in May in the northeast, along the shore, you pack for all kinds of weather, not the husband. He only packed shorts and one pair of pants. A Noreaster landed and didn’t leave…..he got very wet and very cold. We had to buy him more clothes. He is no longer allowed to pack for himself.
You had me at tremendous maternity pants. Too funny
When I had our first baby, I was unexpectedly kept in the hospital for a week before and a week after. I had nothing ready. The day baby was born, I asked him to go home and get me some of my rattiest old underwear because I knew they would end up ruined anyway. He came back with one brand new pair of white underwear.
This is great! My husband totally did this couple weeks ago for me and also didn’t turn out so well. I was even specific where the items where that I asked for and yet I got four pairs of pants and one shirt which were all from my pajama drawer. ?
I just asked my boyfriend what he’d pack for me (we’re going away for almost 3 weeks this Friday) and he says he will just pick up the 5 top most items from all the drawers and dump it into a bag. No folding required! Lol
This had me laughing so hard when I saw it on snapchat. You are my favorite snapchatter by far!
I laughed so hard when I was watching all this on snapchat. I mean, seriously! The tremendous pants comment was too much for me. Dying.
I have often joked that I should let my hubs pack for us one time when we go out of town, to give him an idea of how much effort I put into it. And then we realize we would have to spend ALL THE MONEY on the things he neglected to pack, like the kids. We once had to go to the post office with both girls, he got them into the car and when we got there realized neither of them had shoes. We stood there like white trash parents with our bare-footed children soaking up all the nastiness from the post office floor. On a side note, I handed him a basket of laundry and asked him to put it in the washer, which is what he did. What he did NOT do was actually add soap and run the load. He argued that I did not specifically say I wanted him to actually wash the clothes. I guess he’s got me there. :/ This post was SO funny! Because it’s true.
I snorted aloud when I got to the part about the “tremendous” maternity pants. ROFL.
Oh why didn’t I check my Snapchat all weekend! I got it just to follow you after all. Very cute story. LOL at my desk with tears in my eyes.