There's no easy way to say this but… my biggest fear has been realized. No, not the shark in the pool thing.
A MAN WALKED IN ON ME PUMPING AT WORK.
It was a young man, who probably didn't even know breast pumps existed, and now we are both scarred for life.
FYI- Originally, I was going to write this post as "The Ten Phases of a Male Co-Worker Walking in on You While Your Pumping" but I couldn't get past "Phase #1: Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod…."
Then I thought I would make a chart ranking different levels of embarrassment with "male co-worker walking in on you pumping" being at the top. But the moment is so fresh in my mind that I honestly can't think of anything else to put in the chart that comes close.
Wearing the same dress to prom as your arch-enemy? Pfffffft. Peeing when you sneeze at the supermarket? Puh-lease. Dress getting stuck in the back of your pantyhose? Been there, done that, I'll do it again if it guarantees A MALE CO-WORKER WILL NEVER WALK IN ON ME PUMPING AGAIN.
It was bad, guys. Like really, really bad.
First, just so you understand the exact scenario, I was not at my regular office. I'm currently editing a spot at a production facility so instead of my normal pumping area, I've been using their co-ed bathroom. It's one stall so I just lock the door. There's no counter so I have to balance my pump on the sink and do my business standing up.
Yesterday, right before I left for the day, I stopped in the bathroom to pump. I like to pump before I leave because Harlow has usually just finished a bottle when I get home.
I took my shirt off. Unhooked those little clippies on my maternity bra. Put my strapless pumping bra on. You know, the really sexy nippleless bra with the three-year-old breastmilk stains on it. I assembled the pump, plugged it in, attached myself, etc. etc.
I did everything except (as I was about to learn) LOCK THE FREAKIN' DOOR.
I guess it stands to reason that if you pump two to three times a day, every day, for five months in a row, odds are, one of those times you're gonna forget to lock the door. Although the odds that the one time you forget to lock the door, a twenty-five-year-old guy is going to bumble his way in without warning, are pretty slim.
Let me tell you— BUCKING THE ODDS IS A HOOT!
Also, when the guy in question opens the unlocked door, sees you but doesn't really understand what's happening, so he just kind of stands there paralyzed while you scream internally— I AM NOT A BEAR IN THE WOODS. DO YOU THINK IF YOU STAND THERE NOT MOVING I WILL MISTAKE YOU FOR A TREE AND GO ABOUT MY BUSINESS??? GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!
A half second later (the longest half second in history), when he finally snapped to and started apologizing profusely (DON'T APOLOGIZE! GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!), my first instinct was to try to quickly slam the door in his face but 1) I was attached to the wall so the sudden movement made the breast pump fall to the ground, and 2) turns out, it was one of those heavy metals doors that's impossible to slam because it has some sort of pressurized thing happening to ensure it closes slowly.
PICTURE THIS: 1) Door flung open to reveal me topless hooked up to milk machine. 2) Machine falls to ground still attached to breasts. 3) Despite pushing with all my might, door closes at speed of turtle.
Anyway, since this was not my regular office, I had never seen the manboy that entered the bathroom before. At this moment, I know he was wearing stripes and glasses but I cannot picture his face. I'm hoping he can picture tubes and nipples but he cannot summon my face either.
And I'm thinking it's finally time to employ some sort of official "pumping privacy" sign. Here are five options…
Has anyone ever walked in on you pumping? DO TELL.
I’d die. My 85 year old aunt wanted to see how a pump worked. I told her it was not worth her while and she luckily stopped popping popcorn for the viewing party. But a coworker walking in? Yikes. Especially with the awesome nipple-less hands-free bra (which I also own one with a multitude of milk stains). Your door hangers should come with breast pumps from this day forward to avoid future situations for any woman … or unknowing male coworker.
I got caught by a window washer. I’m on the 11th floor with no similarly tall buildings nearby, so I figured I was safe to pump in my office with my blinds open. My consolation was (1) I never have to speak to this person; and (2) I’m pretty positive he would not recognize my face.
Funny! I bet that’s one young man who will never again open ANY door without knocking. 😉
I got walked in on once by a male coworker also. I had stopped putting up my “do not disturb” sign on my office door by then because I felt that a) the closed door was enough of a signal in that particular office culture, and b) I foolishly thought that everyone knew what I was doing… 😉
I also had a pretty good double-pumping setup where I was able to brace the horns against my desk and pump hands-free with the actual pump motor part sitting on the floor under my desk. My shirt could be pulled down over the horns somewhat, and most of my body was behind the desk, so not much was visible.
So at some point this male coworker did the “knock and then enter without waiting for a response” thing, and asked me some work-related question, and we had a brief conversation about it. Only at the very end, as he was about to leave, he gave a small frown and asked “what’s that noise?” and I very matter-of-factly replied, “It’s my breast pump.” He turned BRIGHT red and left at top speed. 😉 And he, too, learned a valuable lesson that day about opening a closed door!
Yes and recently! We were at my in-laws for my nephew’s college graduation party. I was pumping in their guest bedroom. I was wearing a shift dress so I had to unzip it in the back and pull it down to my waist to pump. There wasn’t a lock on the door, but since everyone was downstairs or outside, I didn’t think anyone would come upstairs (let alone come into the guest bedroom.) Well, you can imagine my surprise when my 22-year-old nephew and his girlfriend walked in on me! I was just sitting on the bed facing them with my boobs hanging out and hooked up to my pump. Talk about some good birth control I provided for those two! Aunt of the year right here!
Oh my gosh, sorry! That is pretty mortifying! I like the sign about being topless, but not in a good way. Oi. I never made it to the pump-in-public phase, but if I do with this one, I’ll be sure to LOCK THE DOOR.
Oh my god, Ilana. Oh my god.
This truly is my worst nightmare realized. Once, I finished pumping at work and on the way out, realized I hadn’t locked the door. I’m not Catholic, or in any way religious, but I did Google “how to say a Hail Mary” and said about four or five of them.
I was walked in on twice in one pumping session. I was working an event hosted in a church’s community room and when I needed to pump I just had to find an empty room, none of which had locks, all of which had the little windows in the doors. I found some easel paper to put over the door and wrote “privacy please” on the paper. I guess that doesn’t mean anything to little old church ladies. Not like it’s not bad enough whipping your boobs out in a church (and I’m not even particularly religious) but then to have 2 different women walk in on me is awesome. Even when they opened the door and I said “I’m pumping,” they just came right on in and grabbed whatever they needed and walked back out.
One of my good friends had the president of our company walk in on her while she was pumping, mind you in a supply closet that is normally locked. She was wearing a dress that day! So every time he sees her (which is often) he knocks and says is it safe to come in!
That is hilarious, well played!
After my son was born, he went to the NICU so my first attempt at “nursing” was with the pump. I kick my husband out of the hospital room bc after all he had witnessed I just couldn’t have him watch this spectacle, too. He goes in the hallway to “guard the door”. I am sitting on the bed, stripped of my hospital gown wearing only those net panties they give you… Not pretty. I’m trying to work the pump, hold the horns, not burst into tears, etc.
THEN, the hospital dietary lady comes in to TAKE MY FOOD ORDER! Ahhhh! She has her little checklist and tiny putt-putt golf pencil. After seeing that I am “breasting” (I swear she said that) she offers to fill out the form for me. Uh, thank you. Worst of all, my husband let her in. He thought official hospital business trumped my desire for privacy and didn’t even try to stop her. Ugh. Not a good day.
Oh dear God in Heaven! Mortifying does not even begin to cover it. I couldn’t even stand for my husband to see me pump. I mean, watching me nurse was a beautiful thing. He loved seeing me that way. Strapped to a contraption that literally made me look like a milk cow? No way, no how, not ever!!!
I had to pump in my office, at my desk. There was no pumping room and I was told it was at my desk or in the bathroom – if I only knew what I know now. I put a sign on the door and it never kept people out. It said something like please come back in 30 minutes and knock before entering. I used a nursing cover over all the sexy pump stuff if my office mate was around, but it never failed, and is seemed like my boobs were on display for some dumbass that couldn’t read the big note on the door. What I needed was a sign taped to my boobs that said this awkward moment is made possible by your inability to follow directions.
I pump at my desk, in a glass office with a 20-something male intern to the left of me….. Most days boss comes to my office and asks me if i have clothes on, to which i always have to look down before I reply-just in case.
Oh. My. Gosh. I’m so sorry. And I’m really sorry for laughing about it. I’m betting it was so horrifying for him, too, that he wouldn’t recognize you fully dressed. I gotta say, mom’s that pump after they return to work are pretty much heroes in my eyes. It sounds like so much effort, and I know the few times I’ve pumped I’ve gotten hardly any milk out, so high fives all around to those of you that do it consistently!
One of our maintenance people unlocked my office door while I was pumping to get the garbage. When I yelled, “Don’t come in!” she proceeded to wave me away saying, “oh, honey, I’ve seen it all before,” while leaving the door wide open to grab the recycling. Weakly, I responded, “maybe, but all of those people in the hallway haven’t…” UNTIL NOW.
I work in a middle school. I was pumping in an office that is used once a week. I checked in with the main occupant, who recently stopped pumping herself, to see if I could use her space. With her permission, I put my “do not disturb” 8×10 sheet with the cute cow up and locked the door. I got to my business with the requisite pumping bra and all. Now, I have been walked in on frequently by other middle aged ladies, and they are just in and out. No biggie, as I am usually fairly well covered. Not today! The assistant walks in, sees what I am doing, says,”oh!” (she’s Canadian, so you can hear it correctly) and proceeds to rifle through the office with the door open. Finally, I had to yell, “Gail, close the door!!”. See, because I sit right by the door opening, but too far with all of my equipment to reach the wide open door! Thankfully, no middle school boys saw me. Talk about an anatomy lesson!! I did, however, get walked in on by a middle school girl in another building. She has terrible health issues and I was in the health room office. So, that was honestly less awkward!!
I’m expecting my first child. My Mom tells me stories of her pumping at work (and this was 32 years ago). Her machine was so loud with the door closed people could hear it outside her office. Her boss would walk by bang on the door to her office and shout “lunch time”. Funny but inappropriate, glad to see times have changed.
I was new to the office after my first baby. As an attorney, I worked late into the evening. Since there was no lock on my office door, my only protection against would-be invaders was a paper sign on the door. This stopped everyone except our cleaning people, who would barrel in the door repeatedly without so much as knocking. I replaced my original sign with a bilingual piece that included a big red Do Not Enter sign. They still ignored it. I moved the sign from eye level, to directly over the door knob. Still no help. I placed a chair in front of the door on the inside and they STILL manhandled their way in, over my screaming “NO!” which they apparently could not hear over the hum of the vacuum. Finally, FINALLY, I got permission from the powers that be to get a lock on the door. But the sound of someone walking by my office is now enough to completely stop my milk flow.
I have to work out of town at client offices occasionally. On my first out of town and pumping, I was almost embarrassed to ask for a space (that locks, but was kindly told other employees had pumped in the past and I could use Room A, which locked. First pump went fine, second pump of the day, the little old church lady knocked, I yelled I would be a minute, then I was frozen in horror as she WALKED IN! She was so embarrased, but not sure what to do! Second day I was freaked to try again, and sure enough, I locked the door (triple checked) and a supervisor walked in on me! She didn’t seem to notice, told me she BF and pumped her kids for the first year. After that, I went back to the administration and asked if there was a problem with the lock on the door. It was THEN that they informed me the lock works, but they just leave the key in the first drawer of the file cabinet so people can always get it! Thanks, would haven appreciated that tip YESTERDAY! Second pump, day 2, I stole the key and locked the door, but was still waiting for someone to basically break thru the door with a fire axe or something by that point. (At the office, I’ve also had a male supervisor buzz me on the phone even though he knew what I was doing, just because I forgot to hit Do Not Disturb and he wanted to prove a point. Thanks Boss.)
Nobody ever walked in on my but my “lactation room” was an empty office right next to an occupied office. I worked with ALL men (only 3 other girls in the whole office and all over 50) and they all knew what I was doing in there so it was awkward coming out carrying all the paraphernalia. But the kicker is my pump was LOUD and they next office guys desk was against the wall I sat next to and I know he heard the constant “whirwhirwhir” of my pump. I still don’t look him in the eye 2 years later…
I love that you didn’t mention it until he asked.
It was not until I had my second son that I had occasion to pump in front of mirror. It was my first glance at the full Monty and to say the least, I was horrified. The view from the top isn’t pretty, but the frontal view is worse. I had no idea how dramatic. No wonder we are deflated post pump!
I was pumping in my office in an elementary school and there was NO lock on the door. I had a HUGE, yellow piece of paper covering the large window that clearly stated DO NOT ENTER: PUMPING!!! I had sent out an email when I came back to work explaining the situation and the adults, for the most part, respected my needs. One teacher, however, was having trouble with one of my students (did I mention that I taught Special Ed?), and brought him into my office because she couldn’t handle him. (This teacher was also an idiot, but that’s another story). So there I was, at my desk, back to the well marked door (thank goodness), pumping away, when this ditz storms in dragging my 9 year old student behind her!
Suffice it to say, while I remained calm during the incident, and was fairly covered (you could see a little belly and maybe a little of side boob, he knew EXACTLY what was going on, and she got an earful afterwards. Luckily, he had a younger brother and wasn’t unfamiliar with pumping.
Epilogue: The student’s mother was called, she understood, the students wasn’t scarred for life (though I almost was), I had to have a meeting with the Principal and the offending teacher to remind her that DO NOT ENTER means EXACTLY that.
I never had a man walk in on me, but being asked to be a bridesmaid in not one but two weddings shortly after giving birth meant I had to pump in the very-public, nowhere-to-hide restrooms at both wedding venues. At the first wedding, I just stood by the sink w/my shirt drapped over my chest, with wedding party members and the bride & groom’s family and friends trapsing in & out, some asking, “What’s that sound?” All women though, thankfully. It was much more embarassing to have those same people (ALL of them!) walk in on me while yanking my Spanx on in the closet 30 minutes later. At the 2nd wedding, we had a full spa day prior to arriving to the venue, so I was very swollen & in pain by the time I found an outlet to plug into. The venue was an old house with antique doors and knobs that (I didn’t know) didn’t lock properly… plus there was a WALL OF WINDOWS behind the toilet (& not the frosted kind either) and TWO doors in & out of the restroom. I locked one, but failed w/the other… and the photographer walked in on me. Again, she was female, but PLEASE! Knock! When I got up to re-lock the door she’d come in through, I actually broke the antique knob… great. At least the door wasn’t going anywhere now.
“this awkward moment is made possible by your inability to follow directions.”
Perfect!! I love it 🙂
By law now your employer has to provide a private place for pumping (under the Obama care) not a rest room also they are not supposed to stop you of pumping as many times as you like during the day. (That is what I was told by someone else who was pregnant by their employer)
Oh, Ilana. I have no words. I feel like you should be given a Purple Heart or something. I have to say, though, anyone who goes back to work and continues to breastfeed is a hero in my eyes – pumping was a NIGHTMARE for me.
I had my daughter while in grad school full time. Fortunately there was a “nursing mother’s room” on campus where I could go pump whenever. It also happened to be the School of Nursing faculty lounge but nursing moms are supposed to have first dibs and hang a neon orange sign on the LOCKED door that says “DO NOT DISTURB. Room in use” letting everyone know to stay out. I had several female faculty members walk in despite the sign and one male faculty. He was beyond mortified…must have missed the sign.
I also had to pump in one of my Friday morning classes that was 3 hours long but since it was a group work class and my group was my school BFFs we had a small study room to ourselves and I used to just hook up and pump with a shawl over me while we worked. They became totally immune to the sound of the pump and quite a few times invited the TA into the room while I was pumping. whatever, I was pretty well covered and I’m proud of what I did for my kid 🙂
No, nobody ever walked in on me pumping. And thank God, because I found pumping in front of my own husband mortifying enough!
Happened to me!! I had a sign on the closed office door, but there was no lock. Our (male) CEO walked in on me! Not just once, but TWICE IN THE SAME DAY! More mortifying for him than for me, I think. 🙂 http://5shields.blogspot.com/2011/05/it-finally-happened.html
I would definitely go with the light blue sign “Do you still view female breasts as an attractive thing? Then do yourself a favor and stay out.”
I’ve never been walked in on by strangers in public, but I think just about my entire family and friends have seen my boobs attached to a pump.
Hopefully he didn’t recognize who you are, go to your blog, see this post, and comment on it.
hahahahahahaha. I’m so so sorry. I’m laughing so hard right now.
I used to have my therapy sessions over the phone while I pumped, in my office bathroom. I had to kind of shout over the bathroom fan and the pump motor, which was fun to picture someone standing outside of the door listening to me double-mortify myself.
Also one time my older, gay and very outspoken male creative director caught me taking the little breast milk bags out of the freezer. I’m not sure what I used to keep them in.
But yours is way worse than either of those. Pictures are worth a thousand words. And indelible in a young 25 yr old boy’s mind. Maybe he’ll always be nice to the women he dates now. And just be thankful it’s not some young hotshot new creative at your agency who you would have to see every day! Who would photoshop something cruel or something! Shuddering just thinking of it.
I think La Perla needs to make some nursing bras and I think you should buy yourself one just because.
I think a simple “Stay the Fuck Out” in a lovely pink Helvetica font would do the trick. 😉
That would be an awesome sign. 😀
I do that too. And only one person has walked in on me, a woman, and I was already done and just pooring the milk into the storage bottle. I guess you could say I’ve dodged that bullet, so far.
Also got caught by a window washer once. 😀
This is my story exact. I’m on the 11th floor too!
I have been walked in on a half dozen times, the first time by a twenty something in my office on my FIRST day back to work! I was so embarrassed, and starting rethinking my decision to pump, but what my husband said saved me – Honey, you are feeding our child, and that is really something special, he should be embarrassed, not you. Think about what you are doing and how special it is.
Ever since then every time it happens I remind myself of that and feel a little comfort, although it doesn’t help when you look that person in the eyes the next time. Who can’t read a freaking sign??! But 9 months later I am still going, so that is what counts. Much luck to you! If you make signs you should market them, I would DEFINITELY buy one 🙂
I worked as a retail manager when Caitlyn was born, and there was only ONE space I could use to pump. It was the manager’s office. That 6 other people had keys to. I always put up a sign. I always got annoyed grumbles when I had to kick out another manager who was doing their work. And I always, always, always, got walked in on. Every other manager in the store, save for the one 60 year old guy with 4 kids who fucking KNEW BETTER, saw my tits. Every single one of them.
After about the 4th time my boss walked in on me, she suggested that I start using one of our fitting rooms. You know, the filthy ones with NO accessible outlets to plug my pump into. I suggested she go back to 4th grade and learn to fucking read.
I hope he googles something like “what to do when you walk in on someone pumping at work” to help him cope and he sees this posts. Because you know he is calling his therapist right now from the HORROR.
I laughed out loud and read this to my co-workers at lunch.
I have my own office and used it instead of the lactation room. My door is set to lock automatically when closed, so that was never a concern. But just KNOWING there were people on the other side of the door gave me “boob milk fright” and I could barely produce a drop at work. I lasted 3 days at that. Then at home my 4 year old walked in on my when I was pumping, looked at me all curious and just said “you’re like a cow”.
Anyways, I’d be mortified- MORTIFIED- if that happened, even if it was my “work husband” whom I’ve known for 16 years. We share a lot of info, but even that would be a tit much….(no, that was not a typo!).
My fellow female co-worker gave me this funny looking cow to attach to the door nob of the empty office I pump in to let folks know not to enter. She said she used it too so I figured the whole office knew what it meant. Nope, I was wrong because our IT guy walked right in on me and then stood there to tell me it was ok – he has three kids and his wife had to pump too! I wanted to scream at him – GET OUT! This happened just after I had my first who is now three. Now I have a 4 month old and am pumping again in that same office – with the cow and a note on the locked door. Yesterday, I ran into that same IT guy and he just had to bring up the fact that he saw my cow and do I remember that time he walked in on me… Good lord – how could I forget, thanks for bringing it up again!
I was walked in on too…and there was a sign on the door handle. I agree – mortify. It was two guys who happened to be doing some work in our building that day so thankfully I will never see them again! Needless to say – I made a bigger sign!
Oh.my.gosh, that was freakin hilarious and I feel for you!! Thank God you don’t work with this guy every day, though.
I pumped for a year for both kids and never got walked in on anywhere, thank the LORD!!! That is not a pretty sight.
Your signs are perfect. HA!
Oh my! Sorry for your embarrassment, but this post was hilarious. I love signs #1 and #4. I only pumped while in grad school, in a room with a keypad (number) lock and a deadbolt and a sign outside. The only experience I have that comes close to this (but not really) is when I was trying to nurse my then 3-month-old in Central Park. I thought I’d picked out a quiet bench in a semi-isolated area (somewhere around W. 100th St.), when a homeless man came up to me and WOULD NOT STOP TALKING TO ME. I have no idea if he realized there was a distracted infant attached to my boob under the cover, but it seemed like that man would never leave!
At my baby shower, shortly after the baby was born, I announced to the guests–I’m going to pump now, in grandma’s room, so I’ll be back in 20 minutes. Specifically had an individual conversation about it with an uncle of mine because he made some joke about it. Then five minutes later while I was pumping, door locked, in the room I had announced to the entire party I would be in, the same uncle walked in. When I yelled at him “GET OUT!” he got all pissy and butthurt about it and insisted he didn’t KNOW I was pumping in there. I told him off afterwards. He’ll knock from now on.
Currently I’m in a class on campus that goes from noon until six pm so I have to pump mid-session. Luckily I’m in the child & family studies and human relations building, so these are the folks who fought for my right to do just this. I haven’t had an issue. My male teacher even apologized profusely over and over again to me one day when he forgot to unlock the conference room for me and I was late back to class because I had to track down someone else with the key. I’m very grateful ^_^
I got walked in not once, not twice but three times by the same custodian when my door was locked and I had a sign up. On the third time I yelled at him like a mad woman. I work in Berkeley, CA and of all places, you would think they would have a clue!!!! My daughter was at 11 months and this is when I asked the pediatrician if I could please put her on cow’s milk. And they wonder why women stop breast feeding! Nothing screws with that let down like a surprise visitor while pumping.
what I got from this (besides a water-through-nose laugh) is tha YOU ARE STILL PUMPING despite the very inconvenient circumstances for doing so. Kudos.
Nooooo waaaaay!!! Monetize those door hanger thingys right quick.
I emailed this to the two other mothers that are pumping everyday at our office. Thanks for the good laughs!
OMG!! I’m sorry, I just cannot think of a proper comment because I’m having trouble enough typing!! Just laughing my ass off!!
I was walked in on twice during my pumping time; once by a janitor when I was working late and once by a co-worker who was not in on the, “If my door is closed, not come in,” policy I’d instituted among my regular team. I don’t belive either had any idea what was going on. It didn’t bother me either time. Was fun to laugh about with the secretaries afterwards.
Gotta say, I’d be amused. Some young men might benefit from the realization that we not only make babies, but make their food and that’s what those things are really designed for. Who’s to say that seeing you like that didn’t affect him the same way seeing a man with his tiny baby held so gently tends to affect us?
Plus, you can most definitely say you probably weren’t being objectified in a sexual way with your tits out for once LOL
Seriously, laugh. It’s good for you and baby.
Ah! Exact same thing happened to me!!
I was walked in on several times, and I had a sign on the door. Apparently a ‘ PUMPING IN PROGRESS! MOOOOOOO!’ with a pictures of a cow did not trigger a thought from my co-workers to knock. Luckily my back was always turned so no show.
I did have many uncomfortable conversations with my male coworkers who were overly interested in pumping. I work in anesthesia as a nurse anesthetist and to get a pump break I had to tell my doctor I was working with what times I needed to get out to pump. For 10 months, my boobs were the discussion with many of the male doctors. Nothing more disturbing than talking about the act of pumping with your male coworkers. But I got over it, and luckily I had a very supportive group, even if they were a little to curious!
Someone once walked in on me while I was pumping with my office door closed. I put up a do not disturb sign and blocked the door with a trash can but it didn’t have a lock. I didn’t see who it was–he/she made a surprised sound and then closed the door very quickly. Although I was embarrassed, I decided that the trespasser was probably far more mortified than me. I’ve always been curious to know who it was and whether they were traumatized for life!
Wow! Almost had hot tea shoot out my nose from laughing so hard. So sorry you had this happen, but you put such a hilarious spin on it.
Oh my gosh, I am just starting ‘the pumping’ again and this made me laugh out loud just picturing it. Mortifying but hilarious in your storytelling. Maybe in hindsight someday for you too…
I’ve had some close calls, but luckily my only real audience has been my 2 year old. Unfortunately, she now tells everyone that I pump my boobies for milk.
Every male in my office walked in on me, thankfully I use a nursing cover so nothing could be seen but the noise of the pump and the imagination of it is enough. Think I’m going to get a lock for my door this time around.
Oh god. I was walked in on once, and it was….horrible. I’m a high school teacher, and was pulling a late nighter in my classroom. I placed my large DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door just in case the janitor came by, took all the doodads out, hooked myself into an outlet by my desk that unfortunately directly faces the door, drew all the blinds, and went about my business. About half way through my door BURSTS open and there’s a small elementary school boy standing there, staring at me in total shock. He then runs out, not closing the door behind him. The doors in our classrooms lock if they are opened forcefully enough to accommodate our handicapped students. So the door is WIDE OPEN as I’m desperately trying to undo and cover myself at the same time (mentally cursing my decision to wear a dress), when the boy’s father and brother walk in. Apparently the boy had ran out yelling to his dad that a lady was “dying” in room 7, and they had come to see what he was talking about. The father thankfully reacted very quickly, but his two sons definitely got an eyeful. Apparently the highschoolers’s soccer practice had run late, and the little boy had been looking for the bathroom. It was probably the worst experience of my life, and the next semester I had the older boy in my class, so not only do I see him every other day but I get to have parent teacher conferences with his father every 6 weeks.
I’ve never been walked in on because thankfully I was able to get a lock placed on my office door. I also hung up a sign of a farmer milking a cow. That said, I was on a teleconference once and forgot to mute my line. All of a sudden, my boss said “What the hell is that noise?” About 2 seconds later, I got an instant message saying, “Shit! I know exactly what that noise is. Sorry.” He actually felt bad but we got a good laugh out of it.
This had me rolling! I can not even imagine!
Sorry but this is hilarious. When that boy has his own kids and his wife pumps, he will suddenly remember this story. Until then, it will be buried deep in his subconscious… next to that time he walked in on his parents having sex. PS: Love the Do Not Disturb signs!!!!
sounds to me like window washing would be a pretty entertaining job… 🙂
Ah! This is my worst nightmare! As a soon-to-be mom that plans to return to work after baby, pumping will no doubt quickly become the bane of my work life! Thank you so much for sharing your story, as well to all the ladies who have had similar experiences. I’m sure I will soon have my own to add to the list, motherhood certainly should come with a sense of humor!
Never have I been so thankful that I am able to work from home. 15 months of pumping would NOT have happened if the scenario above was a possibility!
I know it was mortifying, but THANK YOU for sharing. Best laugh I’ve had all week. 🙂
It wasn’t a coworker—it was a maintenance guy who wanted some measurements for upcoming renovations. The door was locked. I had the “Do Not Disturb” sign up (maybe I needed one of yours?). And … he let himself in and said he “didn’t think anyone was in [there].” I don’t know whether it’s fortunate or not that I hadn’t actually whipped anything out yet; I was still getting the pump set up.
I was using the first aid office, which didn’t have a lock. I hung my sign up, said Hi to the lady working in the outer office, and went about my business. 15 minutes later, she walks right in, laughs, says, “Oh, I forgot you were in here” and proceeds to go over and dig through the cabinet.
Needless to say I made them find me a different room- one with a lock on the door.
Never a pumping incident for me, but I did have a close friend over with his wife and their five year old and new baby girl. She was breatfeeding, and I totally respect that- I did for my kiddos. However, she breastfed in the middle of my living room- with my eight year old and five year old- plus my seven year old son. She just took her shirt off and began. That prompted questions that were quite fun to answer…
Having a stranger walk in on you is one thing, but I have to say, I don’t find pumping as humiliating as many mothers have been saying. My son was in the NICU for months never learning to nurse, so all we have is the pump. Because I use it so frequently I whip it out all the time, in front of my husband, mother-in-law, sister-in-law and friends, sometimes without even asking, and pump away! I don’t want to miss a pump, and why should I be alone for such a large portion of my day?
Wow, these door hangers are incredibly anti-woman and anti-BF. Important topic, but re-evaluate the messages you’re sending about the BF woman (unsexy, topless “not in a good way”). WOW. Just wow.
I am a pumper. Ive pumped for about 9 months now. At the beginning, I was totally in secret spy mode every time I had to pump. Id scope out a good place, watch to be sure everyone in the surrounding area was busy, then sneak in and shut the door. But, after my mom walked in one day while visiting, then my sister, and my husband and my older kids, and my mother in law, Ive just given up. I keep my shirt on to kind of lay over the tops of the horns to cover it up a little, but I figure, if they dont want to see it, they will knock or let me know they need me through the door. Boobs make milk, the pump gets it out. End of story. I refuse to be embarrassed by doing the best I can to feed my baby in a healthy way. Since she went on a nursing strike, pumping is the only other way I have to do so, so there you have it. Is it pretty? No. Is it fun? No, not really. But its what I do.
Social intimacy is the sharing time together around life and life
cycle events. Being able to make the jail system believe you are slowly reforming is a great idea.
If you’ve done your job a little bit too well he might actually have fallen asleep.