Mazzy is four-years-old. Four and a half, she likes to remind me. Every day she is doing things that surprise me, scare me and make me realize my little girl is growing up fast.
In September, Mazzy will be going to kindergarten. Something I haven’t quite processed yet. When people ask how Mazzy feels about going to kindergarten, I always say Mazzy doesn’t really understand what kindergarten means. But the truth is, I don’t think I really understand what’s about to happen either.
This summer, Mazzy is in a camp with kids who are 4-6 years old. After her first day, she told me she wanted to go to McDonald’s to buy a happy meal. As odd as it may seem, I have never introduced her to the concept of McDonald’s. Living in Manhattan, we never have a reason to eat fast food. There are tons of cheap food options around us that I assume are a lot healthier. But Mazzy found out from her new friends at school that you can get a meal with a toy included and she now thinks I’ve been depriving her of the finer things in life.
Later that same day, Mazzy asked me to play. This usually means she wants to reenact scenes from Frozen.
ME: Frozen?
MAZZY: No.
ME: House?
MAZZY: No.
ME: What then?
MAZZY: VAMPIRES!!!
Vampires???
ME: Do you even know what a vampire is?
MAZZY: No.
ME: They suck your blood.
MAZZY: OH MY GOD.
That’s what she said— “Oh my god.”
This was after ONE DAY around five and six-year-olds.
This past weekend, Mazzy went on her first sleepover. It was a sleepover that was forced upon me because I arrived into a conversation two seconds too late and became “the deciding vote”.
FYI- “The Deciding Vote” is code for “in this one word response you will have solidified yourself as your child’s hero or her arch nemesis— it’s up to you!”
I went with hero. I’m weak like that. Then I used the threat of “taking away the sleepover” for the next three hours until it was time to drop her off. (If we had planned the sleepover ahead of time, I could have used that ace in the hole for a solid week.)
Mazzy was beyond excited to go over her friend’s house and I knew without a doubt she would be fine. When her friend’s parents texted us pictures of them having fun— watching Tangled, getting into bed, making pancakes the next morning— my one regret was that I was not there to experience it with her.
Of course, sleepovers aren’t exactly sleepovers when your mom sleeps over too.
It was a similar feeling to when Mazzy was the flower girl at her Uncle’s wedding last week. She had to stay in the suite with the bridal party while I waited for her to walk down the aisle with everybody else. That must have felt pretty significant to her, yet I didn’t get to see it.
Have you heard of FOMO? That stands for “fear of missing out”. I think I have the parental verison of that. FOBELWY? “Fear of baby enjoying life without you”. (Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.)
It’s the same reason I didn’t want Mazzy’s nanny to ake her to the zoo for the first time while I was at work. Or why I denied her the pleasure of seeing Sesame Street Live with Grammy until I was available to go too.
But these were experiences when she was little and now she is growing up. She should be experiencing more on her own. She should be learning things from people other than their parents. And this all comes with influences you can’t control. Like her introduction to Big Macs and vampires.
To make myself feel better, I’ve started focusing on things Mazzy does that make it clear she is still a little kid.
Like how she now uses the phrase “OH MY GOD” about things that clearly don’t warrant it. For instance, I’ll be reading her a book she’s read a thousand times and Mazzy will say “OH MY GOD” after every sentence.
ME: My hair was the color of raspberry sorbet.
MAZZY: OH MY GOD.
ME: I cried because I was so beautiful.
MAZZY: OH MY GOD.
ME: I even cried pink tears.
MAZZY: OH MY GOD.
I hardly think the plot of Pinkalicious is filled with OMG moments. Especially when Mazzy can recite the book by heart.
On Saturday, we were swimming at a friend’s pool. Her friend jumped into the far end of the pool (he can swim) and screamed, “Look at me, I’m in the deep end!”
A few minutes later, Mazzy paddled her way over in her floaties, stuck her foot past the rope divider and then quickly paddled back. Then she whispered something just for me.
“Mom. I went into the DEEP DEN!”
She was so proud I couldn’t correct her. I said, “Good job!” while thinking, “My baby still needs me.”
Last night, Mazzy started going on about how gross it is to eat a lobster. I decided to test her.
ME: Do you eat cows?
MAZZY: No.
ME: Meat is from cows, you know.
Mazzy looked at me like she was dealing with the biggest idiot on earth.
MAZZY: No, it’s not, Mom. MILK is from COWS!!!!”
ME: You’re right. Milk is from cows. Do you eat chickens?
MAZZY: Yes, Mom, OF COURSE. Chicken are chickens! I eat chicken!
ME: That’s right, chicken are chickens.
Hmmm…. maybe she’s smarter than I thought?
MAZZY: But I eat the FOOD chicken, Mom, not the ANIMAL chicken!
I will never correct her.
Someone will have to tell her in kindergarten.
Love this. It’s so sweet to see her going back and forth from little kid to growing up, and especially your reaction (because I’m sure mine’s gonna be the same, Quinn’s only going to be 3 at the end of next month).
Ugh, they grow up so fast! My oldest starts school in less than a month and I’m having a difficult time processing it, too.
I have that fear too…fear of missing out on my kids’ first time experiencing things, like Disney on Ice when his aunt took him, or her first sleepover. Wah! It makes me want to cry! I don’t get to be there!
this is so great. my son too will be going to kindergarten this fall. i only have one kid, so it’s much worse! although i have a friend who is pregnant with twins and is sending her older son to disney with her sister, and not going! CANNOT IMAGINE! can’t miss out on that!
This pulled at my heart strings a bit. My daughter starts first grade in a few weeks so I’m a year ahead but still dealing with a lot of the same feelings. I mean, this is it. This is where they are taking what we’ve taught them and running into the world with it. We can help them some but a lot of the time we just have to sit back, watch, and pray that we didn’t totally fuck up. 🙂
I had an extreme case of FOMO this weekend! The letters FOMO were flashing before my eyes. I was going to New York for a girl’s weekend and it was my first night away from my 13 month old. I got a flat tire on the way which added three hours to my travel time and so I sobbed for the entire length of the Merritt Parkway because I had been away from my baby all morning and wasn’t even distracted by the company of my friends yet. Thankfully my son started walking last week so I didn’t have to deal with missing a major milestone. That would have killed me.
Mine are now 10 and you miss even more at this age. As for outside influences, middle school is one short year away. Yikes.
This post is perfect! Big kids are the worst influence ever. We had this summer, almost exactly, last year because our oldest who is also young for the class is going to 1st this year. Instead of oh my God she says “oh em gee” and “seriously….” NON STOP. Just you wait until little Harlow catches on. I like Mazzy’s big girl outfit and new backpack and lunchbox!
My son’s about 6 months younger than Mazzy but I can imagine being a little sad when he’s experiencing things without me. It’s weird because for so long I want him to be independent and not needing me for every little thing and then that moment arrives and you’re like, “Already?” That meat discussion is one I don’t want to have. I don’t like to think about it myself.
When my oldest started kindergarten, he was the 4 year old in the class. He went from loving Thomas to wanting to drink “dinosaur blood,”(which is V-8) and singing “Call me maybe'” every damn day!!!cant wait to see what 1st grade brings!!
My son has one more year of preschool to go (he’s not 5 until March) but is going to summer camp and now says “Oh c’mon!” after almost everything. Of course, he also says damnit which we can blame on me 😉 You’re welcome summer camp class!
Ha! My 5.5 year old (also starting kindergarten this fall) had a similar chicken response. She asked what we were having for dinner, I told her chicken. She apparently didn’t hear me, and asked, “what?” So I responded, “chicken…you know, bock bock!” And she said, “not THAT kind of chicken, mama! The FOOD kind!” LOL! Kids……
FOBELWY may not have the same ring that FOMO has, but I definitely have it. My mother has teased me for wanting to experience B’s firsts with him. I know that’ll eventually change, but for now, he’s my baby, and I’m not missing out!
awww I have a 3 year old and I have fear of missing out also! I know when I’m at work all day he is learning and doing new things 🙁 sniffle.
Also if I lived in NY with sooo many wonderful food options my kids would never know McD’s either… but unfortunately we just drive past and it’s I WANT FRENCH FRIES & KETCHUP!!!
HAAA
OMG I just had almost the exact coversation with my Four year old girl last night about Vampires! ..and don’t feel bad she has no concept of McD’s either, and we don’t live in a big city.
No NO No. Post like this make me sad cuz i am getting ready to send my baby boy to daycare when I start school in the spring and it makes me afraid I am gonna miss something.
But OMG Mazzy is getting big it seems like just a few days ago she was little bitty but that what happens when I read the entire blog in like two weeks and then continue reading.
If this baby in my belly is a girl, I’m doomed. At least my nightmares about going to tea parties with Mr. Snuggles have stopped.
Oh my god!
Last week I was watching one of the Shrek movies with my 2 year old… donkey was sleeping… he grabs my arm and says “Mommy-o he dead” all matter of fact like. I said “no no sweetie Donkey is just sleeping.. wait a second how do you know what dead is?!?!” he laughed at me … for real! then a couple days later we went for a walk with my dad and as soon as he sees the corner store he steps in the parking lot turns to me and says “Mommy-o mney peeeeese” with his hand stretched out. I looked at my dad and was like “did he seriously just ask me for money?!?!?!?! Did that just happen?!?!?! How the hell does he know what money is?!?!?!?! now he goes to an all day day care center but still… I am terrified for when he is 4.
I know, I just tell my girls it’s “meat”. It does not matter if it’s fish, beef, chicken, or pork, I just call it “meat” or said it Chinese instead. Cause last time I told my 2 yr old she is going to have fish for dinner, she cry like there is no tomorrow, and run to her “Mr.Fishy” and cried “NO, NO, not fish, NO,NO, just meat, not fish”.
This hits me right in the heart today … my Henry is 4 1/2 too, and he’ll start preschool this year. He seems SO grown-up to me and yet he’s still so little, too. The ‘big kids’ are at daycare with him for the summer and I can’t believe the things he comes home with! I’m always asking “who told you that?” and “where did you learn that?” … I can only imagine how much worse/funny/concerning/interesting it’ll get once he’s actually in school and surrounded by 20-something kids his own age every day. It’s fun and exciting and totally sad, too, to let them go, little by little!
WOW about Disney! I took my then 3-year old last year, and wouldn’t have missed that for the world! You just can’t get certain things back…but I do give her major Mom points for allowing her child to experience it and not miss out!
My son, who is about 6 months older than Mazzy, ended up in a group with incoming first graders at camp (he recently turned 5 and will be going to kindergarten in the fall). Hanging out with older kids (primarily boys), he picked up the phrase “Hey baby.” As in, I yell “Are you putting your shoes on?! We have to leave!!” and he responds, “Hey, baby, don’t worry, I’ll just be a minute.”
One of his friends recently read Harry Potter, which I think is way too advanced for my guy (and most kindergartners and first graders, right?). He asked me if I’d ever read it, and I said yes. Then he asked if he could read it, and I told him I thought he wasn’t ready. “Why?” Um, you won’t watch “Finding Nemo” because you’ve deemed it “too scary;” you’re definitely not ready for Harry Potter!
i distinctly remember finding out when i was about 7 or 8 that eggs that make baby chickens and eggs that you eat were one in the same…HORRIFYING! i’m almost 40 and i still have a difficult time eating eggs.
My four year old son loves the phrase Oh My Gosh! He says it ALL.THE.TIME. So I totally get what you’re saying about Mazzy picking it up. You’re lucky to have girls – the play they tend to pick up at school generally tends to be less violent and more dramatic. Mine comes home having learned how to shoot things and wants to play with shooting guns (and while, yes, I live in the rural deep South, I would still like to enjoy my children being gun free for a little while longer). He did make up for it last night with one of his cuter kid moments – I had told him he had so many sugar bugs in his mouth that they were having aparty – so he comes racing back in after brushing his teeth before bed and told me that he saw one leaving his mouth carrying abirthday cake candle and another carrying a disco bomb. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was a disco ball. 🙂
Wait until she goes to school and learns about boys and sex from a classmate with an older sister. We had to have a very long talk about that and I considered wrapping her in bubble wrap then packing her away until I am ready to discuss such things. Or, I can go to her friends house and punch her sister in the arm….
I teach kindergarten. I always have a room full of vegetarians for a week after we teach them where meat comes from.
And I understand FOBELWY so well that I take pictures for my students’ parents.
I can’t wait for you to re-read this when she is 14. 🙂
haha – funny about the bad influence of the other kids. Someone just introduced my friend’s little girl to fast food hamburgers and my friend shamed that person mercilessly on Facebook….
This is what will happen to my son when he starts school too. He has no idea what fast food tastes like, but really wants to eat at “Taco Bells” because he heard they have quesadillas and that’s one of his favorite foods. So cute! Best of luck in Kindergarten Mom!
My daughter is going into 3rd grade. Some of the things she “tests” out on me makes me sad and frustrated. I feel even more sad and frustrated when my soon-to-be Kindergartener sounds like a character from the Disney show Jesse.
But the good things that come along with the age are priceless – like seeing them develop their own ideas about life and possibly packing their own lunches.
Aw, she’s so sweet. I feel the same way and my daughter’s about to be 4. She went to her first movie w/o me (with Grandma)–Frozen, and I still feel sad I missed that “first,” though I know she would never have sat still for me.