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My only excuse for not knowing about this video sooner is that it was posted in March of 2013 which was about six months before Disney princesses meant anything to my daughter.

Now, thanks to Frozen, Disney princesses mean everything. To her, to me, to her baby sister. Even her dad, who knows all princess dolls by hair and dress color, lest he bring her the wrong one and risk World War III. 

World War III is the war where the princesses fight the robots, FYI.

Anyway… last March, in a pre-Frozen world, John Cozart (known as Paint on YouTube) sang a lovely little song with four part harmony and four part facial expressions (very impressive!) about what happens to Ariel, Jasmine, Belle, and Pocahontas after their stories are over.

SPOILER ALERT: It's not good. Aladdin is a suspected terrorist and Belle is being accused of beastiality, just so you know what we are dealing with…


The reason I was alerted to this very talented guy and the horrible plight of my four-year-old's favorite new friends is because he just released a new video about what happens to Mulan, Elsa, Cinderella and Tiana. 

Yes, Elsa. It involves global warming so put your hands over your kids' ears.


There. Now I feel caught up and safely in Summer 2014. 

Also, I feel totally untalented.