This was probably one of the hardest tasks I've ever had in my life, but after tons of combing and sorting and shifting and weighing, I finally narrowed down over 1000 submissions(!) to the 32 finalists who will be competing in the Evil Baby Glare-Off tournament next week.

They are… the 32 evil looking babies pictured above. 

If your baby made it into the tournament, please make sure you reread my photo policy at the bottom of this post.

Wondering why yours didn't make it in?

Perhaps your photo was too blurry, your baby was too tiny or the resolution was too low. Perhaps your baby doesn't really work in a side-by-side. Or maybe, just maybe, your baby isn't nearly as evil looking as you think.

I know it's a tough truth to accept, but you may have given birth to a little angel who doesn't look like the spawn of the devil even on his or her worst day. It's okay. I'm sure there are support groups somewhere.

Here are a few examples of babies who I really loved, that didn't make it in…

Nora is clearly terrifying and will probably find a special place in your nightmares for years to come, but after much debate, I decided the photo is way too pixelated for me to use.


Bradley had tons of votes in the facebook album, but if you crop out his fist, you're left with more cute than evil. 


Declan and Zoe definitely look evil, but are more possessed than glaring…



Kylie is employing the use of her middle finger, which while evil, gives her an unfair un-glare-related advantage. 

Sorry, Kylie.


And finally…

While Hunter looks like the kind of newborn you would try to push back up the birth canal until he was ready to join the world in a better mood, once I cropped the photo, he just didn't convey the same levels of evil.


So you see, there are lots of reasons why your baby would or would not make it in.

Thankfully, not making it into the Evil Baby Glare-Off contest is a good thing. You can go to bed knowing your child probably won't murder you in your sleep.

Also, all is not lost. 

I will be holding a surprise giveaway each day of the tournament. These giveaways are open to everyone whether you have a kid in the contest or not. You will find them at the end of each post. 

In fact, let's kick off the Evil Baby Glare-Off with a giveaway today. 

I'm giving away a Mommy Shorts mug to the person who best captions the photo of Hunter above.(He's the one in the swaddle who looks like he might strangle the doctor after he eats his own placenta.) Please leave your caption in the comment section.

On Monday, all regular posts will stop and the tournament will take over my blog for one week. I'll post the tournament bracket, the finalists will be pitted against one another, and a vote will determine who makes it the next round the following day. 

The last evil baby standing will be announced on Monday, November 4th. 

The grand prize winner will receive:

• a $250 Amazon gift card from Chupa Chups
• a Tin of 100 Chupa Chups lollipops (to bribe your evil child into smiling) 
• a Chuck Doll, the Chupa Chups mascot (who might or might not look like a penis)
• a Framed Evil Baby Glare-Off completed tournament bracket
• an Evil Baby Glare-Off onesie
• a Mommy Shorts mug



The runner-up will receive:

• an Evil Baby Glare-Off onesie
• a Mommy Shorts mug
• a Tin of 100 Chupa Chups lollipops
• a Chuck Doll

3rd & 4th place will receive:

• a Mommy Shorts mug
• a Chuck Doll

May the most evil baby win!


If you have a photo in the glare-off, please reread my photo policy and email me at ilana@mommyshorts.com if you have any questions:

You understand and agree that by submitting your photo to MommyShorts.com, you are hereby granting me (Ilana) and MommyShorts.com permission to use the photograph(s) submitted by you in connection with the Evil Baby Glare-Off event, in perpetuity, in any manner and in any media now known or hereinafter developed, throughout the world. You agree that you will not grant the right to anyone else to use the same photograph(s) for any purpose; and likewise, I agree not to authorize anyone else (other than on my behalf) to use your photo without your prior consent. You also understand and agree that by submitting your photo to MommyShorts.com, you waive all rights to inspect and approve the finished product (in which your photo is used). You further understand that I may need to alter, modify, edit or crop your photo, and you agree that I do not need further consent to do so.