I don’t like to brag, but there are so few parenting moments when I feel like I have done something correctly that I am going to seize the day and give myself a little pat on the back. I hope we can still be friends even if I start to sound like I might actually know what I’m doing.
A few weeks ago I talked about the process of potty training my daughter. (FYI- don’t ever put the potty training stickers in a place where your child can reach them, unless you want to walk in on a scene like the one pictured above.)
Actually, I’ve been talking about potty training for well over a year now. We thought she was ready, then we thought maybe she wasn’t ready, then we were sure she wasn’t ready and then we thought she should be ready even though she said she wasn’t ready. And then finally we blamed ourselves for her not being ready.
Basically, I forgot all about the potty training flow chart I made last summer. Remember this bit of wisdom?
I knew what I was talking about back then.
When Mazzy turned three, I decided to start training even though she resisted. After one unsuccessful weekend, she got sick and it seemed unfair to make her do something she didn’t want to do when she already felt miserable.
So I didn’t pressure her and waited.
A few months later, Mazzy had a week off from school which seemed like the perfect time to try and make potty training stick. More importantly, when I brought it up with her, she didn’t seem entirely opposed to the idea.
She was three and three months.
During that week, we had two to three accidents at home but within a day or two, Mazzy started to go to the potty without us having to remind her. In fact, when we asked her if she needed to go, she said, “No, I will tell you when I need to go.” Which she did.
When we finally took the risk of venturing out, she had one accident at a friend’s house but then asked to use the potty the next time.
The following Monday, we sent her to school in underwear and she has yet to have an accident.
This is the part, where I would usually segue into the AWFUL POTTY TRAINING DISASTER that happened after I got too confident, but oddly enough, it hasn’t happened yet. (Yes, I’m fully aware that after I post this, disaster will strike.)
We were told to expect many emergency scenarios where we must find a bathroom immediately or else. But we have yet to find ourselves in that situation. So far, she’s never asked to use the potty while at the playground or while in transit.
It seems to me (knock on wood one hundred times) that Mazzy is able to hold it in until she knows she is some place where a bathroom is accessible.
I think it comes down to her finally being old enough to have full control over her bladder.
Remember that post I wrote about bladder maturity? Not to get all medical on you or anything, but pediatricians say your child’s bladder isn’t fully developed until the age of three. Which is, therefore, the age parents should potty train.
It’s kind of like that time I freaked out because I thought my unborn child was going to live inside my belly forever, when in the end, Harlow came out exactly on the day the doctors said she would— her due date.
So, here’s my advice. If you are contemplating potty training and your child is not yet three, give yourself a break and wait it out. At the end of the game, your child will be just as potty trained as those who started a year ago, except you probably saved yourself a lot of aggravation.
Full disclosure— Mazzy is only pee-trained. Poop is a work in progress and we still let her wear a diaper at night. I asked her today when she is going to start pooping in the potty and she told me, “When I get a little bit older.” I decided to trust her because she’s been right so far.
Pooping aside, I let Mazzy collect on her potty training prize. Initially, she asked for a Lego Castle, but then changed her mind and asked for something else.
“I want a pink furry caterpillar.”
“A what?”
“A pink furry caterpillar.”
“I thought you wanted a LEGO castle.”
“I want a pink furry caterpillar.”
“A pink furry caterpillar?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Okay. I’ll see what I can do.”
Luckily, the internet exists and a parent can google “pink furry caterpillar plush toy” to see what comes up. You know what I found? THIS:
You know what I didn’t do?
Check the measurements on the damn thing.
Congrats, Mazzy. May you pee in the potty, poop when you’re ready and outgrow your ginormous caterpillar as quickly as possible.
Bahahahaha. Love it!
ahhh! so good! i included a link to this phenomenal flow chart in my huffington post article about how we use our kiddos to validate our own parenting decisions. check it out 🙂
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sara-petersen/what-pottytraining-taught_b_9691966.html
I was SO happy when both my kids were out of diapers. One day my little man said he didn’t want a pull up at night any more. I gave it a shot and never had an accident. As far as poops go…I gave them 1 mnm and they couldn’t wait to poop on the potty and eventually forgot about them when I ran out.
HAHAHAHA that’s awesome! At least if you step on the catipillar it won’t make you yell every curse word known to man
*caterpillar
I’m confused about one thing…. if Mazzy wears underwear and does not poop in the potty… how does that work?
That caterpillar is AWESOME. Best potty training prize I’ve seen yet.
Good question. She holds it in until we put on her diaper for the nap or bedtime. Most often her nap. So the first fifteen minutes of nap time is usually her screaming that we have to come in and change her diaper. I’ve tried to force her to use the potty since we know when she needs to use it but she gets very upset and ends up holding it in. So we’re just accepting this for now and waiting until she is more ready.
My first born did the exact same thing. Only lasted about 3 months, if that long. Lovely article!
My son took a bit longer than Mazzy and like you my husband and I had to leave him be. He told me that he could use the potty but didn’t want to. Darn three year olds and their smarts, he knew that he had control of his own body and that I couldn’t make him use the toilet. When he was ready, he was pee trained fairly quickly and being poop trained followed fairly close behind. I had to remind myself that my son wouldn’t head off to college in diapers. 😀 By the way I love the flow chart.
So glad it worked out for you. I think it is a little dependent on the child. Our eldest wanted out of nappies around two and a half and we went with it for many reasons 1) his sister could sit up by herself but not move yet which kinda fitted 2) a few wee puddles for a few days was a vast improvement on a resisting screaming child at nappy change time 3) he was due to start preschool at three and they prefer them to be trained if possible so gave us a good run up 4) he wanted to be like Daddy and wear pants and that was just cute. He got it pretty quickly though did need reminding for a couple of weeks. Our second wants to be like her big brother and use the toilet and has been taking her own nappies off since before her second birthday (only to get them on when we are out the house!) but again was two and a half before it clicked. Again needs reminding to go though. My friend waited til her son was three but due to his temperament it was a bit of a nightmare – he knew having accidents would wind her up and was going through a challenging phase so would go in deliberately annoying places! So I think your advice about reading the child – and trusting your own instincts as a parent – is key. Especially not to let you or your child feel rushed or pressured.
Yup! My daughter woke up 2 days before her 3rd birthday and said “I want to wear my underwear” (We had tried a few times before to train her with disasterous results.) She had maybe a few accidents and that was it.
She trained for poop about 3.5 months later, but she did know when she had to go and would ask for a pull up.
Yay Mazzy and yay mommy for nearly being done with diapers for one of them!
It sounds like Anna and Mazzy could be potty-training buddies. I tried with Anna over the summer only to clean up accident after accident. I’m sure that if I would have pushed it and stayed on her we eventually could have gotten there. But I was pregnant and lazy and I could tell my girl wasn’t ready. Shortly after her third birthday, though, it seemed to click, and I totally agree that waiting has paid off. She will poop on the potty if she’s awake and feels the urge, but nine times out of ten she also goes during her nap in her pull-up. No accidents (knock on wood) and no tears from either of us! Hooray for being lazy! (And congrats to you and Mazzy!)
I caught so much flack from people about waiting with Eddie. He was 3 and a half when he finally decided to just pee and poop on the potty regularly. And we haven’t gone back. I firmly believe you can’t make your kid potty train.
You can’t make a kid eat, sleep, or potty train until they want to.
What I’m saying is…good job, momma.
Wow, great job listening to yourself and your daughter! The only reason I would start potty training my 2.5 yr old is because he’s supposed to be trained by 3 yo old for his daycare. But since we’re having a 2nd and prolly not sending him there anymore, we don’t have the pressure and are waiting for him to tell us he’s ready. How awesome that Mazzy can articulate that she will poo in the potty when she’s older.
I peed my pants after I saw the size of that caterpillar!
I’m glad you mentioned the whole bladder thing because now I won’t feel like an awful parent for not starting my child early. And now I totally want a pink fuzzy caterpillar.
Save the caterpillar, you may need it for Harlow.
Hallelujah!!! I am so happy you put this out there. I don’t even like the words “potty training” . For both of my boys I didn’t do anything but just wait .No pressure no nothing it just happened, just like with Mazzy. There was no training just Mommy I want underwear, we had some accidents and that was it. They just started using the bathroom and even slept through the night w/ no accidents. No charts, no prizes, no nothing. It was just like another stage in life. For the boys it was earlier so I didn’t feel this overwhelming “social” pressure. Parents have to let go of that and do exactly what you have said. Keep in mind pooping is very odd for children and when it hurts it’s even scarier when it’s on the toilet. Jude goes on the toilet but I have to site with him every time for mental and physical support. I’ve worked in many a toddler and twos classroom and we did the same thing. No potty training, we would just take cues from the child and if we thought they would go to the potty we would ask and we’d go from there. Great post and I’m so glad you put it out there.
That caterpillar totally rules. We called it Potty Learning for ourselves so we could get away from the idea that WE had anything to do with it. Because we didn’t. When she was 3 years 3 months, she decided it was time and that was it. She is now almost four and has had VERY FEW accidents. It’s amazing. And yes, she still poops in a diaper. She pooped in the potty once at school last week and it was awesome but has decided not to do that again. So we’re just waiting that one out. A bit frustrated, but waiting.
I am a “potty training expert”. Yes, in my previous life I was paid to potty train other people’s children. My first was potty trained in 2 day at age 2 (she was completely ready, despite everything I did or didn’t do). My next one wasn’t trained until 3 1/2. There were a lot of snide comments from friends and family that knew what I did for a living, but I KNEW the kid was not ready. When he was, he was trained in 2 days, just like my daughter. I’m now getting the last laugh as all those early trainers need to be reminded to use the bathroom, can’t get their pants up after, still have accidents and wear pull-ups at night. (Pull-ups are the devil’s spawn). I truly believe that your average kid will reach the end stage of potty training (being fully independent) when they are ready (have the desire and pre-skills), no matter when you start. So, you can start before they’re ready and make it a painful months long process, or wait until they are truly ready and be done in a matter of days. (The kids I worked with were not your “typical” kids, so methods and time lines were much different).
You probably won’t have disasters after her being potty trained, but there will be surprising accidents. My 3.5 year old has been trained for months and months and I don’t remember the last time she had an accident. But the other day we were at a friends house and we heard her shrieking from the bathroom-she just didn’t get there in time and had peed all over herself (and our friend’s rug, yay!). She was playing and just didn’t catch it in time-I felt so bad for her, poor thing :-/ So it will happen, but you’ll deal 🙂
With my daughter I started trying at 18 months because of couse she is brilliant and of course she’ll be an early trainer. We tried on and off for a year and a half. The month she turned three, she did it and it wasn’t that hard. She’s now 5.5 and I can count on one hand how many accidents she’s had and at least 2 were in the middle of the night. My son turns 3 Monday, and I think I will try to train him this summer.
Congratulations!!!
Thank you for writing about your experience. We tried the “potty training in 3 days” and it was a disaster! we are not forcing anything on her anymore, we’ll wait and see when she is ready (She’s 2y1/2).
Love the caterpillar by the way!
I think that if you treat potty training like it isn’t a big deal, everybody wins. I can honestly say that I have not potty trained any of my now trained children, all at under three. They were ready, they were able to tell me and we never looked back. We have a 7 year old who still wets the bed at night and again, no big deal. We wake him before we go to bed and that prevents most accidents. Our middle one was trained early, all by himself and even naps and nighttime. He did however also have an issue with poop
That thing is huge! So, go Mazzy! I have now potty trained 3 and like you said, wait until they are ready. But I will say this, all of my 3 were ready at different times. Sophia basically potty trained herself around 15 months old and seriously, it was the strangest thing I had seen from her up to that point. Girl hated diapers with a passion so she did it. She has never had an accident day or night! How crazy is that?
Miles really wanted to be potty trained at about 2 1/2. Who wants to bet Sophia harassed him? Whatever, he wanted to wear those Superman underpants so this time we went with the 3 day potty training and it worked. No diapers ever again for him and he had one accident both the first and second night and then nothing since.
Violet just finished potty training and she just turned 3. She is a little dog like though as when she gets pissed off she will purposefully pee. It has only happened twice but it is awful. My best tip for the night time is using a pad that goes on TOP of the sheet. We just used the one that fits a crib size and lay it sideways on the twin bed but it is awesome because if they do have a little accident we just wash the pad and the jammies and not the entire bedding! We fold the comforter down and lay a blanket on top just in case the accident was to go up, but that has not happened yet.
So, three kids and three different ages and ways, but I think you have it in that they started when they were ready.
One caveat, I think you have to sort of pay attention to see when they are ready or you could miss the window. Some kids (and I have heard this many times) don’t get pushed to potty train and decide they don’t mind pull ups but they don’t really completely potty train and are having accidents far past age 4 and still ask for pull ups at night after kindergarten. Sometimes a parent might want to push a little if bladders are developed at 3 and the child is far past that and still not trying.
I don’t agree with your medical research. Many pedis I know (I’m a dr so I know quite a few that went into that specialty) actually recommend potty training at 2 or BEFORE. My daughter told me she needed to peed on the toilet at 21 months, we have never had an accident. She wore pull ups for a few months so that helps but she pretty much always held in in. There is a reason only Americans are potty trained so late, because their parents are lazy…. Every other country PTs at 18 months. My Asian friends tell me that their parents encouraged PT at 15 mos to be competent trained at 18 months. The truth is the world cannot afford disposable diapers and try to PT at a decent time. In America, the land of waste and pollution, no one cares.
Mhj@yahoo, I find it hard to believe that you are a medically trained doctor. It is not just the bladder that needs to develop but the sphincter (small ring of muscle) in the anus needs to develop too. The child needs to recognize the feeling of needing to go to the toilet. Also, they need to be ready emotionally to make that transition. Developmental stages are in the same order but are achieved at different rates depending on the child. So, there is not a right age to start going to the toilet. It will vary from child to child. It has nothing to do with being American or being a lazy parent. I’m not from America and I will wait until my child shows me she is ready. FYI human developmental milestones throughout our entire lifetime does not vary according to the country we live in. It is amazing how similar all of us human beings are. It’s almost as if we were the same species :p
Huh, interesting that American kids are the only ones in this whole world that aren’t fully potty trained at 18 months…Anyway, YAY to Mazzy and Mom! Thanks for the encouragement. My 2 1/2month old know what the potty is, what it’s for, but think it’s best for her stuffed animals to use it instead. We’ll get there eventually, and I’m not in a hurry.
Jonah asked for a lego boat plane that walks on trees for his “potty present.” I googled it, and came up with Astral body cleansing, ego worksheets and family feud Q&A….We got him a lego set. Ava just wanted chocolate. My best advice for any potty training parent is to forget the training part. Show them, offer, and be patient. Both of of my kids did it entirely on their own. Ava was 2, and one day she said she had to go, and wore underpants (day and night) from that day forward. Jonah was 3, and it looked like he had NO interest and suddenly one day he wanted the potty. Just like his sister, he was in underpants from that day forward. A couple of night accidents, but not a single day one. It was effortless and entirely stress free for us all
Way to go Mazzy! My daughter is a month older than Mazzy and we are still working on potty training. She is a lot like your daughter in many ways, and just hasn’t been completely ready. I think she has to believe it’s her idea or it’s never going to work!
She often goes on her own even at this point (will even poop!), but we still need to encourage her to be more consistent with it. A big part of the problem is that the poor girl has to take a diuretic everyday, so she pees about 2-3 times more than most toddlers, and she gets very frustrated with having to stop playing to use the potty every 20-30 minutes. I also think she doesn’t have a strong control over her bladder just yet, possibly due to the reason she is taking the medicine to begin with. It will happen in time though, she’s close to being ready!
Now, if I can just figure out how to put a stop to her insisting on playing while on the potty. She always wants a toy and will get up repeatedly to change them, and the whole process will end up taking 15-20 minutes and there’s a 50% chance that she actually went potty while messing around.
I don’t think it’s just the US. In the UK it varies from 18mths to three and a half – but I think that’s because KIDS vary. I would guess that when you can afford good disposables the child is less inclined to get themselves out of nappies since they can’t feel the wet the same. I think the main thing is there is no hard and fast rule for potty training. Just like sleeping, eating, walking etc. They all get there eventually and only the parent can really determine what is best in their particular family situation. It’s great to hear so many stories though – all with a happy outcome!
Wow, that could have come across as informative and educational – and instead seems judgemental and bullying.
At any rate – probably no surprise here! – I totally agree with Sarah and do not agree with you at all. Unless you are convincing me that an 18 month old can clearly tell you when they need to use the potty, AND be able to hold in their pee or poop until you can get to a potty – and I am not talking the 5 minutes it takes you to drop everything or rush to the nearest toilet, I mean for a good 30-45 minutes (as factor in things such as stuck in traffic, long line of people waiting – you know, all the situations that happen to those of us who are actually fully trained).
Then if the 18 month old, can not only indicate the need to potty, and wait until they are at a potty – but can pull down their pants, get up, do their business, wipe themselves, get off, pull up their pants, and wash their hands; AND be able to hold their pee all night AND not have “accidents”; then with all due respect no they are NOT fully trained – they are merely further along on the multiple STEPS to being trained.
And if they are able to at least hold their pee and poop until they get to toilet no matter how long the wait is – then that is wonderful to be no longer having to worry about using diapers/pull-ups. But I am sure the parents who’s kids are using diapers/pullups aren’t doing it because they are lazy, or bored, or bad parents, or don’t grasp the concept of toileting themselves, or are too drunk to care – it is very likely because kids are DIFFERENT and develop at DIFFERENT rates. Which as a DOCTOR you should know. Much like how at 2 years of age you can have a child who is as fully verbal as a 6 year old, or a child who is only able to say maybe 20 words clearly. That is not necessarily due to bad parenting or developmental issues – it is due to kids developing at different rates with different skills, and maybe the slow talker was quicker in other skills such as walking. And yet funny thing is – while we need to watch out for outliers in every developmental area for sure, as can be indicators of underlying issues – for the most part, leave them alone and don’t JUDGE and by kindergarten they are all walking, talking, and toileting pretty darn tootin’ fine.
Which is why, with regards to your judgemental and ridiculous comment, all I can really say is – to quote the wisdom of The Bloggess – “We’re all happy for you but my *cat* was potty-trained in less time than it took your baby, so maybe stop being such a dick about it”
Lol, excellent reply 😀
And just to pre-empt you thinking I am sticking up for Ilona because was on the same toileting track as her with my own kid – you would be wrong. I also don’t necessarily disagree that sometimes windows are missed and sometimes different techniques could be used that could help the process along; while simultaneously realizing it is impossible to fit every single human being into the exact same box.
And I will NEVER side with a judgemental bully.
Everyone says to be paitient. And that is well and good but then there are blog posts and websites and other mom experiences and I feel like my son will never get it. He know how to pee on the potty and he has had a small poop on the potty twice. He is 3 years and 3 months. HE JUST WON’T TELL US HE NEEDS TO GO! Which means that he can’t wear regular underpants. He floods them. Pull ups are glorified and overpriced diapers so I don’t know what to do? Wait until he’s ready? Well, that’s fine too except he has to be potty trained before he can _________ (fill in the blank) at his age. Sigh. And night time? He’s wet in the morning when he wakes. Should he wear plastic pants? Go commando? He hates being naked. ugh….
I’m so glad you figured this out. I know so very many moms who push the potty training at two. If they’re ready, they’ll let you know, and until then, you’re going to get nowhere.
A girlfriend of mine was having this issue. She took her son to the dr, and he said, “I’ve never met a kid in high school who was still wearing diapers.” So she just kept positive about it, and when he was four he finally got the jist of it.
Good job Mazzy! At around 12 months my little girl would tell me when she had to poop, then tense up until i would take her to the potty – she was never a fan of pooping in diapers and always lets me know when she has to go…but I cannot, for the life of me, get her to pee in the potty – she is 2 years and 2 months now and absolutely refuses to even sit on the potty to pee. Should I just wait it out or try another approach since she has been half potty trained for over a year now?
Kande, I rather reply to you instead. My field and eduction background is early childhood development. Here lately it is coming more evident to me that there are certain individuals in the medical and dental field that are completely out of tune with the social and mental development of the human being especially the young child. People in my field go to school and study the actual mental and social development people in their field study the body and physical aspect. As soon as my case against a dentist abusing my 3 year old child clears the health department I will blog about it. Until then please trust your feelings. And always remember that the title “Dr” does not give that person the title of all knowing genius.
I agree with most of the comments that have been made here, about how you have to read your kid, and they will be ready when they are ready and so on. However, in my experience, I’ve found that even when you do let your child take the lead and wait for them to be ready, training is not always a snap.
My son is 3 years, 8 months, and is pretty much potty trained now. About a year ago, he was showing signs of interest at school, and so we encouraged him at home. We had a single success (in which he asked to use the potty, sat, and produced pee). It was glorious. Then, while talking about it afterwards with him (to encourage him), I watched his eyes glaze over in fear, and he refused to use the potty again for 10 months. I’m pretty sure he was fully developmentally ready to potty train at 2 and a half, but he wasn’t emotionally ready.
Because of this, training for us has been hard. What we’ve really been doing in our efforts to get him to use the potty is confronting his fears (of success, of failure, of not being the baby anymore, of the toilet, of the sensation of pee and poop leaving his body, you name it). We ended up having to take away the diapers (because otherwise Mr. Stubborn would hold it in (for 8+ hours) until we put a diaper back on him) and hold him on the potty while he screamed and thrashed in fear and anger. Eventually, he realized that this was something he could do. He is even proud of his accomplishments (finally)! He is now pee, poop, and night trained, and is slowly getting more and more confident and proud of himself. Today I was incredibly proud because he not only peed at school by himself (an unheard of accomplishment only two weeks ago) but pooped on the potty at school (with me there for emotional support) as well. We are still working on getting him to actually SAY that he needs to use the potty. Normally he just starts dancing, grunting, and grabbing himself (and denying his needs loudly). He doesn’t have speech delays, but it is emotionally hard for him to express himself about certain things, pottying included.
I wanted to post this in case there are mothers of other kids like mine out there who are reading this and wondering what is wrong with themselves that their child is not training on their own in one weekend, even when you have waited and waited for signs of readiness. Sometimes kids’ emotional development is slower than we’d like, and in my experience, the best thing you can do is recognize when the child needs you to take the lead for them. For us, this course of action was what made sense and is what my instincts told me he needed – it was not prompted by pressure from outside; I could tell that he was deliberately NOT doing something he could do just because of fear.
I know holding him on the potty sounds harsh, but it was what he needed emotionally to overcome his fears, and now, three months later, that hard work has paid off. By forcefully encouraging pottying even when he was so afraid (and therefore ‘not ready’), we showed him that he could work through his fears and conquer them. As a result he is less fearful in his life in general these days, not just on the potty.
You can count germany as another country where children where a diaper a few years. No one I know has even heard of potty training. Parents just wait until their child is ready. It’s not even an issue. And guess what? No one goes to college in diapers!
You’re right Mirely they are also on the bottle, and paci on average a lot longer. It’s not really an “issue” in Germany. You commonly see 4 year olds with bottles. Some of the best parenting and child development knowledge I gained was from my peers and mentors in Germany.
I cannot stop laughing at the size of that caterpillar!!!
I know so very many moms who push the potty training at two.I’m sure that if I would have pushed it and stayed on her we eventually could have gotten there.
I am from Korea and my 2 year 8months old is not potty trained yet and neither side of her grandparents are concerned about this. (They live in Korea)
I remember my nephews and nieces were potty trained around 2 1/2 about 15 years ago, so all Asian kids are potty trained early is myth.
I am planning to potty train my daughter around her third birthday because weather is perfect. She can be in her dress and undie only.
Less layer is better for Ollie (to undress) and mommy (to wash) lol
3.5 years old is way old for me to start potty training. This little girl is not even poopy trained. And you’ll giving advice on how to train kids. Both of my kids were out of dipers around their second birthday. I have a 13 month old baby now and already she goes on the potty a few times a day just to get her used to it. I am not paying for dipers much longer. If I waited for my kids to me when, it would have taken much longer. You have to be patient and it takes time but it’s all worth it.
THANK YOU! If I go to one more freakin’ playdate where the other mommies look at me in horror because I’m not forcing my 2 year old (and I mean he JUST turned two) to potty train…I. Will. Lose. It.
Asking your kid five million times a day if they need to pee or poop is not potty training – placing them on the toilet and waiting for a miracle is not potty training.
Wait until the child is ready. Amen.
I haven’t seen anything here about boys taking longer to potty train than girls (just generally). But it’s a wisdom that’s been handed down for generations. My grandson is 3 yrs/8 months, and my daughter has only just started potty training. He’s doing well, the accidents are tapering off and yesterday he was pretty much dry for the whole day. He’s still in pull-ups for naps and overnight, but he’s also been going some night completely dry. Was he ready before this? I don’t think so. He was interested in the potty, and would sit on it, but there was no real recognition of what should be happening. He’s a bright, happy kid, and he went to daycare this past year in pull-ups. The teachers were thrilled with him and didn’t seem to think there was anything odd about him not being trained. Hang in there. I promise it won’t be forever. (Both my daughters training in a matter of days – the oldest was nearly 4 before she was interested.)
Agreed. In my opinion, if you have a child who pees and poops on the potty every time with no accidents anywhere under the age of three, the only one who’s ‘trained’ is the parent. Trained to see the urge and rush the kid to the toilet. There’s no self-control on the kid’s part if mommy anticipates everything.
25 years ago I frantically tried to train my daughter to use a potty. We cried (both of us) ate bags of m&ms and sat forever! Days were great but every night we changed sheets and pajamas. Now I am raising my 2 year old grandchild. I bought a potty seat when she turned 2 and let her own curiosity lead the way. We would “try” for brief times to sit on the potty. Always made it light and fun. Now at 28 months she pees and poops on the potty all day long and has had dry diapers most nights for the past month. She even woke up in the middle of the night and told me she needed to go!!! Even if we are playing outside, she will tell me when she needs to go. We laugh, clap and enjoy the process. She loves her “big girl panties” and is very proud of herself. What a difference, would never put a child through the must be trained by 2 process again!
Hi! I live in France and have a 2-year-old girl, Maïlys. She, too, waits to have her nappy on during nap and bedtime to poo. She’s not fully toilet-trained yet. She’s in Pull-Ups. She would ask to go to pee in the toilet sometimes, especially just before her shower. I was contemplating training and moving her from nappy to panty. The only thing that’s putting my plans off is the weather. I’m thinking of trying in spring.
I’m relieved to learn that Maïlys is not the only one who wants to have a say about toilet-learning. I guess, she would also say to me that she will go to poo in the toilet one day, when she gets a bit older.
Thanks for posting this.
THIS is hilarious! Thank you for all the laughs. It’s about time I ran across your blog. I’m wayyy behind – well, on the blog anyway. But I will catch up to reading all these great posts.
Well, I am over 60 with a terminal illness that cause occasional embarrassing accidents and this made me laugh. You see all that potty training work could end some day.
I think I will search for the pink caterpillar?
I read an article recently by a doctor in England talking about all the school children he sees struggling with constipation and other bowel problems. He attributes it to too early potty training!
Interesting!
[…] This post was originally written in 2012, but since Harlow is now at the age where people are starting to enquire about her potty training habits (of which she has none), I thought it was appropriate to revisit. It’s about a time when Mazzy was resistant to training and I decided not to press the issue. SPOILER ALERT: that all turned out just fine. […]
Searched up that caterpiller and mazzy was shown
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[…] push though because Mazzy did the same thing and as I later found out, when Mazzy was ready, she was ready. No forcing or […]
[…] is not to say we didn’t try and fail many times. It just worked when we finally backed off and took away the pressure for a few months. Once Mazzy made the decision herself, potty […]
I think it is great that you are attentive and sensitive to your child’s needs. Every family should do what is right for them. I am however slightly concerned that you are spreading misinformation. My child is 17 months and uses the potty 99% of the time. (Please look up elimination communication). She most certainly has bladder control. She of course still needs some assistance pulling her pants on and off and wiping, but still enjoys trying. I’m sure every kid is different but not having bladder control until age 3 is simply incorrect.