To be fair, it's not just my mother. It's my mother-in-law, my father, my sister, my friends, my co-workers, my dry cleaner, my doorman, etc. etc. etc.

All the attention has successfully convinced my husband that we are late and something is wrong, when in reality we are due tomorrow.

When I say "we", I am being polite. Obviously, I will be the only one pushing a baby out of my vagina and my husband better remember that for the rest of his life.

In other news, because I seem to have all this additional time, I have become quite active on Pinterest. Pinning baby things I will never own, crafts I will never make and food I will never cook.

It's surprisingly sastifying to take ownership of a DIY project that I couldn't finish if someone offered me a million dollars while holding a gun to my head.

To counterbalance, I am also pinning things like this:


which make me feel a bit better about my future as a parent.

I tried to create a board for "fashionable pregnancy bibs" but shockingly, none exist. Which means— I am that much closer to making my millions!

What pregnant woman wouldn't want to protect her ample bossom from housing crumbs and catching ketchup? We all know the "napkin on your lap" thing doesn't quite cut it when your stomach is touching the underside of the table. Am I right?

If you'd like to follow me on Pinterest, click here. I promise, I'm not really pinning adult bibs (even though I really want/need one.)

Okay, I'm gonna go now because I think I'm in labor.

Nope, just gas.

Welcome to my world.