I feel like I’ve been neglecting Mazzy lately. What with all the mom porn and the Snooki onesies and the air purifying innuendos, I’ve forgotten that this is ultimately a blog documenting my daughter.

I stopped keeping a baby book a long time ago and with that I stopped recording a lot of the little moments. Like when exactly Mazzy said her first word or the first phrase she strung together. (It might have been “Oh. My. God.” after she dropped a book behind the dresser, but I’m not sure if that came before or after “Hi, Barry”— that’s our doorman, who for the record, still doesn’t know Mazzy’s name.)

Mazzy’s got a pretty large vocabulary at this point. Her sentences get longer all the time. Today, when I left for work, Mazzy asked if I was going to the store.

“Why? Do you want something?”

She thought really hard. I know this because her eyes go wide and she “ummmmms” dramatically.

“Ummmm…. Ummmmm…. Ummm… You buy apples?… And chocolate?”

The kid is smart. She threw apples in there first to throw me off her main agenda.

But the most precious words that come out of Mazzy’s mouth, are actually the ones she gets wrong.

I know I should be correcting her, but ALMONDS are so much cuter when they are mispronounced as SALMONS. And saying DIAPERS like DI-PEARS makes Mazzy sound adorably French.

Mike and I now say both SALMONS and DI-PEARS just to ensure she never gets them right.

A few days ago Mazzy said the word DELCIOUS which made me sad because up until that moment, she had been mispronouncing it as MELICIOUS. I think it came from me saying, “Yummm… delicious” and Mazzy bridged the two.

She also butchers MICKEY MOUSE.

Minnie was actually one of her first words because someone gave her a plush Minnie when she was born. But the first time she saw Mickey Mouse was at the Disney Store a few months ago, when she met the life-sized version of the famous couple for a photo op.

Excitedly, she screamed— “IT’S MAMA MINNIE AND DADA MINNIE!!!”


Mazzy is now familiar with Mickey Mouse but has to make an effort to get his name. She pronounces it as MUCK-EE and hits the ‘K’ extra hard.

“It’s Minnie Mouse and MUCK-EE Mouse!”

He is a rodent, after all.

Pluto doesn’t get off easy either. His name is PUDU. I haven’t even attempted to correct her. It’s too damn cute.

Sadly, every day Mazzy’s vocabulary gets better and her pronunciation more accurate. It has become clear that the only way to combat boringly impeccable speech, is to give her larger words.


“Look! It’s a heliocopter!” I’ll say.

“A heliocopter!” she’ll repeat perfectly, to my disappointment.

“The heliocopter is flying next to the Empire State Building.”

“The Empire State Building!”

“The Empire State Building is an excellent piece of art deco architecture.”

“Excellent art deco architecture!”

DAMN. The girl is too good.

But then today, I introduced her to WAFFLES for the first time.

“MAFFLES?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said. “Exactly.”


What’s your favorite word that your kid mispronounces?