Dance Moms 2 premieres tonight. That’s the show about all the super talented little girls with mothers who love them so much they will throw them into the malleable hands of one Abby Lee Miller (pictured left) who will 100% guarantee that when they leave her dance studio they will be STARS.
Got it? STARS.
If I could write STARS in glitter and bedazzle it with shards of unicorn horns, I would.
Then I would scream it at the top of my lungs, call the cops on every mother I know, rip the tutu off any child who doesn’t know how to “SUCK IT UP!” and drown my sorrows in a bath of trophies I did not earn myself.
At least that’s what I think happens on Dance Moms. I have not yet watched a single episode. I am basing my commentary 100% on the promos.
It is possible that every other moment on Dance Moms is filled with family hugs, cupcakes and plenty of time to play non-dance-related games with non-dance-related friends.
Although, I am skeptical.
So I decided that I am going to watch Dance Moms tonight to see for myself.
In order to make this happen, I needed to clear my calendar of all parties, events, date nights, etc. that I had planned for this evening. (That part was easy since I had none.)
Next, because I am scared and do not want to watch Dance Moms alone, I asked if anybody would want to live tweet it with me. Yes, that’s right. I said— LIVE TWEET.
I’ve already got @buriedwithkids, @ninjamomblog, @kikiandkyle and @biggreenpen on board. We are all going to hold virtual hands and hope that Abby Lee Miller doesn’t suddenly turn towards camera and yell at us directly.
Note: Apparently, @biggreenpen IS a dance mom but not a “Dance Mom” dance mom so she is nothing like THOSE dance moms, or so she says. Either way, she should bring an interesting perspective.
It’s tonight, January 10th at 9/8 central.
Who else is in?
If so, let’s get this thing going with a tweet:
“I’m live tweeting the Dance Moms 2 premiere with @mommyshorts at 9/8 central tonight! #DanceMoms”
Or if you have watched an episode, please please please do your best to prepare me in the comment section below.
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Thank you to Lifetime who compensated me for this post and for posting the video below:
I can’t wait to join the live tweeting of Dance Moms. I will, I promise, take a break from categorizing my dancer’s MANY trophies by size (we recently reinforced the shelf because it was bowing under the weight of so much bling) in order to do this with and for y’all (we are southerners down here after all). It’s a small sacrifice, but I CAN take my eyes off my beautiful dancer for sixty minutes. I CAN, I CAN, I CAN. Right?
Here I come! Although your last twitter party was so big I couldn’t keep up on my poor wittle phone! I ended up only responding to people I followed! This surely will be easier for a rookie such as myself right?
As a former coach I’m ready to throw in my two cents on this lady.
Plus it goes down in my hometown of Pittsburgh, so if need be I can go hunt this Abby down – for research purposes you know!?
WHAT? It’s in our HOMETAHN?! OMFG, I’m in like Gungadin. See yinz bitches there!
I, too, was intrigued by the commercials. For the first season. I’m kinda ashamed to admit that it is programmed into my dvr so I don’t miss an episode. It’s like watching a train wreck ~ you want to look away, you just can’t. My daughters (18, 13 & 8) were all sucked in too. It’s like female bonding hour at our house when we watch. I can’t imagine paying someone to treat my girls the way she treats those girls in her studio. Plus, it kinda makes you feel better about your own mommy meltdowns. The girls are all very talented but they don’t always seem happy. The rule for our girls has always been when it stops being fun for them, we’re out. Isn’t that what extra-curricular activities are supposed to be about??
OMG this show is a HAM = hot azz mess!
bwahahaha I might be the only one that gets the yinzer reference, but that’s ok because its SWEET!
See you tonight! I may or maynot be eating a Primanti’s while I watch – jus sayin!
I couldn’t agree more with your last bit. If it’s no longer fun for my girls, we are done. I worry that I am becoming a “Dance Mom” only for us it’s gymnastics… but I just keep checking to make sure my kid is happy.
I can’t watch it because it makes me want to strangle someone, BUT I think I can be semi-insulated if I just read your live tweets. I’m scared of the mean dance lady.
I see you’re going ahead with this live tweet plan in spite of all my attempts to convince you otherwise.
And in spite of the fact that as a west-coaster, I seriously HATE people who live tweet shows I plan to watch from the east coast, a full 3 hours before I can watch it. And I don’t want to hate you, Ilana. I really don’t.
I guess we’ll have to see where we stand tomorrow.
I’ve watched it and there is NO WAY to prepare you for what is to come.
But live tweeting is fun! I’ve done it for every episode on Project Accessory on behalf of Accessories Magazine and the best part is the show is taped in advance and all the contestants watch it and follow the live tweets, so when you make fun of them in tweets, they snap back at you! FUN!! Then everyone else retweets all your snarkiness! DOUBLE FUN!!
I am such a geek because a) I went to bed so early I missed your tweet about this and b) I don’t have cable so I can’t play with you tonight.
When you live tweet something on network TV I’m in!
I don’t know that there are words to prepare you. I watched it once, and that was enough. At least it was until the enticement of live tweeting it and picturing Abbey Lee Miller rolling around in her own trophies. Thank you for that image.
Well, I think I’ve warned you before about this show that, to be clear, I have DEFINITELY never watched. (Kinda like the way we used to discuss The Hills even thought I NEVER watched that either.) All I can tell you is, rumor has it, the only thing more gruesome than an episode of Dance Moms, would be if at the end of the season we found out everyone was actually dead, and that these were just slaughtered ghosts competing against one another. Which might explain why that evil, narcissistic coach lady is so batshitcrazy, or so I’ve heard. All I’m saying is look for clues, levitation, screeching, bad hair, blood dripping down the walls, really cheesy costumes, all signs they may not be of this world… Nuff said.
I’m a newbie to twitter parties, do I just follow #DanceMoms to see the tweets?
I hate to admit I’m kind of addicted now. Thanks alot! Side note: Yaay for boys – for now…
You all are making me so excited to watch this show for the first time – not!
Maybe you can stream it online?
I’d love to live tweet it with you and appreciate the invite but, as you already know, I refuse to watch reality TV that makes me weep for the future of all mankind. And this one? Actually seems worse than Millionaire Matchmaker. And that… creature? Makes Patti Stanger seem sweet. OK, no she doesn’t and they should both be locked in a windowless room together for all of eternity to slowly drive each other insane with their narcissism, but you get what I’m saying.
So, anyway… have fun at your Twitter party! 🙂
I will not be able to join the tweet party tonight because I’ll be with my daughter at her karate studio while she learns to kick some ass.
True story.
She won’t be wearing make-up either.
Oh yeah.
But. p.s. I’m sad I can’t join you because unlike Kristin, I do get sucked in by that crap and and I show Karly and I cackle, “See. SEE! I’m NOT THAT BAD!!!! right?”
Oh, snap! I’m so jealous! I’ll wear black and gold and scream the words “JAGOFF!” and “GIT AHTTA TAHN!” as many times as possible.
I’m obsessed with this show and as a dance teacher I have such an appreciation for the talent of these liitle kids and craziness of the mothers and teacher. Very addicting!
Yikes – what a mess this is!!
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and read this with a healthy does of sarcasm. It IS sarcasm, right? RIGHT?!
It’s like female bonding hour at our house when we watch. I can’t imagine paying someone to treat my girls the way she treats those girls in her studio.
Really, not so funny. She is an abusive bully and these people are allowing their children to be bullied and belittled on tv. Ya, they will be great “stars” and may be more likely to have mental health issues as a result. It is sad that this is now considered “entertainment”.
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