In my effort to wean Mazzy off of YouTube (to prevent accidental glimpses of Barney in a pool of his own blood), I uploaded some new educational apps on the iPad over the weekend. We are also working on limiting time on the iPad but since Mazzy was sick this weekend with doctor's instructions to stay indoors, I was a little lax.
One of the apps I loaded was "My PlayHome" based on a recommendation from the NY Times. (Note: This is not a paid post nor is it a review of the app.)
My PlayHome is not a game where you are trying to achieve something; it's just a house where you can move from room to room and make the members of the family who presumably live there (or maybe they are house squatters? that would be way more interesting…) do things like eat apples, flush the toilet and go to sleep.
Then all of a sudden she started screaming.
"Make mommy sleep! Make mommy sleep!"
I ran over to see what was wrong.
Apparently, if you put the girl, the boy or the baby into their respective beds, they will switch to a lying down position and go to sleep.
But if you put the mother or the father into one of the beds, they will just stand on top of it.
"Ummm… I'm sorry sweetie but it doesn't look like the mommy CAN go to sleep."
"Go to bedroom! Go to bedroom!"
"Oh that sounds like a good idea. Let's find Mommy and Daddy's bedroom."
I clicked the arrows that moved from room to room in an effort to find some place for these poor parents to rest their weary heads.
No such place existed.
My PlayHome has four rooms. A kitchen, a living room, the kids's bedroom and a bathroom.
Meaning if the parents want to cook food, brush their teeth and make futile attempts to put the toys on the floor back on the shelves, they are more than welcome.
But if they want to get some rest or god forbid, do anything else that a couple might do in a bed, they are shit out of luck.
Closer inspection revealed that the parents aren't even allowed to sit on the couch.
Also, you can turn on the television but it will only play the same children's video over and over again. So there goes any chance of finally completing that fifth season of Dexter.
And you can take out another roll of toilet paper from the cabinet but there is no way to actually put it on the holder.
But good news! It is possible to give the mother a shower!
Although, after the shower is over, she is still wearing the same clothes.
So. Because my day job is in advertising, I have taken the liberty of writing a new tagline for the app.
"My PlayHome. More true to life than you would like to believe."
UPDATE: SInce MyPlayHome did me the honor of responding (with a sense of humor!), I thought I would do them the honor of an actual review. I highly recommend this app. In less than a day, MyPlayHome became Mazzy's go-to favorite with the added benefit that there is no learning curve— so the app is fun for a two-year-old to use right out of the gate.
MyPlayHome says they are planning on adding a parent's bedroom in future updates. I hope that once they add it, the kids hog the bed while making numerous demands for various beverages.
Remember my post "15 New Year's Resolutions I Wish My 2yo Would Make"? Well, you guys had such funny resolutions of your own that I used them for my post on Babble today. What? You didn't think I was going to write two blogs by myself, did you?? Check it out here.