Birthday-presentThis Thursday, while everybody else is thinking about turkey and sweet potatoes and pecan pie, I will be thinking about how nobody remembers it's my birthday.

That's right, this year my birthday falls on Thanksgiving and let me just remind you that having a birthday on a holiday SUCKS. It especially sucks when your usual hostess decides to flee the country to go on an exotic vacation (Thanks, Mom!) and you have to invite yourself to your husband's cousin's house so you're not left out on the street sharing cranberry stuffing with a pigeon. 

That might be a little dramatic, but you get the point.

You might also have noticed that I've been talking a lot about Mazzy's birthday lately which is on December 9th. Yep. Every year for the rest of my life, I'll be stuck planning my daughter's birthday festivities during my now irrelevant unremarkable non-event of a day. 

Can I tell you how many people have called asking what Mazzy wants for her birthday? Probably about twenty. How many people have asked me what I want? That's right. NADA.

So. When, a site that's part magazine and part online shopping mall, called to ask if I'd like to give away a $300 shopping spree and showcase a collection of my favorite items, I was all ears.

"You mean, you want me to talk about stuff that I would want? Not my daughter??"

"Well, we have kid's stuff too so you could do a Mazzy collectiβ€”"

"No, No! I like the idea of an Ilana Collection, thanks!"


So here we are. And yes, you read that right. You have the potential to win a $300 spree on Beso as long as you sing "Happy Birthday, Mommy Shorts" the whole damn time you're shopping.

Beso has so much on their site that selecting my favorites was a little overwhelming at first. Basically you can find every brand you've ever heard of on thereβ€” from Nine West to Alexander McQueen. But then I realized the best way to shop the site is to look through the editor's collections and the top picks at the opening of each section (women, men, kid's, jewelry, home, beauty) in categories like "Back to the Basics", "Borrowing from the Boys", and "Great Looking Trash Cans". It's kind of like looking through a fashion magazine except everything is right there available for purchase. A fabulous (and dangerous!) thing.

You can "heart" your favorites to refer back to later and make "collections" to email people who might need gift ideas. Like your husband (AHEM!) Plus you can sign up for deal alerts on specific brands or categories. For instance you can say that you just want to receive notifications if Marc Jacobs is having a handbag sale. Pretty awesome, right?

Ultimately I put together a birthday collection of my favorite practical, less than practical and totally impractical items. All are perfectly acceptable birthday gifts should anybody decide they want to get me something. (Really? You shouldn't have!)

Keep in mind, I did not take price into account WHATSOEVER. It's a birthday wish list that no one will buy for meβ€” why on earth would I create a budget?? But please know that you can find brands at every price point.


From left to right: Marc Jacobs Pretty Eliza Diaper Bag ($288), Proenza Schouler PS1 Medium Satchel ($1195), Rebecca Minkoff Beau Clutch ($250), Cole Haan Air Autumn Flat Boot ($398), Tory Burch Lawson Ankle Boots ($425), Christian Louboutin Two-Tone Pump ($675), Vince Honeycomb Turtleneck Sweater ($295), Phillip Lim Striped Wool/Silk Dress ($375), David Meister 'Cold Shoulder' Sequin Dress ($328), Tsovet Rose Gold Watch ($475), Marc By Marc Jacobs 'Jessica' Necklace ($118), Kenneth Jay Lane Coral Beetle Ring ($99)

I covet the aqua Proenza Schouler bag the most. Unsurprisingly, the most expensive item up there.

Before I get to the rules for the giveaway, you must promise me ONE THING. If you win, you are NOT ALLOWED to shop for your kid or your spouse. It's MY BIRTHDAY and I say you must spend the money on yourself.




1) You must be both a Mommy Shorts facebook fan and a Beso facebook fan to enter. This does not count as two entries. Just click here to become a fan of Mommy Shorts and click here to become a fan of Beso (if you are not one already) and then leave ONE comment below.

2) Answer the following question: What is the best or worst birthday gift you've ever gotten?

3) Contest open to US residents, 18 or older. Ending on Tuesday, Dec 6th.

2ND ENTRY (optional)

Today I posted Episode #2 of the Mommy Shorts Show. For an additional entry, subscribe to the Mommy Shorts YouTube Channel and then leave a second comment below. If you are already subscribed, just leave a second comment saying so. 


UPDATE: Congratulations to JEN! Since I am sure there is more than one Jen, this is the Jen that was given a "Dating for Dummies" book by her then boyfriend, now husband. Please contact me at to claim your prize.