Last Thursday, I wrote a post about how Elmo invited himself to Mazzy’s birthday party and now it seems like a Sesame Street theme is growing like a disease over my planned festivities.
In case you’re wondering, I’ve decided to embrace it.
I have also decided NOT TO BAKE MY OWN CUPCAKES, thanks to a photo a reader named Jennifer posted on the Mommy Shorts fanpage.
Behold the worst attempt at Cookie Monster cupcakes EVER:
Nothing says “Happy Birthday!” like a dozen blue zombie lizards scaring/scarring a roomful of children.
Unfortunately, the woman who “NAILED IT” is not alone. Extensive research (one or two google searches and way too much time on Cake Wrecks) uncovered several failed birthday party cakes that have the power to make you pack up your cake pan and electric mixer for good. Even scarier, many of these cakes appear to have been for sale.
12 SPECTACULAR BIRTHDAY CAKE FAILS
1) Dora the “OMG! There are two giant walruses fighting over my hair!”
2) Mickey Mouse turns 83 and doesn’t look a day over 97
3) What makes an engine go on a murderous rampage?
4) Barney gives himself a bikini wax
5) Shrek after a year on the Subway Diet
6) Angry Birds in bad Sesame Street disguises
7) Who lives in a deli case until he expires? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!!
8) Burn Victim Barbie
9) Decapitated Chewbacca
10) Incontinent Elmo
11) What? You’ve never seen a unicorn barn before?
12) Welcome to the rest of your life, Peter
BONUS ROUND
I’d also like to take this opportunity to point out that cakes are sliced with a huge knife and then eaten. So try to refrain from having one of those edible photo images of your child on the top.
Seriously, there is no easy way to slice into a baby’s head. Especially when she is staring RIGHT AT YOU.
Likewise for those oddly popular (google it) creepy sculpted baby cakes.
Do you know what it looks like when one of those things is sliced into with a cleaver head first? I DO. And I have not slept soundly since.
I’m gonna leave you with one last cake. It’s not a birthday cake but its so FANTASTIC, I had to share.
If you ask me, the groom looks a little too excited to slice into that thing…
Anybody got an epic baking fails to share of their own?
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Cakes found on The Chive, Cake Wrecks, The Power of Making, Oddee, Fail Blog, The Laughing Stork and StyleFrizz.
Okay, that sculpted baby cake? Just plain wrong. Really really really really wrong. And the ummm…unicorn barn? Perhaps not for a child’s party. Just sayin’.
I can never get over that first picture, it makes me giggle like a school girl.
I love the Cake Wrecks website!
And that last one? Can anyone be more self-absorbed to order a cake in your image?
oh my god, was 11 really supposed to be a unicorn party? I have never seen such a perfect sculpture of a penis before! Yikes!
Also, I almost drooled laughing over the Barney cake – the wax I used to use was that same color and I just couldn’t get myself together after I saw that! LOL!
You know, when I posted “unicorn barn”, I thought for sure the cake was supposed to be something else (what, I have no idea) and the phallic thing was accidental.
But upon further inspection, it is most definitely exactly what it looks like. There is seamen dripping out of the top.
So maybe grandma and the kid’s birthday are the same day?
Cause that would make it totally okay.
I can spend hours at Cake Wrecks laughing hysterically. So funny.
Love Cake Wrecks.
I also love the expression on the brides face in that last one – I can’t tell if it was a surprise she didn’t appreciate, or she was whining about something not being perfect on it.
Barbie looks pregnant and that Thomas cake is giving me nightmares.
I <3 Cake Wrecks!
The cookie monster cupcakes look like my creation. I barely have opposable thumbs (Darwin wouldn’t know what to do with me), so I specialize in blob cakes. (And plain cupcakes).
I love these. And how awful that the penis cake actually has something emanating from it. There’s a photo for the holiday card.
I think the Mickey Mouse is actually wearing a Princess Leia wig – very cute. And the pregnant Barbie is cool, too.
I know, right? I mean— it’s not even her with her new husband!!!
I was between the home bikini wax or checking himself out with a hand mirror for educational purposes.
It didn’t even occur to me that it could have been a surprise. I say— she as behind it entirely.
You’re right! Now I wish I could change Barbie to “Congratulations on Your Teen Pregnancy!”
My mom was always a big fan of ice cream cupcakes when i was little. You just bake the cupcake batter in wafer cones and there is pretty much no way on earth you can mess them up.
Maybe I should have called it “Princess Leia/Mickey Mouse/Father Time Hybrid”.
I think I remember seeing this on Bridezillas or something like that. I think she was upset because the bodice didn’t match exactly or something pretty stupid like that.
Haha! I guess it’s the thought that counts?
Peter’s mom was so careful to specify to the bakery that he had a nut allergy. I can see the order form in my mind’s eye with the words “Nuts Allergy” clearly spelled out. Those grocery store bakeries don’t always hire folks based on their intelligence.
That baby cake is really disturbing. I was laughing until that but ewww!
That unicorn barn killed me. Seriously, I’m dead. wow. My fail? I was in middle school and making cookies. I put in a cup of baking soda (powder?) instead of a tsp. My sister came in and asked me how they turned out. I told her they looked fine, but tasted off. She took a bite, spit it out, and hasn’t stopped reminding me of them since.
How sad is it that the penis cake looks more like actual junk than the wedding cake looks like that bride?
Plus, the poor kid with the beheaded Chewbacca cake is named “Navin.”
I’d *almost* rather be Peter with a nut allergy than named Navin.
Almost.
i must admit to seeing that episode too. your memory serves correct!
I can’t look at the Thomas one without snorting. Why is he so angry?!
We must choose the desired frosting, icing and flavour for the cake. Specific choices of colours and designs are also important. For girls, it’s nice to have typical rose designs, whereas for boys, it’s best to have balloons instead of roses.
I’m still laughing
AAAAAA….no! Could you imagine???? Even if Grandma was “liking” that thang…At a kids party too??? Just wrong…on sooo many levels!
“Mommy, what’s that stuff oooozzing out out Grandma’s cake?”… :-O
Just sayin’
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