Winter in the city with a toddler is challenging. There's not a lot of space to play indoors, it's too cold to take the kids to the playground and in order to go anywhere, you have to trek your baby around in an unheated stroller meaning it's best not to venture too far away from home. Manhattan parents breathe a collective sigh of relief when the end of March rolls around.
What could be a better way to welcome the warm weather than with a reader-submitted photo homage to winter misery? (That's a rhetorical question, please don't say— "How 'bout with a Slip 'N Slide, a Corona and some actual SUN?!")
I'll start with Ella (since I forgot to mention her birthday earlier this month). She's starring in a new show I call— "Life is Horrible!"
It's a musical.
Next is Noah in "Am I Crazy or is there a Smaller Happier Version of Me Growing Out of My Back?"
I am told by Bronx to Boulder that Noah's unfortunate back growth is named Rhys.
Here's Desmond, Esme, Tobias and Josephine (from Feast After Famine) in "Four Kids and a Toboggan".
Which looks really sweet until you find out they're all frozen together and waiting to be pried apart by the fire department.
But there is no photo sadder than the one below…
It has just dawned on Connor why his parents decided to have children.
Next up is a photo entitled "Hide Your Livestock".
Notice how Carson is sporting cowhide, sheepskin and raccoon fur all at once. In caveman times, there was a name for Carson— I believe it was "Greedy Sonofabitch".
Check out Charlie in "Does the Five Second Rule Apply to a City Sidewalk?"
Charlie also works for Vitamin Water. Hello, product placement!
Then there's the mom who thinks snow and boat attire are one and the same…
Either that or Annaleigh and PJ are in for the punishment of a lifetime.
Winter wouldn't be winter without Floridians rubbing their base tans in our faces…
Above are Madeline and Vincent mocking the North in their "winter" get-ups.
Here's a photo series I call, "Emily Is Not Being Fed Enough At Home".
Who wants to man my blog while I call child services on Baby (Tic,Tic) Boom?
And then there's Gordon (from McCrenshaw's Newest Thoughts)…
The dude dragging him is in the final stages of regretting having children.
Here's Gordon again after fleece went on sale at Baby Gap…
Below is Hazy in a classic case of "Mom Put Down The Camera And Save Your Child From That Falling Debris".
Mom tells us, no worries, her camera is OK.
Next is Hunter in "My Toys Are Better Than Your Toys".
And below is McKenna (from Four Plus an Angel) reenacting the final scenes from Inception.
I still don't get it.
And now for some cold weather ambivalence/pouting…
Clockwise from top left is Elijah in "Are We Going Outside or What?", Josephine in "My Hat is Smiling Enough for the Both of Us" and a baby called "N". What does "N" stand for? "Not Nearly as Fun as I Imagined".
Moving on to Maia who is asleep in a backpack…
Seconds later, Maia's parents realized they had left their trail mix and canteen in the crib.
And no album would be complete without Belle and Bean from A Belle, A Bean & A Chicago Dog.
I hope someone saved that dog before it froze to death.
Next we've got a kid called Lambooboolala (from Mommy's Nest) in…
"I asked for a winter coat and all I got was this lousy slanket!"
But it could be worse…
While Milo repeatedly banged his head on the sliding glass door, Mom took pictures from the warmth of their living room.
And finally, below is Anna (from Unglamourous Mommy) in what I can only assume is a direct "Cuteness Challenge" to Mazzy…
To which Mazzy says…
"BRING IT, BITCH!"
Thank you to everyone for contributing pictures. If I left your kid out, it is not because I deemed your child uncaptionable, it is because my inbox is a confusing and unorganized place.
Also, I've been a little reluctant in calling you all "fans" because who do I think I am— the cast of Glee? But "Reader Album" just sounded really boring so I hope you all don't mind the moniker.
If you'd like to know about the next fan photo album opportunity, please join the Mommy Shorts Facebook Fanpage.