One week ago today was Harlow’s last day of preschool. Not just preschool for the year. It was her last day of preschool ever, since Harlow is headed to kindergarten in the fall. It’s my last day of preschool too, since I don’t have a secret third child waiting in the wings to surprise you all.
Harlow ending preschool feels like much more of a milestone for our family than when Mazzy finished preschool. A bittersweet milestone, for sure. I can’t believe I’ll soon be one of the moms with two kids in grade school, without the need to constantly refer back to my little one still at home.
A lot of people have asked why Harlow is starting kindergarten since she will still be four-years-old come September. The answer is that, although some NYC private schools vary, most NYC schools have a December 31st cut-off, meaning as a November 15th birthday, Harlow makes the official cut-off.
I have many reservations about this (she’s so tiny!) and I know many parents who hold their kids with late birthdays back a year, but we opted to send her. As I said when Mazzy went to kindergarten (also at age four), Mike and I also grew up as the youngest kids in class (I’m a November birthday and Mike is October), so having that position seems almost par for the course for our family.
Even though kindergarten has a December cut-off, most preschools have a September cut-off, so Harlow has actually been the oldest in her class for the past few years. She is currently in a threes class (since she was three when she started), with most of her classmates born in 2013 and returning for one more year.
So… in addition to skipping from the threes class to kindergarten, Harlow will also be going from being the oldest in her class to being the youngest. Another big shift.
I remember when Mazzy started kindergarten. I always thought of her as so much older than her preschool class, so it was weird to realize how young she was compared to the other kids in kindergarten. Both in size and in skill level. Many of them could read and Mazzy barely knew her letter sounds. It was very intimidating (for me; not really for Mazzy) and Harlow will be in the same boat.
I’m a firm believer in letting kids develop at their own pace, and thankfully Mazzy’s school believes that too. We were always told that Mazzy’s skill level was developmentally appropriate and I tried my best not to worry about what the other kids were doing. Two years later, it feels like Mazzy has caught up and she’s doing great. Although, sometimes I wonder if it benefits a kid to be at the head of their class all along.
Selfishly, sometimes I wish we had kept both Mazzy and Harlow back a year just so they’d spend one more year at home.
As for Harlow, she seems really excited to make the leap. She has been running around screaming, “I’m going straight to kindergarten next year!” Then I told her that she would not be allowed to ride in her stroller to kindergarten and she was not happy about that AT ALL. Harlow loves her stroller.
There is a lot about Harlow’s old school I will miss, like the small class size (just seven kids in her class this year) and the intimate nature of the school, which has only three classes— toddlers, twos and threes. I will miss her wonderful caring teachers, who know Harlow’s quirky personality and sensitive nature so well now.
And, of course, I will miss the Jewish aspects of her preschool, because as we all know, Harlow loved learning about her religion. She taught us about the holidays, brought home homemade challah every Friday and encouraged us to start celebrating Shabbat.
Just yesterday morning on the way to the dentist (one week after school had ended), Harlow started singing a song in Hebrew.
“What are you singing, Harlow?”
“Tefillah.”
Tefillah is the Jewish word for prayer, which Harlow sang at school every morning as part of their daily routine. Mike and I do not sing Tefillah at home and I did not grow up doing it, but I remember watching my grandfather. He would put on his yarmulke and tallis once a day and sing prayers while carrying tefillin, which are small black leather boxes containing parchment inscribed with verses from the Torah.
I’m not sure what will become of Harlow’s dedication to Judaism from here. She will start going to Hebrew school next year, one afternoon a week like Mazzy, so it will still be a big part of her life, but not quite the focus as it has been over the past few years. I hope that Harlow’s love for her religion sticks with her and that some of the things she has taught our family (like observing Shabbat) stick with us too.
When I brought out our little chalkboard to make a “Last Day of Preschool” sign, Harlow asked if she could make the sign herself. I said, “okay” and wrote the words on a piece of paper for her to copy.
Harlow insisted on writing her name on the chalkboard first, with heart-shaped flourishes throughout. She ran out of space for the “W” and had to put it above the “O.” Then she needed to make space for “Last Day of Preschool” above her name, but wasn’t overly concerned with the ordering of the words.
She fit it all in though, just not exactly in the right place.
Still. I think it’s an excellent example of a kid who wants to learn and for now, effort is really what matters most.
Kindergarten, here we come!
Yay for Harlow! Mine mini me finished preschool a week ago and she’s 3. Her birthday is June 18th and her school cutoff is December 31st. Liberty was in Hebrew preschool and now she’ll be in regular primary school.
*my mini me*
Thank you for talking about this! My twins will be 5 about 10 days after they start kindergarten….you’d think I was sending them to a hard work labor camp the reaction I have been getting for “sending them early”. They are 5…if they want the age to be 6 then change it to 6! “They will be the youngest!” Yeah, becuase you decided to hold yours back! I was always the youngest in my class. When I graduated high school I was 17. I turned out ok. Parents know whether or not their kids are ready for school.
Love this! My older girl misses the cutoff in our state by 30 days (but did not miss it where we lived previously). She started reading independently at 3.5, so there was no way I could keep her home another year — she was in pre-k with 5-year-olds this year at 4, and was just fine. So we are sucking it up for private kinder for a year (ACK) and then she’ll reunite with her friends from preschool in first grade. When kids are ready, they’re ready. Sounds like Harlow is gonna knock their socks off!
I watched that live video of Harlow singing her tefillah song (which is called adon olam, btw) and laughed out loud. It was too adorable! ! Her jewish pride is evident and she seems to love her religion. I hope she carries it with her to Kindergarten! I wish her much luck in the next school year…
My eldest also started kindergarten at 4(also a November birthday). She is doing just fine headed into 5th grade (except for the attitude about school work). My other daughter is also one of the youngest in her class, headed into 3rd. She is getting help with reading, but is advanced in math. I can not imaging having kept either of them back a year.
Great post as usual! Thanks for the clarification about cut off dates for school. I didn’t realize they veried so much! We have lived in TN and IA with kids in school, and the cut off dates were early August and September. I’m sure Harlow will do awesome in Kindergarten!
This is so interesting to me. I live in Arkansas where the cut off date is currently August 1st. My youngest daughter turns 5 on August 20th, so she’ll be in preschool (prekindergarten or pre K 4, whatever you want to call it for one more year before Kindergarten. I’m certain both our girls will do just fine!❤️
My daughter likes to put hearts in her name, too!
Congrats, Harlow! You’ll do awesome in kindergarten! My November 11 daughter started at 4 and is the youngest in her class too.
I’m also a fall birthday and have discovered one hidden advantage of being the youngest in the class, most of my high school friends are turning 40 this year and I’m only turning 39!
The school cutoff thing is so interesting, especially that NYC schools are different private vs. public. Who knew? (I mean, other than people who live in NYC, of course!) I FL, OH, KY and TN where I’ve lived, all the cutoff dates are August/September-ish. Selfishly, if I had a kid who was close, I’d probably keep them back a year. Just because I want kids to be little for as long as possible. As it is, it’s not really an issue for either of mine. My daughter just turned 5 and is starting Kindergarten in the Fall. She’s SO READY! I cant wait to see her little mind grow by leaps and bounds in the next year.
I’m not crying… you’re CRYING!
My son is a late September birthday and also started when he was 4. He is finishing his last day of kindergarten right now! We moved mid way through the year which posed a challenge (where he started, the cut off was October 15. Where we moved to, it is September 1). He was able to transition without any issues but he will definitely now always be the youngest by at least 3 weeks. It is such a decision and different for every kid and family. But people sure do have strong opinions about it!! I’m sure Harlow (and all of you) will do great next year.
Our cut off is Dec 1st so my oldest with an October birthdate was one of the youngest in his class. Unfortunately my next two miss the cut off because they are December 4 and 5 which will make them the oldest in their classes. I loved my oldest starting out so early. He developed such a love of academics that I just couldn’t seem to instill the same way the teachers could.
If you think about it you’re actually giving them a very unique economic advantage. They will be in their careers an entire year before their peers. If they invest just $1000 in their first year post college that could potentially be a huge amount at their retirement. I know that’s weird to think about in regards to a 4 year old but the data in red shirting is inconclusive but compound interest is FACT.
Thank you for that! I will use that next time I am attacked for my brutal decisions!
Aww, I can’t believe Harlow is already graduating preschool! As you (hopefully) remember, I have been reading your blog since Mazzy was two and Harlow hadn’t been conceived yet! Your blog/Instagram/YouTube has been influential in inspiring me to start blogging/Instagramming myself btw!
You know, I just don’t think the Peanut Gallery of family/friend armchair parents is ever satisfied. Dylan is a September birthday, and he will be fourthis year. We decided last year to wait on preschool, because he wasn’t ready (and I did want him to have another year at home). So now people keep falling out when they learn he isn’t in preschool yet! OMG slow your roll, people! We are talking about a 3 year old here! And as his third year has progressed and he has shown increasing signs of possible autism (we had his evaluation last week and get the results tomorrow as a matter of fact) I know we made the right decision. Especially since, if he does have autism, that will play a major role in a decision about preschool this year. So you as Harlow’s parents know her best!
And honestly I bet you dollars to donuts that if you kept her back a year, people would be just as vocal about telling you that you shouldn’t hold her back! I’ve come to the conclusion that we just can’t win for losin’ as parents so we should just do what we want/feel is right anyway!
I am sure Harlow will do excellently and have a wonderful year! Also, do s this mean Mazzy is turning 8 this year? Because I’m not ready for that! 😭