Now that we’re one month into school and beginning to get our regular routine down, I want to share some changes that I’ve made to make our mornings run smoother. You know, major changes that give me more free time to re-microwave my coffee six times before walking out the door and forgetting it all together.
Yeah. I’ll be honest and say, we have in no way mastered our mornings yet. This is not a well-oiled machine. But we’re ticking along and I’m only screaming for about 50% of the time and so far, every day, we’ve gotten to school on time, so. I must be doing something right.
8 Changes I’ve Made to to Our Mornings to Get to School on Time:
1) Mike and I try to wake up early so we can get ready before the kids are awake
Gone are our 5am human alarm clocks (which seemed horrible at the time) and instead, we find ourselves in the odd position of dragging our kids out of bed at 7am. I know you parents with younger children don’t want to hear this, but this is actually worse!!!! I will take 5am snuggles over boot camp style sheet pulling any day of the week. “But I don’t want to go to school….” they cry. Oh man, are we at this age already??? Since the kids are so difficult in the morning, Mike and I work best when we are both ready ourselves before they get up. This doesn’t always happen, but this is the goal. This way we can fully focus our energy on convincing our kids that yes, you do have to get up and out of bed. You also have to tell us what you want for breakfast. And sit still while I brush your hair!
2) I have the kids pick out their outfits the night before.
I don’t know when getting dressed got so complicated but all of sudden, both Mazzy and Harlow are ridiculously particular about what they wear. They have both determined that about 95% of the clothing in their drawers is not their style. “What is your style then?” I ask. They can’t tell me. They’ll know it when they see it, which is definitely not in their closet. Especially now since it’s getting colder and shorts and sandals are off limits. I think Mazzy wore the same tank top and shorts for at least 15 of the last 18 days of school. I actually decided to do laundry less often so it wasn’t always an option. I find that it’s much easier to convince them to wear something they don’t really want to wear in the evening than it is in the morning when they are tired and cranky. Plus, I’ve found that once they pick their clothes out at night, the battle has been won and they have yet to fight me over it again in the morning. I make them pick out their shoes, socks and all their accessories too. Harlow can take at least an additional fifteen minutes to pick out a necklace, a flower clip, a purse, what goes into the purse, etc. We simply do not have that kind of time.
3) We banned iPads in the morning.
This is a new one for us. We used to only allow iPads in the morning because it was the one time of day where there was a definitive cut off when we needed to leave the house. We thought it was a foolproof way to limit screen time. But this was also because Mazzy and Harlow woke up at ungodly hours and we needed to give them something to do so we could grab a few extra zzzzzs. Now that we are waking them up at 7am, there is no time to waste. They really need to focus and get ready. This was incredibly big change for them that was met with a lot of resistance, so, Mike and I agreed to a compromise…
4) We allow TV with some conditions.
We need to be out the door at 8am, so we’ve made a deal that if they are ready and eating breakfast by 7:20am, we can turn on the television and watch one show. This also helps to get them out of bed since they know they’ve only got 20 minutes before the window for television closes. Why television over the iPads? Because TV shows are a set time and everybody watches and stops watching together. It’s much easier to shut a show off when it ends at 7:45am and tell them “It’s time to brush your teeth!!!!” as opposed to them each being in the middle of two separate YouTube videos, one with three minutes running time left and the other with an hour and 45 minutes left.
5) I hung their schedules on the back of the front door.
Now that Mazzy can read, she can be a lot more responsible for her schedule. She can look and see when she has gym class and needs to wear sneakers and when she’s got after school activities that require additional books or gear. She knows to make sure her homework is packed and her recorder sheet is signed by a parent. She can help Harlow decipher her schedule too. And, as someone who was never good at keeping after school activities straight, having a schedule as the last thing I see before I walk out the door is extremely helpful for me too. “Oh! You have hip-hop today, Harlow!” “I KNOW, MOM…*Eye roll*” Mornings are such a lovely time.
6) I put my kids in the same school.
I highly recommend you try this one! Now, it might be impossible if one kid is in preschool and the other kid is in college, but I can’t stress enough how much this change has simplified our routine. We should have put Harlow in kindergarten years ago! Mazzy and Harlow finally going to the same school means Mike and I can take turns dropping them off while the other person can go to the gym, go out for breakfast, read a book or who am I kidding? None of that happens because the parent not going to school is the one taking on more of responsibility to get the kids ready when everyone is finally out the door, he or she is left standing in the middle of the kitchen, wearing a disheveled bath robe with hair sticking out in every direction (is that syrup????) like a tornado just blew through the apartment. The only thing you have time to do is get yourself together, clean up all the breakfast plates so you don’t get rodents and go to work.
7) Harlow stopped using her stroller.
Harlow LOVES her stroller. We still haven’t been able to get rid of it entirely (she’s got tiny legs and we walk a lot in the city), but we have successfully banned it from our school commute. We walk to the bus every morning, which is not far, and I can’t tell you happy it makes me to get on board without having to fold that thing up, drag it up the steps and find a way to slip it around all the passengers and under the seats. Then riding the bus the whole time scared I am going to forget about it and it leave it on the bus. Plus, you know what’s impossible while pushing a stroller? Carrying a cup of coffee. Or an umbrella. It’s awesome to have my hands free and two kids responsible for their own stuff.
8) We keep Mazzy’s goodbyes short and sweet.
You know what’s a big time saver? The fact that as soon as the bus lets us off at our stop, Mazzy sees a friend and is off and running toward school without me. We have about two blocks from the bus stop before we actually get to school (around a corner with no streets to cross) and most times, I am about twenty paces behind Mazzy, trying to get Harlow to keep up so I can be with both of them for as long as possible. Sometimes when we get to the school, Mazzy waits for us to catch up, but most of the time she just runs up to class on her own. Then Harlow usually wants to visit her classroom so she can give her one last hug before going to her own class. I use Harlow as an excuse to get my last hug too.
Independence is definitely a time saver, but I’d take a longer hug any day of the week.
What changes have you made in your morning routine that make things run smoother?
I make the kids pick out clothes the night before too. I also shower and make sure I have all of my stuff done the night before as well. I get myself about halfway ready before the kids get up and finish while they are eating breakfast. My kids are NOT morning people, so it helps to have a half hour or so that they can be left alone to mentally prepare before I try to rush them out the door.
I also recently realized something. My kids are 6 and 3, and I was thinking about what a struggle it used top be to get the older one up and moving. I felt so mean because I was yelling all the time and making them hustle and stick to the morning routine…Lots of resistance and tears. And now at age 6 she does 90% of the getting ready all by herself and helps with her brother. So all the anguish paid off and I feel less bad about forcing the little one through the schedule as well!
We just started 2 days a week of preschool with my 2 year old and my husband goes to work at noon so we don’t have chaotic mornings but when I was a kid I was just like your girls about clothes. I had to pick out my entire outfit the night before through high school. I occasionally still do it mentally or physically now as an adult if I have a meeting or something more “special” happening. I don’t know why it sometimes takes me so long to decide, or why the heck it’s so important but I guess that’s just my brain. One of the plus sides to having had to get my clothes organized the night before is that I tend to do it naturally about other things in life as well. Get her backpack ready, prep my lunches for work the night before, etc. Even though my house isn’t always very organized, I tend to be pretty organized about our life in general and plan as much as I can so things go smoothly. Maybe this routine of thinking ahead for the next day will help your girls in other areas of their life as they grow up too!
Can you come to implement this routine with me at my apartment? I feel like if I had someone helping me prepare the night before (29 isn’t too old for a visual and written schedule is it?!) and then making sure I’m out of bed in the morning, I would be much more likely to make it to work on time. Plus, if I had someone giving me a big hug before I walk into the office each day, I might actually arrive at my desk with a smile on my face every morning!
My girls are 9 and 11. They started making their own lunches last year (I didn’t even prompt this. Thank you Girls Scout cooking badge!). I will still do the parts that require chopping. Cucumber slices, apples, peppers. . . If I can, I will prep a bunch on Monday and the girls will take bits of it through the week.
I moved the cereals within reach. This may seem like a small thing, but they couldn’t reach the top of the fridge so didn’t bother pouring their own breakfast.
They pack their bookbags the night before too.
I also put the to bed early. 8pm. Even my 11 year old. Whenever they argue about it I tell them, “as long as I have to drag you out of bed in the morning, you go to bed at 8.”
I’ve realized when they are in a good mood. They can get ready in 20 minutes. When they are tired. . . they take the full hour and I end up coaxing them along relentlessly.
My kid goes to a school that you have to test into. I hope that little sis tests into it next year so I have 4 years of my kids going to the same school. I would be so happy.
My girls go to a catholic school and my oldest just started Kindergarten which means she now wears a uniform. That has really made the mornings easier. No more arguments over what to wear to school because she wears the same thing every day and so far (fingers crossed) hasn’t complained about it. We also don’t turn on the tv in the morning until she is totally ready for school – breakfast has been consumed, clothes on, hair done and teeth brushed. Then she can watch something on Netflix while I get the little one (14 months) dressed for daycare and my husband and I can get ready for work. We have by no means mastered the morning routine (she moves at a snails pace down the stairs when it’s time to put shoes and socks on to leave) but she hasn’t been late (yet). I also make her lunch the night before so all I have to do in the morning is take it out of the fridge and put it in her backpack – huge time saver!
This side of the pond it is common to wear uniform to school which while not foolproof sure saves a stack of outfit choosing time. I cannot imagine my kids dithering if they had options. Ugh. My eldest has a few anxiety related sensory issues so spending a bomb on seamless socks has literally saved 20 minutes of wrangling him into footwear on mornings he feels stressed. I never thought socks could make such a difference and feel sad that I didn’t click on to this years ago and save the whole family some serious morning crap. Am right with you on written schedules too – lifesaver – and I feel like I am helping them be independent and take responsibility as well as getting my own head in the game so have to see that as a parenting win! Finally I put all my clocks downstairs slightly fast because we push the time every single departure so even though deep down I know they are fast, a quick glance in a panic and I don’t think about it meaning we are never as late as we think we are. Plus the bigger kids can tell time so are motivated to get going. Well, in theory. Yet to see that work on the boys…..
Our morning routine is just weird. We live almost an hour away from school and work, but my mother-in-law lives 5 minutes from my son’s school. We learned the hard way last year that if he eats too much breakfast he gets sick in the car. So my son, who is 4, still wakes up too early. I tell him we don’t get up till the sun rises at 6am. At 6 he gets his milk and then brushes his teeth and then he can play while my husband and I get ready. We now have a 6 month old that complicates things although as long as nobody is loud she sleeps until we have to leave at 7am. I wake her up to nurse at 5am and she usually goes back to sleep before my son gets up. I pack snack, lunches and breakfasts and we wait for the babysitter to show up. MY son still in his PJs gets into the car. We then take turns choosing songs the whole way to school (this helps balance out the kids music). We drop my husband off at 8am, then at my in-laws house he eats breakfast and gets dressed for school in 15 minutes and then I drop him off before 8:30. Then I go to work, I don’t have to be there till 9am, but I get their by 8:30 so I can leave earlier. Also my son’s school is only half day and both my husband and I get an hour lunch break, so we all eat lunch together almost everyday at my in-laws house.
Every time I try and set an alarm to wake up earlier than the kids, they decide to wake up early that day too…defeats the purpose!
Two tricks from our house:
1- Absolutely NO screens in the morning. They get sucked in and it is a battle to put them away EVERY SINGLE time.
2- My 4 year old daughter is very opinionated about her clothes. If she is not dressed by the time I’m dressed and finished packing lunches, I pick out her outfit. She hates when I pick the outfit. She has only lost to me once so far and it is the sixth week of school. I’ll call it a win. I’m secretly hoping I get to pick a few more outfits- she has adorable rompers that she never chooses!
We do so many of these too! Prepping the night before has been a huge help for us. Our routine this year is a little different because my husband and my work schedules are a little more varied and flexible. It helps that most of the time I am able to come back home from the bus stop and finish getting myself ready before I have to leave.
Our biggest struggle is the last 5 minutes before we actually walk out the door. It baffles me that every single day “put on your socks and shoes” is the hardest thing to do!!
They are well thought out and time saving ideas. I’ve used most of them when I was taking care of my nieces and nephews ( oh how I miss those days ),and the mornings usually went pretty well. Also, I’m 100% behind the longer hugs.
Our routine, as compared to some others, is quite strict.
My children (5 and 9) can express wishes about their breakfast with one day advance, so today they can tell me that they would like to have i.e. granola or whatever tomorrow and it is likely that they get it. Otherwise, they get what they got the day before, forever 🙂
No screen time, absolutely no screen time in the morning. It makes them unbearable. TV is only allowed between 6:30 and 7:30 p.m. No Ipads, no mobiles, nothing whatsoever.
Clothes: I pick them up for them and they are allowed to change things if they have a clear idea of what they want to wear instead (blue pants instead of green pants, let’s say) and if the climate allows it. It was a long, long fight to get to this point, and I am very happy we have made it.
The 9yo goes to school on her own, as is common in Germany where we live. So she has to hurry up to meet her two friends she goes with, and they use a scooter to get to school, they would walk only when it rains very much. Immediately after she leaves, my husband or myself take the 5yo to Kindergarten
and then go to work. And yes they are in the same school which is absolutely the best that could happen to us, in our case especially for picking up in the afternoon. Everything is so much easier now that we have sold our second car, we just do not need it anymore. What a relief!
My husband and I wake up at 6, the girls between 6:30 and 6:40, by 7:30 we are all out of the house. We are always on time and we even have some time to snuggle…
Nice list! I shall have to incorporate the few I haven’t already. For the screentime, we find that it has to be on the TV and it can be public TV which has end/start time which is like a timer (if the show is over, time for 5 yr old to go brush teeth). The 5 yr old takes a school bus and it leaves at 7:50 am. It takes 3 mins to get to the bus stop from the front door. Build in 2 mins to finagle him and the 3 yr old younger brother who insists on coming, too. So must be out the door by 7:45. For the 5 yr old, he needs 15 mins to look at his breakfast to nibble or inhale it, depending on his mood, so it needs to be on the table by 7:20. The 3 yr old gets breakfast at daycare, which is his 2nd breakfast; he gets a breakfast at home, but usually takes daddy’s breakfast. What has really helped is that the 3 year old’s daycare/preschool is on the way to Daddy’s work, so either one of us can drop him off and it no longer feels like mommy does everything.
I wake my 10 year old up at 6:30 for school. I have just recently banned him from all electronics until he is 100% ready to walk out the front door. It’s amazing to me that he can now get completely ready without me having to remind him of any steps, and he still gets the exact amount of screen time in the morning. As an added bonus for me, I don’t even have to raise my voice & am in a better morning mood.
My mornings are pretty empty because work late night I am usually sleeping and letting dad take care of get him off to school.
Making lunches the night before (with their help!) has been a life-saver. Glad all of your changes have made your life easier, it’s so chaotic with kids this age!
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