Dear Family and Friends,
Happy Holidays from NYC!
2015 has been a jampacked year marked by milestone events like Harlow’s refusal to use the potty, Mazzy’s dedication to staining every item of clothing in her closet and threats of divorce from Mike if Ilana doesn’t just let everyone eat their goddamn meal without taking a photo of it first.
Ilana finished the first draft of her book which was very exciting until she realized that this year is also the year Mazzy learned to read. She might have to cut out some profanities and the story about Mazzy taking a dump in the living room.
Mike spent much of the year agonizing over how to replace our broken toaster. He could either buy a $30 toaster and put it on the counter in the same place our toaster has always been for the past ten years… or he could buy a $100 toaster that could hang from the kitchen cabinet freeing up counter space. He finally decided on the $100 hanging toaster but once it arrived, he realized he would have to move the electrical outlet to accommodate it. The handyman in our building quoted him $150 for the job bringing the cost of our new toaster up to $250. While we all await Mike’s final decision, the $100 hanging toaster is currently sitting on the counter exactly how a regular $30 toaster could have. Can’t wait to see what happens in 2016!
Mazzy has begun a delightful new past time commonly referred to as “hoarding”. There is not a piece of artwork, a scrap of fabric, an empty box, an element from nature, etc. that Mazzy does not deem worthy of keeping. Where do all these things go? In charming little piles all around the house. You might stumble upon a tableau of carefully laid out garbage and feel compelled to toss it in the nearest trash— but wait! It is not garbage at all. It’s what Mazzy calls “very special” and you are clearly short-sighted for envisioning anything less.
Harlow has developed a fondness for colorful language, particularly words related to the potty. “Pee”, “poop” and “toilet” are all hilarious words that deserve as much play as possible. “Sink” and “tub” are also somehow hilarious just by virtue of being in the bathroom. “Poopy” is Harlow’s personal favorite and she will use it in response to almost any question you ask. “What are you doing Harlow?” “Poopy.” What do you want for dinner Harlow?” “Poopy.” We are so proud.
We are spending this Christmas wondering why Hanukah was so ridiculously early this year and trying to convince our kids that Santa is not all he is cracked up to be. Who wants a stranger breaking into your house and stealing your cookies?
You can probably find us at a Chinese restaurant trying to convince our kids to try something ANYTHING besides the white rice.
Happy holidays and onwards and upwards in 2016!
The Wiles Family
Giveaway: 3 Month supply of Plum organics
For a chance to win a 3 month supply of Plum Organics, create your own Unfiltered Holiday Newsletter (like the one at the top of the post) at www.2015Unfiltered.com and share your version directly on the Mommy Shorts Facebook page or post a link to your newsletter in the comments below. It’s super easy and will feed you lots of funny prompts and responses in addition to letting you create some of your own.
Note: After creating your card, save to camera roll or desktop and then upload to the Mommy Shorts FB page in the comments under this post.
Winner will be announced on December 23rd.
Congrats Tressely! Please contact firstname.lastname@example.org to claim your prize!
This post was sponsored by Plum Organics’ Parenting Unfiltered campaign, an initiative near and dear to my heart because I believe we should celebrate all of parenting— not just the newsletter worthy moments!