Summer is upon us! That means the kids are out of school and we need to figure out how we’re going to spend our time without going crazy. The answer? Relaxing on the rules and creating new ones. Balanced meals? Clean children? HA. Those are tasks better performed in winter.

Here are my favorite summertime rules for parents:

1. Swimming in a pool totally counts as a bath.

2. Did you chase your kids down to re-apply sunscreen? Exercise complete!

3. There is no such thing as messy tangled unbrushed hair. This is what we call “beach hair”.

4. When it’s above eighty degrees, you are doing your family a favor by ordering take-out instead of cooking.

5. All sock matching, sock washing and sock wearing has been postponed until September. This is why you purchased sandals.

6. Yes, you can spit those watermelon pits on the ground.

7. As long as they’re quiet and stay in their rooms, it’s no concern of yours what time your kids actually fall asleep. Close that door and walk away, soldier. You did your duty.

8. There’s no difference between indoor and outdoor toys anymore. Every toy in your house is going to spend at least a few days outside. Just accept it and move on.

9. Protein can be consumed exclusively in hot dog form every night of the week.

10. There is no such thing as an oven, only a grill. Use that oven to store winter clothes or something.

11. The ice cream truck is a small price to pay for achieving temporary hero status. And if it drives by your house at 4pm, think of those bomb pops and Hello Kitty popsicles as dinner appetizers.

12. Speaking of which, ice cream is an excellent source of dairy.

13. At this point, when it comes to summer day camp, money is no object. Art camp? Lego camp? Run around and do nothing camp? SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.

14. The most important person in the house is the person who controls the A/C.

15. Kiddie pools are an excellent place to dip your feet without getting your hair wet.

16. Sunglasses are an excellent way to dress up your pajamas. Not to mention, hide the fact that your baby woke you up at 4am.

17. Time spent on the summer reading program directly counteracts all that extra screen time.

18.  Meals taste better when eaten outside on paper plates, using a table that is easily cleaned off with the hose.

19. You’re legally required to let your kids stay up late to catch fireflies at least once per summer. The extra mosquito bites are just an additional treat!

20. Bathing suits are an acceptable clothing choice for the day.

21. Keeping the suit on after they come out of the pool is an acceptable way to dry them.

22. It is your duty to teach your kids the joy of driving on a sunny day with all the windows down. Bonus points for blasting the radio while you do it. Even further bonus points for finding a song you all like enough to sing together.

23. Children shall be shown sympathy for having to go to bed when it’s still light outside, but not leniency. Adult time starts at the same time, and those TV shows aren’t going to watch themselves.

24. Lounging around and doing nothing with your kids is just as important as hauling them to every tourist attraction, zoo, and amusement park in the tri-state area. So pour yourself a cold drink and get busy making memories…sitting in the backyard.

25. School supplies are not to be purchased or even browsed through at the store until at least August. Have a little respect for summer.


This post was contributed by Janel Mills from 649.133 – Girls, the Care and Maintenance Of.

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