There’s a new show on TLC called “Labor Games” which surprises couples in the delivery room as they are giving birth to actual babies (not just little people who play “babies” on TV) and challenges them to a series of baby-related questions for the chance to win fabulous prizes for their new family.
WHAT COULD GO WRONG???
Here’s my proof this is an actual thing:
On first viewing, I thought— THIS IS THE WORST IDEA EVER AND THE TRASHIEST TRAIN WRECK SINCE DANCE MOMS. DOESN’T TLC STAND FOR “THE LEARNING CHANNEL”???? WELL, ISN’T THAT A CROCK OF SHIT.
But then, after thinking about it a little more, I reconsidered. In fact, I bet I would have KICKED ASS at Labor Games. I love competition! Why wasn’t this around three years ago?!
Here are 10 reasons you should TOTALLY want to be a contestant on “Labor Games”:
1) I can’t think of a better distraction from labor pains than a game show host asking you rapid fire trivia questions.
2) The chance to go home from the hospital with fantastic prizes instead of just a boring old baby! Everybody leaves the hospital with a newborn but you would also walk out with a brand new breast pump, a high tech baby monitor and a canopy crib! What a perfect way to make your room mate with the window jealous.
3) After my epidural, I had about six solid hours with nothing to do, except hold court for my extended family in paper underwear. I would have LOVED an excuse to kick them all out of the room.
4) You’d get a professional video crew to film your delivery. FOR FREE! Who needs all that storage space taken up on their iPhone?
5) An unbiased stranger to weigh in last minute on your baby name. Someone to tell you that no, Bryan is spelled with an “I”, not a “Y”, and potentially saving your child from a lifetime of correcting people.
6) In one episode, the husband is challenged to eat and identify baby foods. Which means later on in your delivery, when he asks if he can duck out to get a bite to eat (like all husbands do), you now have the perfect response. “YOU JUST ATE.”
7) No need to waste time and money creating a birth announcement— your birth will be aired for public viewing nationwide!
8) Let’s not underestimate the learning involved! Sure, there are books to read about raising a child, but do you think you’ll retain that information nearly as well as the questions you were asked at the height of your contractions? I don’t think so.
9) When your nurse asks you if your want to hold a mirror, you can say, “No, thanks. I’d rather be mesmerized by the colorful flashing lights than the sight of my bloody placenta.”
10) The opportunity to punch someone in the face other than your husband. Yes, I’m talking about the host. And then, after Lisa Arch is lying in a heap at the foot of your hospital bed, you and your spouse can bond over your mutual disgust for reality television and welcome your baby as ONE COHESIVE FAMILY UNIT.
Do not underestimate the power of bonding in the delivery room, friends.
What do you think? Labor Games: Worst or Best Idea Ever?
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